lunaKM

A Slut-Wife Submissive Learning Domestic Slavehood

Category Archives: Skinny Thoughts

Good Times

Wednesday was a busy day for us. We got up early and drove to Iowa City to see froggy. Master had a lot of new toys he wanted to try out that are things I can’t handle. It was also meant to be an intense play session for them. The drive is always the hardest part – it’s 2.5 hours each way.

While they were playing I was at Panera getting a lot of Submissive Guide and CIPEX work done. I’m pretty proud of all the work I accomplished actually. When Master called to ask if I wanted dinner, and why wouldn’t I, they came to pick me up and we went to a steakhouse.

The conversation was great the whole time. froggy asked me questions about how I feel about their relationship and what’s going on and I alleviated a lot of her fears I think. I’m really okay with it. The limits that I have asked Master to abide by are being respected and that makes me feel good about their relationship. I also know that Master considers me priority number one so if I had a problem he’d respect the relationship we have and not overstep boundaries.

He’s so wonderful about that. We both never considered that a poly sort of relationship would develop but while it has conditions to it, there is no doubt that Master has an intimate connection with froggy and I enjoy being around her.

Now, on to my diet change, which has been very positive. I’m not fighting it as hard as I thought I would and I know that cravings will get me but I will have to overcome them. My digestive system hasn’t been this quiet and normal in years and I’m so thankful for that.  It’s been a full week of no wheat products. I have to keep going because now I have no choice – I know it’s making me feel better. The low carb diet has been adjusted to allow some other carbs like occasional potatoes and rice since pasta, bread and wheat gluten products are no longer an option.

Thankfully the explosion of gluten free living as a fad diet has provided a lot of foods that I can explore like brown rice pasta, gluten free baking mix for pancakes, waffles, cakes and more and so many other things. I don’t see them as being staples to my diet any more than bread was in my low carb diet but they will be nice treats.

I’m making Master banana bread today. He loves the stuff. I’m okay with it and now well, it’s just for him :)

Things are going well on the sex front and we are planning to play tonight! There might even finally be some anal sex. I can’t wait!

Bye Bye Bread

Alright, I have had to come to the conclusion that in order for Low Carb dieting to work for me, I need to consider the bad for me foods as allergy foods or poisons. I mean, people who are allergic to foods don’t just say, “oh well, I’ll live with the consequences” and then eat it anyway. Since I’m pretty certain that I have a gluten intolerance (I know there is a test for that.) I’m going to be happier and healthier without the bread and wheat products anyway. My father has Celiac Disease and has had it since he was 20. Bread and all wheat products are just off limits to him. The whole no gluten fad going on right now? Just means more foods for him to eat.

(This next part might be a bit too much information, just warning ya.)

Ever since my teenage years I’ve had serious issues with stomach and digestive problems. Frequent (3-5 times a day) and runny stools. I just put up with it as normal for the longest time. In my adult sexual life that has hindered a favorite play of mine – anal. Master and I have both noticed a huge improvement in my digestive health when I’m better at low carb dieting and avoiding the bread, pasta and other wheat related items.

So, this week I decided to make it work I’m just going to have to realize that bread is an allergy food, wheat products are an allergy food and not go near them. I can do this. I have to do this. If you look at the slutty stats in my sidebar Master and I have only had anal sex once this year. I want that number to be a lot higher. I love anal sex. I love big stuff in my ass. It’s just one of my kinks, and to not be able to do that drives us both crazy.

Today I have not had any wheat products. We’ll see how tomorrow goes.

–lunaKM

Around the Track

Master and I finally made it to the gym after 2 false starts. We pay for a gym membership and we sure should be using it. Both of us got 30 minutes of cardio down and it felt good. Of course you look at us now and we are vegging out on the sofa resting our sore asses. Ha!

I also received some new cookbooks in the mail. I bought 2 of George Stella’s Low Carb cookbo0ks. I’m reading through them and going to mark which ones I want to try. So far a lot of them sound yummy.

Master isn’t going as low carb as I am, he’ll be eating instant rice and potatoes with his dinners. He still welcomes the healthy food changes though.

