You know when there isn’t a lot going on I feel like I have nothing to contribute and feel bad for you all reading me. But ya know what? I’m going to talk at ya anyway. Alright?
I’m over my final tally from last year for Nanowrimo with 5 days left to go. I think I could very well do another 10k if I focus well. That would make me well over 40K! That would rock. I’m hoping to go sit in Starbucks or something tomorrow to get more writing done. I’ve been doing alright with topic ideas but I could always use a few more. So if you have some, fire them my way in the next couple days, will ya?
The exercise is going alright I guess. I’m doing it, so that’s all I care about. I’m still exhausted after 30 mins. I’m really hoping that I’ll get an energy boost from exercise, especially if I have a feeling Master will increase the duration any day now. No weight loss yet, but my diet has to change more (which will happen after Thanksgiving). I’ve been doing low carb without a real plan, so I think I’m going to pick up South Beach as my plan again. It was easy to follow and required no carb counting, calorie counting or anything. If it was on the approved food list, I could eat it (in measured portions).
I found a French bread recipe that I’m going to try out tonight/tomorrow. If it turns out I think it will be my go to bread because it doesn’t have rice flour in it (too grainy) and doesn’t require a rise at all! I do want to invest in a French Loaf pan if it does work out. It will make it easier. For now I’ll be improvising with foil rolls to create a couche.
I’m making a feast fit for at least 6 people for Thanksgiving even though it will only be Master and I. I love leftovers from turkey feast. Hopefully froggyKM does too because she’ll be eating some when she’s here this weekend. Hehe. So far the plan is:
Get up early and make the bread – if the loaf tonight/tomorrow turns out that’s the recipe I’ll use. Make the deviled eggs. Prep the carrots for roasting, peel the potatoes, take the turkey out of the brine and let it dry. Prep the corn casserole, make the mushroom white sauce for green bean casserole and the fried onions to go on top. Then figure out if I can make a GF pie crust with all the flours I have (cause I might opt not to make a pie) and if I do I’m making chocolate cream pie.
Somewhere in there I’ll watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.
How’s your holiday preparations going?
I’m dealing with some emotions related to the poly relationship that I’m in with Master and froggyKM but also unable to talk about it here in open forum because she reads my blog. It’s a form of forced censorship that I’m not liking but I think it is necessary.
I am of course talking to Master about it and she’ll eventually hear about it when I’m ready. I know how she has a tendency to read things incorrectly so talking about my feelings here could lead to something I’m not interested in. Confusion.
That’s it folks. I’ll likely write about it in private but I haven’t got anything else to share right now. Sorry.
I’m all better now. Just slight dizziness when I move too fast. I’m not sure what made me sick and all my self-research pointed to either a flu of some sort or an imbalance in my thyroid. Seeing as I am hypothyroid I am leaning to that. It explains the fatigue, dizziness, lethargy and heavy-headed feelings.
Talked with Master about a concern I was having with our dynamic and he’s done what he can to help improve that. I’m also confident that things will get better and I feel good about it. It’s not something I am willing to talk about here, but since Master and I communicate very well I have no doubts that things will get better.
He made mention that our sex life is lacking, and I think it might be related to the concern I had so we’ll see if things change for the better with that too. Oh and talking about sex, we have had some lovely fucking tonight/today. He commented that I am quite the dirty talker, which I am aware of, but what really turns him on is when I let myself go in the rapture of sex and just say all sorts of things. I don’t even remember what I say half the time but it must do the trick because Master always says it’s fantastic and dirty.
I’ve also realized that while he’s rough with me at the start and I fight it because it’s so intense I usually surrender and get into it with gyrating and making verbal sounds that drive us both wild. And I guess the reason I’m thinking about all this is because I never thought I was that much of a slut. Heh, guess I’m living up to the subtitle of my blog!
Nanowrimo is going well. My wrist hurts today so I didn’t do my word goal today. I’m not far behind and I’m right on target if I did the nano the usual way. As of today I have just over 16K words. My personal goal is 40K. I’m pretty proud of where I am so far. I’m having issues coming up with topics for posts – or rather I have the topics, but the words to put them on paper are lacking.
