Continued efforts using the Training with Ms Abernathy workbook.

This lesson is about starting a journal to talk about the training I am undergoing and anything that needs to be revealed to my trainer (Master) that I am having difficulty expressing. Ms Abernathy recommends a hand written journal and I have one of those for stressful times or for things I don’t want to say to Master. It’s my completely private journal. However, for this task, why not use what I’m already using.  I’m going to have to say that I’m already excelling at this task as this blog is almost 7 years old. The lesson goes on to recommend that I say my affirmation prior to and immediately after writing in my journal to help me to focus on what I should be writing. If you might recall, my affirmation from lesson 1 is:

I choose to live my life in submission and service to Master.

I think about this mantra a lot, however I’ve never consciously said it prior to anything. I know and understand the value of doing so, so I may add this to my already growing self-training list and see how it goes.

The next exercise in this lesson is one that I am not going to do. It says it’s for slaves that want to start voice training and I too will be doing some voice training but…

the lesson says to stop capitalizing I and then later stop addressing myself in the first person. Master and I abhor altered English grammar and thus will not be doing that part of voice training. Besides I think, for me, it would be silly to say “this slut has washed the dishes, Master” type of thing. So… on to the next lesson which will begin basic voice training.

–lunaKM

It’s been over 2 years since I picked up the lessons in Ms Abernathy’s book again but it’s about time I consider where I need to be as Master’s slave (as I struggle still to identify as such) and where I want to grow and develop my skills. I am going to attempt, yet again, to do these lessons and others that I have in The Path of Service by Christina Parker (wedding gift from Jack Rinella’s slave Patrick) and The Submissive Activity Book by Shannon Reilly.

In lesson #8 I have to start to become more aware of the world around me. As the book says, a lot of us learn to tune out the world and lose focus on that which is around us. In this lesson I should start to pay more attention to the non-verbal clues that exist in my everyday interactions.

One activity is to pay attention when a server introduces themselves and then use their name when requesting or thanking them for something. I’ve mentioned this very thing to Master in the past and he liked it so now I just need to do it. We won’t be doing much outside the apartment before the wedding rush, but I’m sure this will become an expected protocol/rule once I start doing it because Master likes it when I’m polite and aware of others and this is right up that alley.

The second activity I will begin doing when I’m out to work the next time at a cafe. In this activity I will be closing my eyes and using my other senses to try to key into the people around me. I am to try to describe the people around me using these senses and then compare them with what I see to understand how the other senses help build an impression of people. This one is likely to be interesting and I look forward to giving it a shot this week sometime.

I did a search on Google Books for one of the suggested reading that I was interested in, only to find that the only library near me to have it is at my alma mater 70 miles away. I’d have to buy it and I’m not so sure I want to do that. Oh well.

So, ultimately while I’m on lesson #8, I have to wait until we are more extroverted and out in public to do it. I’ll have to watch for opportunities to practice the activities soon.

–lunaKM

This lesson is about obedience. Reading the lesson there are a few exercises to do throughout the week. The one is to begin practicing mediation. Here’s the description:

Sit comfortably with your spine straight. You may choose to sit in a chair or cross-legged on teh floor, as long as you can maintain the position for at least twenty minutes. Do not lie down, as this posture encourages drowsiness.

Now, close your eyes, and draw your attention to your breath. Observe how the breath enters your nostrils as you inhale and exits as you exhale. Focus your awareness on the point where the breath enters and exits. If thoughts or feelings surface – and they will – simply return your attention to your breath. Do not judge or follow your thoughts; simply return to the breath. Count ten full breaths (in and out). When you are finished, slowly become aware of your surroundings. When you are ready, open your eyes.

I’m supposed to try this every day for a week. I’m going to try it right now. The direction is that as you persist you will be able to shut out the thoughts that come in. “Most submissives find it very difficult to hold their bodies still for any length of time, but this is a vital skill for a slave.” (Ms Abernathy) Wow I find this to be so true for me! I’m really hoping that the meditation will help me just sit without a lot of fidgeting.

….

Then, for the next activity, which I’m not going to do exactly, requires an alarm watch. I’m supposed to stop every hour and pay attention to my physical posture. I’m supposed to assess my state and correct it so that I’m relaxed. Then restart. Every hour. I think I’m going to try to do something similar to that. I’ll have to coordinate that with Master.

Once I have an inner awareness then I’m to work outwardly. That’s the next lesson.

–luna

I’ve been poked about not doing the lessons anymore. I know I’ve not done a lesson in a month. I swear I’ll get back into them. If you are following along with me, I hope to do the next one this week sometime. Stay tuned!

–luna

This lesson is all about writing a training contract between you and your trainer. Since I am doing this alone, the book suggests writing a plan of action or purpose statement. I don’t intend to make it fancy or anything. In fact, I have an idea for a basic one.

I, lunaKM, pledge to carry out the lessons within the Training with Miss Abernathy book in a timely manner and will not perform any of the tasks or activities without full focus and intent.

I will endeavor to learn all that I can about my personal submission so that I can be a better submissive to Master and provide more anticipatory and effortless service to him.