The pantry will slowly turn over to a lower carb pantry and we’ve already stopped buying/making bread. I’ve not purchased a potato in just as long.  I’ll use up the rice (except instant for Master). The fridge will start to be more full of fresh foods. I’m not sure if that means I’ll have to shop more than once a week. Whatever that means I’ll be healthier and I hope that I’ll start shrinking too.

The housework has been getting done which is a good thing and Master is very appreciative. I feel good that I’ve been doing it and I love looking around and not feeling depressed because I have stuff to do.  Domestic work is never done.

–lunaKM

Rub My Nose In It

Yesterday since my period was over, Master and I had some fantastic sex. I was so horny and my clit throbbed without release. When he told me I’d be waiting for my orgasm I was quite frustrated. It had been over a week since my last orgasm but knowing that sometimes after a huge climax my sex drive plummets he wanted to use me a few more times before I got mine.

Finally at 3:30pm today he came for me, but by then I was beyond frustrated. He was ready to fuck me, but when he reached for my pussy I told him that if I wasn’t going to be able to come that it was going to be bad. He sat down at the edge of the bed and began playing with my clit and I focused on what I was feeling. I had decided I wasn’t going to give him the pleasure of seeing me writhe and squirm at his touch. I was just going to let the orgasm was over me without moving. And it was going fine. Then, since I wasn’t pleasing him he stopped, left the room and said I was to just do it myself.

I did in about 30 seconds. But since he wasn’t in the room, he didn’t believe me and ordered me to do it again. 30 more seconds later I had a second. Both of which were mediocre at best. I had made him made at me. He called me a whiny bitch.

Things went upside down after that. I went back to what I was doing and he went back to what he was doing. Not 10 mins go by when he comes out into the living room with a whip and a hard cock and orders me to stop what I’m doing. I think he’s still mad at me and wants to punish me.

There’s no need to detail what happened, but I broke down  when his fat dick was pushing its way into my ass and he stopped. He had not come to me with any anger or idea of punishment. He just wanted to start over and have some fun after all. I had interpreted it all wrong.

You see, I find it hard to comprehend that people don’t carry their anger for a long time and then want to pay it back. It’s how I was raised I guess. I know that he would never use sex to punish me, but there’s a unconscious response and I think that took over as soon as I saw him. I felt that I deserved to be punished and I was going to get through whatever it was that he wanted to do to punish me. Thankfully he saw that and stopped.

I had a good cry and we talked about what happened. Things are okay now that we are on the same page. I don’t know how I am going to correct my behavior but I have to start seeing that he isn’t the same as all the other men in my life.

And we need to play more so that I can read his body better. I’m terrible at it. Maybe I’ll get a chance to atone soon.

Now, on to other things…

I went to the gym today after a whole week of not going and weighed in 3 lbs up from last week. Not surprised. I didn’t watch my eating that well last week either. I’ll have to get back on it this week if I want to reach my goal by the end of the year. I feel better when I’m eating lower carb so I really should be following it. (Of course, snacking on 8 oz of Beef Jerky is going to bite me in the ass for the food log.)

Chores have been slacking too. When I’m done with this post I’m going to get up and get some done and tomorrow I promised Master I’d be better at getting them done in the morning like I have scheduled. It really shouldn’t be hard for me to get everything done like I’m supposed to.

Writing has been slow for subguide too. I feel behind even though I’m not yet. That’s likely because the contributors I have aren’t submitting any posts and haven’t for months. I’m going to have to make some hard decisions soon. And look for more guest posts elsewhere. My writing has to improve too if I want to get any other projects done.

There’s so much I’m slacking on right now. I’m not even going to list my training until I get my head back in the game.

Sometimes a submissive takes more than 2 steps back. I’m going to be crawling my way back up.

–lunaKM

Flying

Went to the gym today to weigh in and exercise. Turns out I lost 6 pounds from last week, yay! I thought for sure that I’d be up this week due to it being bloat week. I’m super thrilled and will be even more excited if it continues to go down for next week’s weigh in. I have a short term goal of being under 330 by the end of the year. At this pace I’ll make it by November.

