BDSM is Love » class

Not experienced enough

lunaKM — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 04:06:33 +0000

People on Fetlife are judging me without even knowing me. Okay so I’ve not had 20 years of BDSM experience but the viewpoints and opinions I do have can help people. The people say that since I don’t have a degree in therapy or haven’t yet had classes in lifecoaching that I shouldn’t try to be a mentor to submissives. And yet I see it all the time.

I asked for people to give me their input into having online courses that people would pay a small fee to access. Practically a resounding hell no, why would we pay for something we can get for free? Um, people do it all the time.

I’m looking to start a life coach business attached to Submissive Guide but let me tell you that all the crap I’ve heard today makes me want to not do that. I don’t know why I let people get to me and Master says I need to not take things so personally. I just do, that’s the way I am.

So, 5 years of intense, immersed living doesn’t graduate me out of novice status into a more experienced role. *sigh* BDSM isn’t rocket science, you don’t need a degree to be a good listener and be able to communicate your thoughts well.

Submissive Guide has grown to be twice as large as The Iron Gate and even larger still than this blog. People are reading it and enjoying it. I just want to turn it into a business. I’m so irked at how people judge without thinking.

Am I really not ‘qualified’ to help submissives fresher on the path than I am?

–luna

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Revamped the Site

lunaKM — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 16:35:51 +0000

This week is going by relatively fast. I worked really hard on Submissive Guide yesterday and today I need to do a bit of housework. Master and I have been working through a few things as far as our dynamic goes. As I mentioned before, Master wants to be more consistent in his enforcement of my rules and his commands. Obedience is important to him, but he’s finding some of this Dom stuff to be hard for him. I think it’s time for him to take a step up the Dom Mountain. I’m sure I’ll be struggling myself once he finds where he is at in his journey.

I’m working on myself too. Master says that my submission would deepen once he gets his role and behaviors refined. So I guess we are in a holding pattern. Of course, I am still learning about myself and what I want to offer him. The soul searching has really come about because of the Guide. I feel so much closer to mmy submission when I work on the site. Connecting to the world view and submission.

The Blog

I’ve changed my blog theme (again) if you are interested in checking it out. This one comes with a few new things I want to showcase. I have a lifestream page that has my twitter and RSS and all the other activity online that I can share with you. I love it, and find it really cool.

I have a weight loss page as well, that focuses on my goal to lose weight and feel better, healthy. Hopefully with all of you reading my struggles I can keep going and make it though my excess weight.

Next I found a really cool plug in that hosts my library. I’m adding only my BDSM books, but I’m able to add reviews and rate them and stuff. You can see it in the right side. I love it. OH and if you buy one of the books through the links I have, I get a little kick back.

Lastly I have a request. There is a box at the top of this blog that I can’t think of what to put in it. If you know of a cool WordPress widget that would be awesome there, let me know!

–luna

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Feeling Sexy and Serving

lunaKM — Sun, 31 May 2009 04:13:52 +0000

We had a pretty good munch today. A class on Spanking and Impact play went really well I think. Master was nervous as always. He gets sweaty palms, it’s so cute. I love his little nerves. He’s so smart and knows what he needs to know. I know that with every class he gets more confident. I love him so much.

If anyone remembers that I was doing Miss Abernathy’s Slave Training last year? I stopped abruptly because my ex-job took my book when I was fired and destroyed it. Well I got a new copy so I’m thinking I can get back into it soon. I’m going to have to go back one lesson and get back into mediation. I’m doing a lot of reading in a few new books about submission and slavery. Some are for Submissive Guide and while I know they will come in handy for that site, they are helping me too.

I’m working on my own training, my interalizing submission as an erotic feeling. That’s a goal to look for! I’m not sure how I’ll do that, but I’m wanting to make it pleasurable for my service. Master would enjoy it too. Right now, I like to see him smile and tell me he’s proud of me but I just get that lovely feeling. I just want to get that sexy feeling now too.

One of my big hang ups is that I don’t like my body right now. It’s evident in almost everything I do. I say it a lot too. I’m not really sure how to change my attitude except to exercise and eat right. Lose the weight and feel better. I must be sexy inside as well as out.

–luna

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Questioning Community

lunaKM — Tue, 12 May 2009 03:49:29 +0000

After another munch where we questioned where Master and I really fit in I think it’s simple to say that we don’t. We aren’t players, we aren’t one of the cool kids, we aren’t swingers who are kinky and we aren’t drinkers. It kinda grated on us and it was commented to a friend of ours that the line in the room was drawn between the traditionalists and the avant garde. We’re too into 24/7, protocol and rules for that bunch.

