We’ve made considerable progress since KnyghtMare offered his collar again. We’re adding protocol here and there, we’re more playful and flirty. Interactions feel less forced and more natural, more relaxed. I think our relationship is rebuilding itself nicely.
That said, there have been setbacks. And I feel always on the cusp of wishing things would go faster – but that’s probably because things feel so good. When things are good, I want more and more of the good. I have to learn patience. It’s something that I always struggle with.
We’re happy. I’m happy. I’m able to see a future full of intense D/s and moderate protocol and all the fun and kink that he can fill our days with. I don’t think I’ve been happy like this in a very long time.
I’ve been able to open myself up sexually and stop putting imaginary limitations on what is and isn’t sexy, kinky, attractive to me. I’m finding more and more things that I once considered out of my reach or unattractive, to be very interesting and things I want to try at least once, things I’m willing to learn to enjoy for KnyghtMare and things I never thought I’d enjoy. I can’t believe I was so closed off for so long. It had to be really frustrating to KnyghtMare. I only hope I can make it up to him now.
I’ve really thrown myself into Submissive Guide/Kink Network production also. I’m wrapping up work on a huge revision of the most popular ebook on Subguide and it’s large enough for a paperback version! That will make the 2nd physical book available by me for Submissive Guide. It’s an amazing thing to think that I can say I’m a published author now and I have people saying they really enjoy what I’ve produced.
All things appear to be in the positive right now.