I’m making smarter choices when it comes to food and eating low carb whenever I can. I feel so much better for having less carbs in my diet, I really do believe that this is a good turn for me, and I think Master is doing much better as well. I’m still struggling with snacks to have on hand even though I know what I can snack on. It’s just so much easier to buy a box of crackers or potato chips than it is to make these alternative snacks. Heh. Such is life, right? I’ll work on it.

I’ve been laid up most of the day with those deep back cramps that come with my period sometimes. I’ve been taking my time with things and doing some work and then resting with my heating pad.

Going to a movie with my mom on Sunday. Should be an interesting day. Hopefully she won’t expect me to wear the nail polish I don’t like that she bought me last time she was up here. The movie should be okay. She wants to go see “The Help”. Anyone seen it yet? Is it an okay film?

–lunaKM

Dream

Last night I slept horribly. I was in the almost sleep phase where you know you aren’t sleeping almost all night long. I feel like I have jet lag today. I don’t have issues with insomnia so I don’t know what this is. I do know I made 35 typing mistakes in this one paragraph. Oiy.

OK, so Wednesday and Thursday I went to the gym. It felt great and I hope I can keep up the habit. I didn’t go today because of the sleep issue, but if I feel better tomorrow morning I’m going to make up. I’m hoping for better sleeping, healthier active life and maybe, just maybe some weight loss. How knows!

The low carb eating is coming along. Some days I stay within my range and others I’m slightly above, but I’m not craving as badly as I thought I would. I am craving though. I hope that goes away soon. The burgers I made rock! They have bacon and cheese and green onions in them; very tasty. I ate them with Oopsie rolls as the bun and that was great. The Burger Scramble Florentine is bland but I can’t figure out what spices it needs to liven it up. Salt definitely. I’m going to be trying faux “rice” again soon as well.

This week’s training:

  • I brushed my teeth 3 times so far. Once more and I’ve met my goal for the week.
  • I only swept the bathroom floor once, and it appears that everyday will be overkill. The cats aren’t making as much of a litter mess as I thought. I’ll cut it back to twice a week and see how it goes.
  • I wore makeup every day this week except for today. Master especially noted the purple look I did yesterday as one he liked. I must remember that.
  • A few more “Master”s have been used. I’m getting better I think.

Overall, a pretty decent week I think. No plans for the weekend and Master has had this whole week off for the most part. He’s having a grand time playing first person shooters in his office. Maybe I can stop being so tired and get some play in. It’s been awhile and I’m aching for it.

A little spanking of flogging, caning for sure. That’s what I hope for.

–lunaKM

Cicadas Chirping

Master has had today and will have tomorrow off work. He worked all of Saturday and part of Sunday which really stank. He’s put in so many hours and been on call for support so often that it’s been stressful for us. I can hope that the next milestones will be better planned so that he doesn’t have to work like this again in the near future.

Saturday, upon returning from a trip out of the house, I pounced on Master as soon as the door was shut. I didn’t even turn the lights on. I just leaned in and started kissing him, touching him all over and then with his increased interest I started taking his shirt off. That lead to quickly shedding our clothing – each of us taking each other’s off and then moving in front of the balcony window to fuck. I wanted to pretend that people could see us fucking (even though the lights were out). It was so fucking hot! We did it with my hands and face pressed against the glass for awhile, then thrown over the arm of the couch. We finished off in the bedroom, still with no lights on. Now that was considered kinky for us, we rarely do it without the lights on! Even days later I’m still thinking that it was so damned hot, like a few of my fantasies rolled into one!

Then, later that night as I was sleeping, Master comes into bed, throws the covers off and presses something cold against my neck and tells me not to move. He ‘rapes’ me all the while I’m trying to figure out what metal like object is pressed against my throat (turns out it was the safety shears), trying not to make a sound or move. Again, it was so damned sexy hot!

We went to see Captain America yesterday. It was okay. Master really enjoyed it, but well, I really loved Iron Man and each of these pre-Avengers movies has been different. I prefer the Iron Man ones I guess. So, go see it. I won’t give a glowing endorsement but it was quite entertaining.