The group Master and I run has set the bar high as far as educational opportunities and social activities goes. We have mini-events every month where people can have a discussion, a class or workshop, perhaps a demo and then a munch. If we had someone willing to continue the event it could go into a bar meet later. We don’t have play parties and we will never be play party focused. There are plenty of party opportunies at other groups in the area. Education and information are where our group excels. We will bring interested persons in and it will be a safe place to learn. Not a party group, not a drinking social group.

I’m just irked with how I feel about another almost wasted Saturday night. I say almost because we did enjoy our time with Sir Areli and always leave wishing we could stay longer.

I had tea with a new friend of mine. She is new to the BDSM community and I think we hit it off well. We talked about all sorts of things and I may have found someone to do the pictures I was looking for, for a project of mine. That could be exciting. I really enjoyed myself and I hope she did too.

Master is deciding whether he wants to attend regional/national events or not. Currently they do not appeal to him. I’d love to go to them. I’m hungry for more information, exposure to new people and it was awesome. I’ll just have to wait and see what he decides.

–luna

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In a Funk

lunaKM — Tue, 05 May 2009 02:59:58 +0000

Master is dealing with me in a bad funk. I just don’t want to do anything, I am not sexual feeling at all and it’s grating on his nerves. He asked me to do his foot massage and I really don’t want to do it. That doesn’t mean I won’t do it, but my heart isn’t in it. I’m actually horny but not in the mood for sex; how weird is that?

I’m troubled by my odd mood. Master sees it a lot lately and I’m not sure why I get this way. I could blame the depression, the hypothyroidism, the stress over my step-mom but really when it comes down to it, the problem is me. I know I can find a way through the fog and feel happy with my submission and the joy will come back.

I spent Sunday cleaning the living room in a methodical way. It’s the cleanest it’s been since…. god I don’t know when. The bedroom was supposed to be today, but Master and I woke up so tired that we didn’t get anything done. I’ll do it tomorrow.

I moved all my CDs onto the raid in MP3 format so I won’t use them anymore. Master is working on putting the DVDs we have onto the raid too. All of this will be stored in the closet then so that we can decrease the clutter we have around here. Last month Master allowed me to get a Sony Digital Reader. It’s like a Kindle only not I have 140 books on there right now, all classics. I am sending all of my classics that I have in physical form that I have on the digital to my best friend. This way there will be less book clutter. I’m feeling better about moving up in technology and removing clutter.

I’ve also started working on recycling in the kitchen… cleaning glass, plastic and tin, saving milk jugs and returning bottles. My next task once I get comfortable at this I think will be to make more things homemade. Being on a diet is a little difficult with that but I’m sure I can figure it out.

Master and I are dieting. I’m starting my second week of South Beach tomorrow. For Master, I’m just watching what he eats, giving him healthier options and he’s doing well. He is doing less coffee now too, which was his own choice. What’s frustrating right now is that the scale I use says I’m beyond what it can register. After a week of dieting I could hope for something in range, but I don’t know. I’ll know tomorrow morning when I weigh.

–luna

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Sexy on the First of May

lunaKM — Fri, 01 May 2009 14:54:33 +0000

Lexi at Behind The Collar awarded me a Sexy Blogger Award! I’m so touched! She said, “She’s confident and and so devoted to her service. I envy her.” That’s really sweet, really. I am devoted, but only because it makes me so happy to be so true to myself. Thank you Lexi. You are awesome too, and very hot!

So, accepting the award comes with rules.

“This award comes with some rules. You are to list 5 sexy things about yourself and pass it on to 4 other people.”

I know I can do this.

5 Sexy Things About Me

My new nipple piercings! They make me feel so sexy because my nipples stay out and feel perkier since they don’t invert and hide. They are also more sensitive to touch; something I had been wishing would happen for a long time. I can’t wait for them to heal a bit so that Master can play with them too!
My eyes. I have baby blues. Youcan see them in the pic up a the top of this blog. I’m constantly finding ways to enhance the vividness so that people can see them. My next step I think will be contacts. I wear glasses and they get hidden pretty easily.
I’m comfortable with my body. That’s not to say that I like my body right now but I’m comfortable sitting around naked or mostly nude and can not be ubber concious that I’m very obese. I do imagine myself making it to be a size 18/20 as I was in college when I thought I was so very fat. Odd how that works. As long as I imagine it, I know I can get there.
I want to help. I love to help people and that’s why I’ve started a site dedicated to doing that. It’s my baby and I feel wonderful doing that.
My friends! I know this doesn’t seem to be about me, but if it weren’t for my friends I’d not feel as sexy as I do. They remind me that I am special (and in some cases famous).

