Master and I have had talks about adding more ritual and structure into our relationship that would help with my focus and mindset. I mentioned a few things to him recently and he told me he wanted me to blog about them and think about them so that he can decide whether he likes the ideas or not.

One of these seems to come up frequently in my mind. Those positions you can read in almost any BDSM fantasy. The ones that exude submission and service. The positions held for long periods of time only if you are some skinny Barbie doll used to kneeling and sitting still.

I’ve read all about slave positions. I know that not every relationship does them, nor do they do the same ones. There are pages and pages of links about submissive positions and how they are to be done.

Part of me, a strong part, craves to have some set positions. I know that the positions that Master would select for me would be ones I can do physically and would enhance the beauty of my body and my role. Master has already expressed that he likes when I get up from the floor to turn my back to him and get up so that my ass is up in his direction for a time while I rise. I have to get into the habit of that.

Some of the ideas I have for positions follow what I’ve read/seen but others don’t.

For example:

At Rest: I see this as a seated position, on the floor with my legs folded Indian-style. I’d have my hands rested on my thighs and my head would be level. I’m thinking this would be a good position in a chair or short stool also as long as I can not fidget and keep my eyes from wandering around at what’s going on.

Attention: Standing or seated or kneeling for short period where I’d have my hands behind my back either behind my neck or clasped lower back. My head would be level and eyes down.

Present: Standing with my feet wider than hip distance apart, my hands clasped above my head with my chest out, eyes level or down.

Thigh: When on the floor or kneeling and given permission to caress Master I’d love to have a position where I rest my cheek on his thigh in love and adoration, and a sign of my submission to him.

Beg: Used for asking permission or begging — Kneel and then lower chest to floor, weight on elbows, hands turned up. Face/head should not touch floor. Once acknowledged, rise to attention and beg or ask permission.

These are just a few of the ones I tend to imagine doing or learning in some capacity.

–luna

In previous posts I’ve talked about the speech training that Master has me learning. He’s finally come closer to what he wants me to do, and I’ve been practicing it as much as possible.

It’s been a hard trip, but I’ve slowly been changing how I say things to make it more like seeking permission instead of commanding or just telling him. Getting gas after work used to be something like this; “I’m going to the gas station after work.” It’s now, “Master, may I go to the gas station after work?” Every situation like that has had to change. Sometimes it works and other times I get the look. I’m getting better at correcting myself before the sentence gets too far and I know he sees that.

I guess part of why this is difficult for me is that I’m not that good at asking for what I want, it’s more like I tell someone. Since Master has taken over more of my life I’ve had to give up the command control. It’s a natural progression and one that I’m not fighting often. But I have gotten testy a time or two about being corrected. Hopefully nothing that gets written in Master’s black book.

Speaking of Master’s book, it’s seen action this week. I didn’t blog yesterday like I was supposed to, which is another reason I’m blogging right now; I have to make up the missed post and pay for it tomorrow too. I’m also about 20 minutes shy of exercise for this week. Hopefully I get moving and do it tomorrow. I’ve done 30 minutes today. Next week is going to be hard because I hope to bump it up to 80 minutes. I have a feeling that I’m going to struggle hard to get there.

–luna

Master has suggested and then implemented a new method for my apology to him for forgetting a rule or any other infraction. He wants me to recite a phrase as an apology. “I was a bad girl Master, I’m sorry.” It’s something that is mildly humiliating to me and god I don’t want to get into trouble in public. He won’t allow a minor change in public. I hope I don’t mess up.I believe that having to apologize in this manner will actually aide in my self correction whenever I fail at a requirement. Generally these are forgetting my p’s and q’s, not opening doors for Master and other smaller infractions. I still feel that the bigger issues will get more of a correction than a phrase and as of yet I haven’t had to find that out.

This new method of correction for Master started about a week ago on a whim I think. He asked me to repeat it and knowing him saw the blush in my face and decided that it was a good way to apologize from now on. Right away he told me that his wish was to have my say that every time I need to apologize to him.

