Last week KnyghtMare put his new collar on me. It’s a lovely Sterling Silver chain and I couldn’t be happier.
We’ve had a little talk to establish our foundation, a place where everything will build from. I think I needed that talk for a while now because having it gave me a sense of purpose and direction, something I don’t think I’d felt in a long while.
We’re pretty much starting over and the rules and protocol that have been added organically over the past 6 months or so are where we’re starting from. I know what he would like our relationship to look like in broad strokes and I feel like I could definitely fill that role well.
I have a lot of sexy, kinky, playful aspirations that are rolling around in my head and I can’t wait to do them! But I agree with KnyghtMare that we need to have a solid foundation in place before we add to many of the extras on top. I suppose it’s a lot like frenzy. I’ve worked so hard on improving myself and making the steps to be a better person, and then to earn his collar again I just want to dive in feet first and do it all right now!
He’s right to keep me reigned in and my patience will be rewarded.
One of my first added protocol is related to something I requested. On the weekends, when he’s with shah, I feel very disconnected with him and wanted something that would help me feel like I was doing something for him and myself that would connect me with him. So, I now have a daily meditation time in the morning where I am to sit or kneel and focus on being his slave and what that means. He’s left it pretty open-ended for now and I can reflect on anything I’d like during my time in meditation. Once I’ve completed it, I am to tell him that it is finished.
It’s helped. This weekend was the first time I had the opportunity to see if it made me feel more connected to him when we’re apart and while it didn’t close the miles, it did help keep things in perspective and remind me that I’m his slave whether he’s with me or not.
I hope it continues being something that will nurture me.
So, I’m relighting my soul a bit, breathing life into submission that wasn’t there for an extremely long time. I’m finding that there’s so much about myself and how I wish to submit that I had restricted for no reason at all or for the wrong reasons. I’m undoing those chains and seeing where the new road takes me.