lunaKM
Submission
given that you have admitted to not being a naturally submissive person could you explain what draws you to submission
Excellent question and one I’ve answered only to myself several times. Submission is a way for me to have structure and give service back. I love the peace and order I feel in my life when I submit to Master. It all started with sexual submission and masochism and in that I am most definitely [...]
Why Do I Fight?
In a continuation of my previous post, whippedblade asked some very deep questions that I thought I really should try to answer to better understand myself. For those of you who think I should stop analyzing submission and just do it… this IS how I follow through. Anyways, she asks: If submission is what you [...]
This isn’t happening.
It’s been an emotional roller coaster few days here. Master and I tested out the newly made toys last night. I wasn’t sure what to expect from them since it’s been a long time since we’ve done a stand alone pain scene. I knew that I’d have to really keep my body from wanting to [...]
Slave Identity
Here I am again. No new news on my dad. He hasn’t bothered to call me now that I know he’s been admitted to the hospital. He keeps calling my step sister instead of me; which is really starting to bother me. I haven’t gotten a call since this morning from him. Any new news [...]
Still In Trouble
Last night Master and I had a huge discussion. I’ve had a very bad attitude this week and he said he is still mad at me for lying and is upset that I seem to show no remorse for it this week. He explained that last week was better and I was more submissive then. [...]
Headaches
I’ve suffered a bout of headaches this week. Monday I had a massive migraine in the middle of the night that took hours to calm down to a level that I could sleep. The rest of this week has been a number of smaller headaches that I just can’t seem to make go away. Medication [...]
Way and Manner of Obedience
I’ve been reading the book Slavecraft by a grateful slave to do a review for Submissive Guide. It is a collection of essays written by one slave about his exploration in deeper submission and servitude. I’m finding myself growing as a submissive in my own relationship and feel that I could develop further just by [...]
Sexual Disinterest
Yesterday was a hard day for Master. I wasn’t interested in giving him a blow job, I just couldn’t find it in me to want to do it. He told me that he wanted one early on and when I got home from working on SubmissiveGuide he asked for one just as I came in [...]
Revamped the Site
This week is going by relatively fast. I worked really hard on Submissive Guide yesterday and today I need to do a bit of housework. Master and I have been working through a few things as far as our dynamic goes. As I mentioned before, Master wants to be more consistent in his enforcement of [...]
I’m Not Liking This New Size
Weigh In: 351 I’ve gained 3 pounds since last week. I’m pissed, depressed and annoyed. We may have only done 2 days of exercise last week, but I watched what I ate pretty well and increased my water intake by 1 liter. I’ve never been above 350. I feel humiliated and unhealthy. My knees are [...]
Feeling Sexy and Serving
We had a pretty good munch today. A class on Spanking and Impact play went really well I think. Master was nervous as always. He gets sweaty palms, it’s so cute. I love his little nerves. He’s so smart and knows what he needs to know. I know that with every class he gets more [...]
In a Funk
Master is dealing with me in a bad funk. I just don’t want to do anything, I am not sexual feeling at all and it’s grating on his nerves. He asked me to do his foot massage and I really don’t want to do it. That doesn’t mean I won’t do it, but my heart [...]
Together Alone
Today Master and I spent the day doing our own thing. I worked on Submissive Guide a bit, putzed on the internet, watched movies and he went into the bedroom to read a book, play Eve-Online and generally both of us were lazy. It was great. I’m always amazed at these days when we can [...]
Going on a Diet
Not just the same ole’ diet I’ve been trying for years; that’s getting boring and while I do intend to lose weight and work hard at exercising, that’s not the diet I’m talking about. In a previous post, BootPig commented about finding my focus, and making sure I have the right things in the front [...]
Phat Submission
Here we are on a Monday where I might actually do a Mediation Monday. It’s been a long time so here’s what normally happens. I talk about something about my dynamic or relationship that might be interesting to others. I do try to get questions from people for these, but I’m going to have to [...]
Love and D/s
Master and I had a little discussion today that I thought was interesting. I told Master that I didn’t think that we’d survive as a couple if the D/s went away and all that was left was love. He agreed. Our love is a fabulous bonus to our relationship, but I know that we’d be [...]
Our Ideal Relationship
Master and I are trying to settle into a routine for my new position in life. We had a short talk on the way to the munch yesterday about how he’s adjusting and what is expected of me until he is ready and willing to move my protocol and expectations further into our ideal relationship. [...]
Newly Discovered Blogs
[ndb] shaohua sweet surrender Dart’s Domain laurie’s ramblings of a madwoman She Obeys Insatiable Desire Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasy SpankedHortic daughter of the sea Visiting my Muse
Progress With This Week’s Lesson and Love Moments
This week’s slave lesson was meditation. I’m not really good at it, but I have spent once a day just resting my mind. I’ve gone about 45 seconds before a though pops in and I have to force it out. I generally don’t last more than 5 mins before I’m completly relaxed. I’ve done this [...]
Sex Work
I am a failure. Something that appears to come easy for someone else I am still spending so much time trying to find my way. I’m talking about pleasuring Master. Countless times I talk about my issues with blow jobs. But really it’s all pleasure that is for Master that I have something wrong. Master [...]
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