Yesterday after a rocky start to the day Master and I reconnected. We reconnected a lot! Heh.

During one of our hot steamy reconnections my mind kept screaming thoughts to him, things I wanted him to do to me. For the most part I tend to keep these things silent. Besides, if he’s playing with my clit for example, and I get this urge to have him grind his whole hand against my pubic bone it’s just not something I’m going to tell him because he’s having a great time doing what he’s doing and I’m not NOT enjoying it. It’s hard to explain really.

Last night we played with the fantasy I have of more than one guy. Master was filling in for all of them of course. In the heat of a really good moment I had one of those silent screams that I wanted him to do something. I wanted him to make me suck his dick. It was part of my fantasy usually and so I licked my lips and looked at him. I said it, I actually voiced what I wanted him to do and OMG it was hot!

I’m not sure what keeps me from voicing these things, if there is some residual feeling that I’d be topping from the bottom or that it’s embarrassment and shame that I’m such a cock hungry slut at times. Master likes to make me blush by taking note of my slutty behavior and having me repeat him. It’s a hot uncomfortable feeling.  I get that same feeling when the inner voice screams for something that would make me even more a slut.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being Master’s slut, but when I find myself aiding the very thing that makes me embarrassed I keep it hiding. Does anyone else feel embarrassed by their own sexual desires as I do? Probably, but it’s also encouraged in our dynamic. He loves humiliating me sexually and gets off on making me repeat his dirty talk, pointing out how wet I’ve gotten or how loud I’m moaning. And I love it.

So, do I try to voice those inner screams more often and make myself even more slutty? I’m sure Master will ask me to do so. And I will have to break down that barrier and try.

–luna

Related posts:

1. More than Anal Training
2. Cock Worship

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