The 4 Sexy People With Blogs

Sir Areli – She is an awesome friend and a sexy Dominant. I can’t help but be amazed at how she handles all the world throws at her and she still sparkles.

CarrieAnn – Have you seen her clips for sale yet? She’s hot hot hot!

Suze – I lust after her breasts and she knows people do… that’s why they are all over her blog.

Scarlet Lotus – She makes me proud to be a woman of size. Her thoughts and passions have my transfixed.

As most of you know, it is the First of May. I’d like anyone who can to go out and have sex outdoors for me, as Iowa is not kind for outdoor play today… brrr! If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch this: First of May by Jonathan Coulton

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HNT 4-30-09

lunaKM — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 18:50:33 +0000

On Monday I got my nipples pierced. It was a surprise really. I had been thinking about it for a long time and Master had mentioned it almost 2 years ago. At the time I said, “maybe later.” Well later came on Monday when we walked into the shop just to find out how much it was, found out it was cheaper than I thought and so we did it. My innie nipplies now have outties!

–luna

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HNT 4-16-09

lunaKM — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 20:21:15 +0000

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HNT 4-02-2009

lunaKM — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 17:23:47 +0000

What do you think of this week’s HNT?

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Going on a Diet

lunaKM — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 13:53:17 +0000

Not just the same ole’ diet I’ve been trying for years; that’s getting boring and while I do intend to lose weight and work hard at exercising, that’s not the diet I’m talking about.

In a previous post, BootPig commented about finding my focus, and making sure I have the right things in the front of my mind. My submission to Master and learning to be a stay at home submissive. While in our life this also means time to work on Submissive Guide and The Iron Gate, lately these online activities have taken the bulk of my time. I have had some inspiration from a guest post on Twitip.com about Going on a Twitter Diet. I’m not sure how well I’ll do it, but just like any diet there will be difficult points, I may cheat and in the end I will be a better person for it.

My first goal is to weed out my RSS reader of blogs I don’t read. My habit has been to add the newly discovered blogs every month to my reader, then only to find that after a few months or so I have about 10 blogs that just sit in the unread list and because I’m a fan of a clear list, I just mark them read. No more. If I am not interested in reading them and they sit more than a week with unread posts, they go bye bye. Currently I have over 300 blogs in my reader. I regularly follow maybe 20 of them. Others I like so I know they won’t go, but I can tell you there are blogs there that I’ve not read for months. Cleaning we go.

Next I’m going to take a look at my twitter. I’m going to evaluate the 254 people I’m currently following and decide 2 things. Am I following them just to get their notices of new posts? If so, move them to my RSS reader (they then become part of the vetting process mentioned above). Are they services that I can follow in other ways or don’t need to follow at all? Who need to follow Barak Obama now, or CNN news? I can get that information elsewhere. I’m honestly going to pick over every single person that I’m following and decide if they are valuable enough to me to keep in the list. I will be doing this with @lunakm and with @subguide. I’m going to utilize TweetDeck better to sort our the tidbits of information I really enjoy. Starting with links. Then make groups of friends and people of influence. That way I don’t have to feel bad about not reading my entire stream.

Lastly, I’m working on a schedule that will allow me time during the day to work on my websites after my housework is complete. I already have a housework schedule so that won’t need to be made, but making sure I don’t get sidetracked with the websites I’ve put so much work into before I’m done with what Master requires of me will be a bonus for my focus as Master’s submissive.

It’s not going to be easy, this blog is my personal thoughts and feelings and really does help Master see who I am and where I’m struggling so that he can help. I’m sure he’ll want me to continue this and I won’t be stopping it. Just be sure I’ll be living it before I write about it. I’ll make what’s most important to me, top priority. Now on to the diet!

The actual diet diet is starting. I went to the store and bought healthier options of food for both of us. Master is pushing back a bit when I ask him what healthy items he wants for lunch, but he’s going with it. He wants to tone up and I want to lose weight. It’s the same track. Exercise needs to become one of the priorities as Master’s submissive and I know I have time to do it, so that’s what I’ll be doing. I’m aiming for 4 times a week, building to 6. Perhaps I could lose 10% of my weight in 5 months. We’ll see if that goal is too lofty.

–luna

PS: I shut off the Lifestream posts. It’s nice to know what I’m doing, but not necessary to hide all my actual posts in. No more of that!

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