Today I went grocery shopping but that’s all I got done. I meant to do some writing and that never happened. I put my back out (not nearly as bad as when I fell) so I’ve been resting this afternoon/evening. I had really hoped to do a fun slutty blow job for Master at his request but that’s been postponed until my back is up to it. Hopefully tomorrow, as it’s already feeling better.

It always seems like I’m hurting myself when I’m expected to treat Master to some sexy fun, but I don’t do it intentionally. Right now I’m sure my back is having issues because of the fall and because of the weight it’s having to deal with on a daily basis. Once I can work on that I should be better and more active.

Speaking of active I really need to go to the gym. I did find a few workout videos on Netflix I’d like to try (yoga) for those days that going to the gym seems like too much. There’s even a yoga video for people with health conditions. Who knows. I’ve always wanted to try yoga for the stretching and balance improvement.

The training I plan to focus on this week:

  • Teeth brushing, at least 4 times this week.
  • Sweep the bathroom floor everyday.
  • Use “Master” more frequently, especially when asking questions and answering questions.
  • Apply makeup everyday.

This week’s dinner menu:

Monday – Bacon Wrapped Meatloaf

Tuesday – Smothered Chicken

Wednesday – Ham Pasta Lasagna

Thursday – Chicken Enchilada Bake (1 w/tortillas, 1 without)

Friday – Pizza with LC cheese crust

Saturday – Battered fish sticks for Master, shrimp for me

Sunday – Marinated steak kebabs

This week I hope to cut my carb cravings and start really following the new eating plan. It’s going to be hard. I cave in easily. Hopefully I’ll be able to remain accountable with my food log at SparkPeople.com (I’m lunaKM there too).

–lunaKM

Strained Silence

Yesterday was another hard day for Master. He’s been working his tail off lately and today he says he’ll be working again. I really hate when he has to work like this because of a deadline that he didn’t know about. The stress that I can feel off of him makes me almost paranoid that I’m not doing enough to make him feel comfortable. And then I get him annoyed because I’m constantly asking him if there is anything I can do for him.

I have gotten a lot of work done recently and I’m starting to be more serious about writing a book. It’s just that the idea of writing a book seem so huge and it’s scary. I’m making a list of posts that did well on Submissive Guide to help me focus and then I’ll come up with the topic for the book. I can then fill out the book proposal plan that I got in April from a book publisher who was interested in me. We’ll see from there.

Today I’m going to be spending a mother/daughter day out and about while Master works. Mom wants to come up and eat lunch and go shopping. I’m sure we’ll have a great time. It’s been a long time since we’ve had a day like this.

I’m not as dedicated to the low-carb eating this week as I was last week. I’m listening to my cravings for carbs instead of finding other things to eat. I need to watch that. And I need to not experiment with recipes yet. I forgot to pre-cook grated cauliflower for a taco pie I was making and when it came out had that funny sweet raw cauliflower flavor. Ick.  Oh but I made fried “rice” for my chinese stir fry dinner and it rocked! I’ll definitely be doing that one again. Tonight I hope to make Parmesean Chicken. It won’t be low carb because I don’t have almond flour and will have to use bread crumbs but I’m sure that it will be just as tasty. (See, not as focused. That and almond flour is crazy expensive for my food budget right now –  $9.99 a pound.)

This week has been kinda shoddy at the rules/training. Master has been lax on them because of his stressful work schedule and I’ve not held them up for myself. Is that a bad thing? I don’t know. He basically suspended the tv time rule (although I don’t go too far over every day, I’ve been averaging 5 hours, which is my weekend allotment). I have been brushing my teeth 3 times this week. I know I wanted to do more but maintaining is still scoring in my book. I’ve not swept the bathroom floor once. That’s just ick. I need to fix that one ASAP.

