Today’s 10 Questions:
What was time very well spent this year?
This year, I think the best time spent was working on the new version of Submissive Guide. I’m very happy with the outcome and the resulting compliments from readers has really nailed home that it was a good change. KM is happy with his first version and is already working on the 2nd version (just upgrades). Making the improvements that we did, not only gave me more freedom in what I choose to devote my time to for work, but it also made it easier to maintain, far less stressful on the servers and RESPONSIVE! This is the first time in 8 years that the site has looked good on mobile devices and with over 60% of my readers viewing the site on a tablet or mobile phone that was a serious need. Yay!
What was money very well spent this year?
Hm, this is a tough one because even though we’ve had some great changes in the business, KM hasn’t been able to pick up as much work as he used to so money is still allocated to necessities. I think the best bang for our buck has been with keeping Netflix, Amazon Prime (for video) and Crunchyroll. Just having a variety of TV to watch has saved our sanity many evenings when were so stir crazy and had no available cash to go out.
What are your favorite memories of 2017?
One of my favorite memories was going to see Pentatonix in August at the Illinois State Fair with Lexi. Pentatonix is my all-time favorite singing group and I knew I wanted to see them before Avi left the group. Hanging out with Lexi was wonderful and I do wish we lived closer so that it could happen more often but I really do treasure the time we had. The concert was great too! Lexi is a fan of them as well and we were singing along with everyone else in the stadium.
We also stopped at Lincoln’s tomb on the way home that morning and it was a powerful moment for me; more than I thought it would be. Being at the memorial was something I had always wanted to do. It’s something I’ll keep in my memory forever.
What did you accomplish or complete this year?
Other than the aforementioned new site debut I don’t feel that I accomplished much of anything. It’s been a really tough year with the loss of KM’s collar and the crushing blow of a change in our relationship. Not to mention my sense of helplessness and insecurity surrounding submission and my detachment from it all. I think I’d have to say an accomplishment would be that I stuck it out and didn’t give up. I figured out some of what was causing our issues and I continue to work on them every day with peace and patience and an open mind.
Did you make any progress on long-term goals?
Long term goals? Nope. I’ve had a long long-term goal of losing weight. This is the year, as always, that I hope that changes.
What felt successful about the year, as a whole?
The end of the year is better than the beginning, is that a success? I hope that it continues to improve.
Did you overcome any obstacles or mental blocks this year?
I encountered obstacles, that’s for sure. Have I overcome them? Not yet, but I’m working on them. The first obstacle is the breakdown of our marriage. It didn’t fail, but we were really close to the end for a while. The 2nd large obstacle is the removal of my collar and the realization that I had lost connection with what submission means to me and the purpose of it in my life. It’s still pretty lost but I am working on it because I want it back, so badly.
What did you learn about yourself after all that happened in 2017?
I learned that I’m more resilient than I thought. Much of the late Spring/early Summer I spent in such deep depression that I didn’t think I’d get out of it. I’ve been through a lot of stressful things in my life this year and through all of it, I can see improvement now and I’m not giving up. They have shown me that I’m worth it and I can fight to be the person I’m supposed to be and that even though I didn’t think a change was possible, I can do it.
Who nurtured or supported you most this year?
KnyghtMare did, most definitely. Even though I caused him such stress and grief he was still the one that helped me stand on my own two feet and deal with my issues in a way that was healthy and positive. I can never thank him enough for loving me and trusting me and being there when others would have abandoned me as a lost cause.
Who did you enjoy nurturing and supporting?
I’ve been slowly taking steps into obedience again recently and offering my services to KnyghtMare when I can really connect to them. In October I asked to be his coffee slut again which he agreed to but doesn’t use all the time. I still love making his coffee and bringing it to him. There are a few other things that I’ve asked to start doing again that help me feel more connected to him and hopefully over time I will begin to see my submission in a light that I can embrace once more.