To give you a scenario… I forgot to hold the door for Master as we left the bank the other day and he cleared his throat and asked what I was supposed to say. I turned red and in a rushed whisper I said, “I’ve been a bad girl Master. I’m sorry.” Of course that didn’t cut it, but goodness there were other people around! I hurriedly got into the car shut the door and then said it louder and slower for him. “I’ve been a bad girl Master. I’m sorry.” Then went on to profess that I didn’t want every Dick, Jane, and Mary to hear me doing that. He responsed, “Then you best be on your good behavior in public.”

Great. Just great.

So a little while ago luna and I celebrated a year of her being collared by me. This seems like as good a time as any to start more intensive training in our relationship.

Most of you will probably think that 3 and a quarter years is a long time to wait before getting into the nitty-gritty of training but for us it’s perfect. I’ve already been training luna, after a fashion, to be a more polite, courteous and thoughtful person. It’s also important to consider where we started, where we are now and how far we’ve both come.

For luna’s part, she started as a girl caught in the mindset “am I really a submissive?” and we had many discussions on this topic. People have told her before that she’s more Dom than sub. I disagreed with this and saw more sub than Top* in her. Now she still has this question in her mind from time to time but it’s mostly been changed to “I am Master’s submissive” and each layer of training, structure and control I place over her empowers this thought. She has also “completed” basic training with me, her friends have even commented on how she is better behaved and more thoughtful now than before she was with me.

As for myself I have journeyed from a timid, reclusive Dom-wannabe to a fully-fledged Dom in control of his submissive. I’ve been mastering many facets of play, control and structure for my girl and raising myself above luna as a Dom and not a push-over timid wannabe.

So I feel it’s a good time to begin the more rigorous training with her. Top of the list are taking the good behavior and courtesy to a higher level in the form of language training. Both towards me, and others who identify as Dom, her language must always be resigning control and authority. This doesn’t mean others have any control over her but I feel that it’s fitting for her language to be structured in away that has absolutely no authority in the words or the tone.
For example the sentance “I want to get some candy please?” should be turned into “Master, can I have some candy please?”.
The hardest part of this for me is to nail down in rules exactly when addressing me as Master or others as Sir/Ma’am is required. I have my own sense of when it should be used but it’s so damn hard to nail down.
Anybody with any suggestions on this point please please PLEASE leave a comment here for me. =)

There is some more training than this but I’ve already filled up a blog post now.

Lastly I want to mention the introduction of the Punishment Book.
I have a black book that sits on my desk and whenever luna misbehaves the transgression is noted with a date and time. Come Sunday the book is reviewed and luna makes amends for her behavior. I can see the exercise going into this within a week or two.

*In my opinion a Dom is a Dominant, a person who owns a submissive(s), and a Top is a play partner who acts as the controlling influence in a play scene.

Not really the training as in what I’m supposed to say in a structured way but how my mood, attitude and behavior affect how I say things to Master. I’ve been all royal and uppity with him on many occasions and while he’s been strict reminding me that I’m not supposed to talk that way to him I fear the reprimand when that polite reminder time wears thin.

Master requires that I’m polite, obedient and courteous at all time. I am to show him respect and honor his authority and decision when he makes one. Now really I’m supposed to hold my own when decisions are being made as he does take my thoughts and opinions into his. But I have to stop arguing with whatever he decides. I have to stop giving him the ‘whatever’ glare.

Master has me writing a bit of a post or article or essay; whatever it may be called about how I should speak to him. I keep thinking of the ‘textbook’ way that it’s supposed to be done and not really thinking about it. Of course that means a few things for me.

1. I know what I’m supposed to be doing, so why am I not doing it? I need to set the example and not let the example run away from me. I can be kind, polite and courteous to Master and I must choose to bite my tongue when it isn’t appropriate
2. I get a temper and just want to vent but I do this incorrectly. I am certain that Master would be willing to let me vent in the right arena, but at his face about anything and everything is NOT the way to do it. I need to be more open with my need to vent or throw a temper.
3. Speaking to Master requires forethought, something I don’t normally do ( and subsequently get in trouble for). I am by no means perfect at this whole submissive stuff but I am learning and with that comes the lesson of patience and preparation. I need to know what I want to say before I say it; this will keep me from wanting to put my foot in my mouth later.

So, I’m attempting to modify a behavior that until now has really grated on Master’s nerves and warmed my cheeks when he’s chastised me. I have to learn, I will learn and I’ll be the best I can be.

–luna