I will work to achieve a high level of order and cleanliness of his home and his submissive so that no matter where he is, he is surrounded by beauty.

I will use what I have learned from my own experiences to help other submissives that may ask for him assistance and will keep a humble attitude when asked for my opinion on these experiences.

I will endeavor to expand my horizons on activities and tasks I may not be completely interested in if I can see a use for them in Master’s home.

What would you put in your statement of purpose if you were carrying out the training?

In this lesson I get to learn all about the risks I bring with me into the training program. These are all a part or growth and development.

First, relationships…

Rate your responses to the following statements. Use a scale of 1-10 where 1 means ‘never’ or ‘absolutely not’ and 10 means ‘always’ or most definitely.’

• I am most comfortable when in a monogamous relationship. 10
• I enjoy feeling helpless or ‘out of control’ sometimes. 4
• I am attracted to members of my own gender. 5
• I am uncomfortable if I don’t know what my partner is thinking. 8
• My family knows about my interest in D/s and they’re all right with it. 5
• My friends know about my interest in D/s and their supportive of my choices. 8
• If my neighbors found out about my interest in D/s, it wouldn’t bother them in the least. 6
• My therapist is comfortable discussing my interest in D/s and seems to know something about consensual BDSM. 0 – I don’t have a therapist.

Work…

Describe your current job. In what ways do you imagine slavehood might affect your work? If your employer or co-workers found out about your interest in D/s, what would most likely be the outcome?

If you quit your job today, where would you stand financially?

In my current job I manage and perform customer service for a company’s printer/copier/scanner fleet. I interact with users through all sorts of medium and help them with printing and copying issues, make sure the printers have basic maintenance and call service on ones I can not repair. I also provide reporting to managers on the printing volumes and use of the machines.

Slavehood affects my work only in how I have learned to interact with people. I’m far more polite than I used to be, I’m more patient with people who are upset and I can think ahead in situations that might require solutions.

If my employer or co-workers found out about my interest in BDSM I think I may be fired. I’m not really sure. It’s not something I want to explore in much depth. My boss thinks he knows me quite well so perhaps I could be okay as long as it ‘didn’t interrupt my work’. I have had co-workers notice my triskeli hanging in my car and came out to tell me they knew what it meant. Quite interesting.

If I quit my job today we’d be struggling to stay afloat somewhat. Master would begin working 40 hour weeks, which he isn’t now and I’d be looking for ways to make money and stay happy in the mean time. I don’t know how I would cope with not working, as I feel a bit helpless when I’m not working.

Lastly, health…

Activity: Acquire a copy of your medical history. Make a list of medications that you use. Date the list and add it to your medical history file. Be sure to update the list as needed.

I need to do this yet. I go back to the Dr in February. I will see if I can get a copy then.

Activity 2: If you have not had a thorough physical for more than 3 years, schedule one.

I had one in June.

Exercise: Answer the following questions in detail and be scrupulously honest. It is vital that your trainer have this information to help maintain your personal safety. If you are without a trainer, consider the implications of your answers. Would a lifestyle change or professional assistance make it easier for you to serve?

• Do you have any allergies? Yes, I’m allergic to ivory soap, evergreen and some deodorants, detergents and washing liquids. I’m also allergic to codeine and oxycodone.
• Do you have any dietary restrictions? Are you vegetarian or vegan? No, I don’t.
• Do you have any chronic illnesses or injuries that trouble you? What sort of treatment do you use? I’m currently battling depression and I have hypothyroidism that causes me to have a drain of energy with even the most basic tasks right now. I’m on synthroid to start to balance that out. I also have a tense left shoulder that restricts how long it can be put under tension.

• Do you wear eyeglasses or contact lens? A hearing aid? I wear eyeglasses all the time.
• Do you use any drugs (including alcohol and tobacco) recreationally? What and how often? No. I’ve never used anything.
• Are you currently struggling with an addiction? No.
• Are you aware of any body image issues that trouble you? Of course. I’m quite obese and feel constantly aware of what other people see when they look at me. I hate the discomfort I’m always in when sitting and don’t like to look like I’m stuggling at things that should be easy. I’ll generally ignore my body’s warning and do it anyway to keep from being embarrassed.
• Are you clean and/or sober? For how long? Clean.
• Are you in recovery from an addiction other than alcohol or drugs? For how long? N/a
• Did you suffer any abuse (physical, verbal, psychological, sexual, spiritual..) as a child? Yes, my parents were great at verbal and emotional abuse. My father was physical with me. I grew up with it constantly.
• Have you suffered such abuse as an adult? No.
• How have you learned to heal these wounds? I’ve conciously erased much of my childhood. I try to recall things and can’t remember much. Pretty much like shutting the door and never looking back.
• If you have a history of abuse, can you identify any ‘triggers’ (words, sounds, objects, situations) that might cause you trauma now? Yes, belts, quick sudden unexpected movements, raised voices.
• Do you have any history of abusing others? If so, what steps have you taken to change this pattern? No.