lunaKM
struggle
Why Do I Fight?
In a continuation of my previous post, whippedblade asked some very deep questions that I thought I really should try to answer to better understand myself. For those of you who think I should stop analyzing submission and just do it… this IS how I follow through. Anyways, she asks: If submission is what you [...]
The Monster
Yesterday afternoon Master took control and dragged me into the bedroom by my hair. He was very aggressive and didn’t take no for an answer. I was perplexed because all day we’d been having issues discussing the sex mood we have been experiencing. He had a dark look in his face as he forced his [...]
Slave Identity
Here I am again. No new news on my dad. He hasn’t bothered to call me now that I know he’s been admitted to the hospital. He keeps calling my step sister instead of me; which is really starting to bother me. I haven’t gotten a call since this morning from him. Any new news [...]
Still out of Balance
It was pouring outside as we drove home from the store tonight. Master got all quiet and when I asked him what was going on he said he wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about it. I reminded him that if it were me that that response wouldn’t fly. He opened up a little and [...]
Service Without Restrictions
One of the big things I’m to work on with our new start is my setting restrictions on my service. Most of these are in the form of ‘I don’t feel like it, or I don’t want to’ but I know I’m also likely to put things off and that restricts my service too. I [...]
Revamped the Site
This week is going by relatively fast. I worked really hard on Submissive Guide yesterday and today I need to do a bit of housework. Master and I have been working through a few things as far as our dynamic goes. As I mentioned before, Master wants to be more consistent in his enforcement of [...]
Seven Things Meme
Dracona tagged me and then thekittenpup tagged me… I guess that means I should do this Rules: 1. Link to your original tagger and list these rules in your post 2. Share 7 facts about yourself in the post 3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post, leave their names & links to [...]
Take Me Anyway
I read a post on persephone’s blog today that really had me thinking about my own desires. She talks about consensual non-consent and a rape fantasy that her boyfriend and her did one night. Yes it was hot to read, but it also made me think about the times that Master takes me when I’m [...]
Five More
I prepared for play as I always do; a shower, picking music and mental preparation. Play with Master is always an adventure into my own self whether it be from pain or pleasure or both. I don’t know what to expect this time as I enter the room. Master is there, dressed in tight blue [...]
Monday is Here
Today I will plan my morning routine and how much time I want to devote to Submissive Guide. I want to do the housework in the morning because that is when I feel most productive and it should be my priority. I’m shooting for having all the daily housework done within 2 hours so that [...]
Channeling
Thank you for asking another question for March question month! How can I best channel either the submissive side or the dominant side at any given time and in any given situation? It seems to be the same struggle as with feeling strained to be submissive when you don’t “feel” it, but it also seems [...]
Turning Up the Heat
I started out Valentines Day yesterday with a night of cock worship. I had Master lay on the bed in our room with just a light and some soft music. I set my goal to tease him and really give him what he’s been asking for. I used the music as a timer somewhat. I’m [...]
Master’s Request for a Service Top
A new development in our sexual relationship has been my serving as Master’s top. Something that seemed to me like a paradox, but from what I’ve read it really can work. So I’m going to make it work. I’ve not met anyone else who has a relationship like ours so I can’t associate this to [...]
An attempt
Master, being the tricky man that he is, caught me in a struggle with myself the other night. Since I can’t masturbate, I rely on him for orgasms and he knows that. Well, he had me so close, so on the edge that I was begging to be allowed release, and he throws a boomerang [...]
The Spirit of Christmas
I’ve been a naughty girl. I hurt a really good friend and someone I look up to. The webmaster of Taking-It-Off took action that I most likely deserved. I’m not going into details and dredging up my mistakes. I hope that I can rebuild some sort of relationship that will be full of strength and [...]
Mediation Monday: Disagreements, Arguments and Fights
When I gave the BDSM presentation this fall to the Human Sexuality class, one of the questions asked was, ‘How do you make up from fights?” I actually had to pause because Master and I don’t fight. Really, I don’t just ignore that part of our life here on this blog; there really is none [...]
Slave Training Lesson #4: Self-Reflective Impulses
The following exercise is to help develop a self-reflective mindset. Write whatever comes to mind first, answers are not carved in stone, and will be analzyed later in training. For now just write. Exercise: Complete the following sentences. I imagine myself as a slave being able to…serve Master completely and peacefully with my heart and [...]
Ending again….
I’m so fat. I’m annoyed and frustrated. It’s my own damn fault but I have to get going again and I have to admit I can’t do it alone anymore. Master wants to help me so he’s going to exercise with me. It’s going to be hard because Master hasn’t liked exercising before. I’m also [...]
Structure
I thrive on structure. I like to have things set up with time frames and I like to have enough time to get things done. I don’t do well with stressful deadlines or too much to try to get completed in a short timeframe. I also love to-do lists. Generally my to-do lists are way [...]
Returning to Strict
Master has begun to return to the strict man I know him to be. He told me last night during dinner that he’s been lenient since we moved in August. Now he is returning to how he prefers to be. I’m silently giddy that he will be correcting me frequently, tightening the reins and perhaps [...]
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