I asked to take my collar off yesterday. I had developed a sweat rash on the back of my neck and it was hurting. It’s still off today and I feel a lot lighter and don’t have anything to fiddle with when I’m thinking right now. Once the rash heals up it’s going right back on, that’s for sure. I don’t have the same sort of connection with it as other submissives might. I know what it means but I also know that if I’m not wearing I’m still his. He said last night, “You still have your wedding ring” and he’s right. I still wear a sign of his commitment to me and mine to him everyday.

I’m back at the gym. It was hard, very hard.

–lunaKM

Low Carb Cooking Today

I made a few new recipes today from the low carb site that I’ve been pouring over for the past week.

Breakfast I made a sausage and pepper jack quiche. Nothing fancy about it and it was good. I’ll be making it again and surely creating variations. I love that according to the recipe instructions I can freeze this so I can make several in one sitting, that way I don’t have to heat the house everyday.

For lunch I made spicy sausage and “rice” casserole. This is the first time I’ve made “rice” from cauliflower and it won’t be my last. Although this had way too much cheese in it and that was after I cut the portions down by almost half. According to the recipe freezing isn’t recommended so I’ll be eating this for the next few days. It makes 6 portions but I’ve been eating 2 portions at a time.

Dinner was… okay. I made chicken enchilada bake but that had way too much cheese in it too. Next time I’ll omit the cream cheese altogether and might even half the cheddar. The spices were nice though so I’d like to find a way to make this that tastes yummy.

Grand total of carbs for the day: 45 :) (I had chocolate milk which was HALF my carb count for the day.)

I’ve read about Oopsie rolls which in all the low carb forums I’ve read have generated rave reviews. I’ll be giving them a go this week I hope. There sounds like so many ways to make them that I just might have a “bread” replacement.

Tomorrow grocery shopping is on the plans as well as paying a few bills.

Catch ya tomorrow!

–lunaKM

Paper Armor

I Have a Headache

Today I’ve spent most of the time suffering from a headache. I’m quick to believe that it’s a carb withdrawal headache. I took Tylenol early in the day, took a nap and then at 4pm Master told me to take some Migraine meds. That seems to have done the best to dampen the pain. I always rate my pain on a scale of 1 to 10 and until 4pm it was at a 7+. I feel horrible that I didn’t get anything accomplished but I also know that Master would have been upset with me if I had not taken care of myself. I’ll just have to play catch up tomorrow.

I did do some knitting today. I’m working on making a snood for my bad hair days instead of doing a ponytail. It will give my hair an appearance of looking nicer than just a ponytail and I think Master might like it. I’m knitting it and it’s black lacey/bobbles.

I’ve begun the process of adding my ebooks that I sell on Submissive Guide to the Kindle Library. You’ll be able to buy them for you Kindle in a day or two. That should be awesome! I’m really excited about it and can’t believe I took so long to figure that out. I’ve also posted another video to my Youtube channel for subguide. I wish I had done more of them before now, but we’ll see what the future holds.

Master and I will be going to a munch this weekend. It’s going to be a panel discussion on relationships and D/s. We might end up on the panel, we might not. I’ve been told that this munch method goes over really well but I have to wonder if anyone will even be there with the holiday weekend. I enjoy munches immensely. I get to socialize and look forward to them all month long.

On the healthy front, I entered in the food I ate today in my food log and I think I did okay. I’ll keep watching it to make sure I’m consistent. Low carb is difficult to learn but I’m chucking along with information and recipes so it should do great. I brought up to Master that he’s got a small amount of vegetables that he’ll actually eat (peas and carrots) so I feel he’ll get bored sooner than I will. I’m not much of a lettuce fan, but I do have a larger vegetable list.

Training Items I Noticed:

  • Brushing my teeth… is still hit or miss. More miss because Master has been sick and then I’ve been feeling icky so the temptation to kiss him has been down. That’s what’s driving me though- more kissing.
  • I wore makeup yesterday and today. It was minimal but it made me feel good that I remembered to do it without his reminding me.
  • I’ve done a little better with trying to talk to Master from another room, but not good enough. I’ll keep watching myself.
  • Next, using “Master” more often. I gloss over addressing him a lot and I know that is not applying the rule completely. My hope is that the improvement will also keep me in my submissive mindset better.

–lunaKM