Staying Positive While Sick

I’ve been struck by a pretty annoying cold so staying positive has been a challenge. I’ve taken to the internet to find ways to stay positive while feeling ill. Here’s the list that spoke to me.

1. Your body is sick, not your brain. I need to remind myself that I’m not required to feel sad just because I’m sick and delineate a happy divide between physical aches and pains and emotional ones. You can be in pain and not suffer–or at least not add to the external suffering with a “poor me” monologue in your head.

2. Take Sensory Care. The normal defenses a well person has against visual, auditory, olfactory, and other kinds of clutter are pretty defeated when you’re sick. Your energies are consumed with getting better, not filtering out. This makes it all the more important to be in a tidy, clean space that smells pleasant (or at least clean), sounds peaceful, and looks nice. Even if you can’t control all of those things, do what you can with your immediate little sick nest–toss the tissues, make the bed (even if you’re in it), put the dishes away, wipe the table down, etc.

3. Ask Yourself: Does This Have Good Energy? It’s not about a value judgment, but it usually works out that some things bring us up and other things bring us down.  I, quite commonly, marathon watch Survivorman. If he can survive a week without food, water, and shelter in the middle of nowhere, then I can survive this bout of illness!

4. Drink Plenty of Fresh Water. It will not only hydrate you and flush what needs flushing and keep your cells in optimal fighting shape, it will help your brain counteract negativity.

5. Bathe Daily. The dirty (har) secret of sick days is that most people think, “Well, I’m sick, I’m not going anywhere, no need to bathe.” But even if you’re just going to roll back into bed, first roll into the shower. Use your favorite soaps and potions, visualize the water rinsing the sick off of you.

Keeping Busy

We are dealing with a lot of financial stress right now which isn’t helping my positive mood improvement of my depression but I am finding that as long as I keep myself busy, things don’t feel as bad.

KnyghtMare hit a deer on the way home from bowling Wednesday. He’s fine but it did shake him up quite a bit. The car now needs some body work and thankfully we have full coverage so we only have to come up with the deductible to get it fixed, which will have to be by the end of the year and without a headlight we risk being pulled over and driving at night is not recommended. These winter months where it becomes night by dinnertime suck now without a car that has 2 headights.

I am getting a lot done related to Submissive Guide and I feel great about that. Busy hands and all that.

What I’d  like to start working on is reclaiming my submissive self. I feel like a bit of myself is missing and I need it back. The problem right now is with everything else going on, my personal inner work on submission has been pushed aside. I can do this though.  I’m strong enough.


Waning Luna 1

I weigh 365 lbs. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s a fact so I need to face it. I’m much happier and healthier around 275 lbs or less. That’s a lot of weight to lose and the number is intimidating. But, I know that first thing to do for any challenge is to face it. So here I am.

The largest culprit is that I’m sedentary. I avoid movement. I’m at my computer most of the day and evening with only occasional bursts of activity. That really needs to change. Anyone with as much weight as I have knows that’s not an easy or quick process. So I’m starting with using my Fitbit to track my steps and increase those on a daily basis until I can consistently be above 5,000 steps. I know for many of you, you’ll realize that 5K steps aren’t that much but when I’ve been averaging under 2K for months now, you’ll see what mountain I’m climbing.

I’ve been deeply depressed since April (at least) and I’m finally starting to see the light and want to be normal again. Making sure I’m constantly aware of my healthy goals is one of the things I have begun doing.

Here’s what I’m planning this week for my health. Grocery shopping is done on Wednesdays so some of this is pending a shopping trip.

  • I am eating vegetables at every meal. No excuses. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner will have veggies.
  • I am tracking my food in a log (on Sparkpeople) so that I can learn where I need to adjust calories, carbs and fat.
  • I am boosting my steps to 5K or more each and every day. Right now I’m at 3K so that’s awesome.
  • Every hour  I’m getting up from my computer and doing something else for at least 10 minutes. It’s been housework lately, but anything that forces me to move around is fair game.
I’m not setting any weight goals yet, as I feel my weight will be a secondary focus. Yes, I’m dangerously fat, but I need to focus on something I can see changing right away and my steps and my food habits are something I can be accountable every single day.

The Plan to Think Positively

Over the recent years, my blog became a whiney, complainy place for me.  I would rant and rave over what was going wrong in my life with no attention to the things that were going right. Well, that starts now. I’m making some changes in my life that will hopefully improve my overall mood, help me change my direction in life and get me back on the path I want to be. I have goals that need achieving and dreams to be realized!

If you are an old follower, you’ll notice the change, but I hope it’s a good one. I’m working on me again almost like it was in the beginning of this blog over 12 years ago. You may still get snippets of my life with KnyghtMare, but I’m shifting the focus back to how things impact me positively and the good that is in my life. There is so much to be thankful for and I need to start seeing that.

With that in mind, I’ve come up with a few categories that I’m going to try to narrow my focus with this blog. Let me try to break them down for you.


I need to learn how to be grateful and thankful. It’s a positive thing for many to be able to list what they are grateful in their life for and I want to have that positivity shine through me. That means I’ll be breaking down my gloomy mood to do it.


It goes without saying that I’m unhealthy. I will be talking about my weight and my renewed efforts to get healthy. I may do food logs, weigh ins, exercise reports or whatever else suits my fancy. It’s about being accountable to the one person that I need to be; myself.


We all need things that inspire us. When I see, hear or read something that lifts me up I will share it. I want to document it so that I can refer to it in the future and remember. The world is full of wonders and wisdom.


One of the largest goals for this blog is to recapture my submissive mindset and figure out what I want from submission so that I can be happy, or rather be happy so that I can be submissive. Either way, I’ll be using prompts, exercises, and questions to help me figure out who I want to be. Maybe I’ll be able to one day be asked to submit to KnyghtMare again.

My Thoughts

I have every intention to use this blog to document my thoughts too. Whatever they happen to be, but I will focus on the positive. No negative nelly here. I need to lift myself out of the darkness. No matter how I do it, it has to be with a happy heart and a peace I desire.


Where are the archives?

I’ve moved them to a private location. Starting fresh meant removing the past from public viewing. It’s not ignoring it, but it’s not relevant for this blog anymore.