Category Archives: Thoughts

The bulk of my thoughts go here. Life, something you can’t avoid.

Happy

We’ve made considerable progress since KnyghtMare offered his collar again. We’re adding protocol here and there, we’re more playful and flirty. Interactions feel less forced and more natural, more relaxed. I think our relationship is rebuilding itself nicely. That said, … Continue reading

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Drowning in Negative Self-Talk

I’m drowning. I can’t shut off all the negative self-talk in my head lately. I know it’s false though because I can’t find anything to prove it’s valid thinking, but it still won’t go away. One moment it’s that I’m … Continue reading

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New Jewelry and a Foundation

Last week KnyghtMare put his new collar on me. It’s a lovely Sterling Silver chain and I couldn’t be happier. We’ve had a little talk to establish our foundation, a place where everything will build from. I think I needed … Continue reading

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Stop Standing Still

I’m doing okay. Since my father and I hadn’t seen each other for 10 years the pain of his loss is different and muted somewhat. I’m looking for normalcy at this point and desperately crave things to just function as … Continue reading

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Dad is Gone

I thought because I didn’t have a relationship with my dad, that I wouldn’t have a need to grieve. I was so wrong! “… my dad was an asshole, too. But it didn’t make it any easier to bury him. … Continue reading

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Death is Strange

It’s just one thing after another around here. Most people who believe in superstitions say that bad things happen in threes. If that’s the case, I’ve just had my third thing appear. On Father’s Day, I found out that my … Continue reading

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Owned!

Last night, KnyghtMare asked me to be his submissive again! I had been hoping that my changes and progress on myself was making it evident that I can be a better person and worthy submissive for him. And now I … Continue reading

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Changing and Grief

May was tough. Max’s death has been really hard on me and just thinking about how hard it is makes me tear up. The self-talk I have about it isn’t the best. I keep saying, he was a cat, you … Continue reading

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