On to housecare I am feeling the desire to really get into the cleaning and domestic duties. I’ve not been keeping up on it recently. Tomorrow is a new day. I’m also slowly working on meal plans that I can just pull out and use instead of having to come up with new ones each time I go shopping. I think that will really save us money in the long run because we’ll have a set number of recipes to fall on. After all, most families don’t experiment every week and stick with what they know tastes good.
I got what I think was a good deal today. Around this time of year every year the local stores sell hams and turkeys, right? Well I used a coupon to buy a 6 lb ham and get a 14 lb turkey free. Amazing to me. I can get 5 meals out of the ham alone. The turkey I am sure at least that, starting with Thanksgiving. I’m thrilled.
That’s it for now.
I just wanted to let you know I’m starting the 2nd week of Nanowrimo and am about 15K words in. I’ve been sick this week with a flu of some sort which has hurt my word goals but I’ve been holding on strong.
Master is really sweet taking care of me and making sure I have everything I might need while ill but sleep really has been the healer.
Went to see Thor 2 last night. Definitely awesome, but if you haven’t seen Thor and The Avengers movies first you will be lost in the storyline. Just saying.
Performing my exercises yesterday (I use a video workout, “Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition”), I twisted my ankle again. Master and I are both convinced that I’m shifting my body weight on my feet wrong during one of the exercises that is causing my repeat injury. He’s going to review the video and probably watch me once I’m better to see if we can’t find out what’s going on. In the meantime I’m back to seated exercises and then the Walk Away the Pounds video once my foot is better.
It kills me to know that I’m hurting myself doing the very thing that will make me healthier and happier. I need to know for myself what is going on as well because I enjoy the difficulty level of this workout. It’s produced specifically for obese and morbidly obese people with altered exercises that I can actually do but are very challenging. I feel good doing them. But apparently, I’m doing one of them wrong.
On Friday, Nanowrimo starts. I’m getting nervous, like I haven’t prepared enough so I’ll be doing some final review of my outlines, ideas and thoughts before then. I’ve decided that I’ll do a reverse nano – which is that I’ll have high word counts the first week and they will slowly decrease as the month goes on, when most people find it really hard to write the daily goal I will have a smaller one because I’ve already done a huge one. I do have lofty goals on the amount of content I want to write, but I think I can do it. I have my wrist braces standing by and I go to the store tomorrow for shopping and I’ll get power snacks so that I can keep going.
I know already that this shopping trip will be on the high end of the budget. We’ve run out of a lot of non-foods like shampoo, razors and such. So, I think I might figure out a more cost effective food budget to offset that cost. I never expected to run out of all of this in one grocery period. Maybe I should plan for that and increase my stockpile by one? I don’t know yet.
I have to thanks CoffeeSlut for giving me a nudge and ask me questions. It appears I’m not here often enough!
I’m doing fine. The grocery budget is doing quite well. Last shopping trip was $180 for 2 weeks groceries. That’s a considerable difference to $300. We are a little lower on meats, but there weren’t any good deals this time so hopefully next time there will be. I’m learning what frugal meals we really enjoy and how to use leftovers so that I’m throwing less food away. I still have problems with tossing veggies. I have good intentions and then it fades before they get eaten.
Exercise is going slow. I twisted my ankle last week and I’ve been cautious about doing it again. The simple 15 min workout is still kicking my butt and I have to do it twice. Just goes to show me how out of shape I am. I’ve not noticed a change in the scale but I’m sure that will come with time.
My birthday was yesterday and we spent a quiet day here at home. Master has been really tired and not sleeping well so the rest was needed. He got me a pair of earrings and a pink sapphire heart shaped ring! So pretty.
Well, that’s it for now. I’ll be back soon to keep talking and sharing my life with you. I promise.
Wow I haven’t been here in awhile. Apparently when something becomes not a rule anymore I subconsciously decide to just never think about it. I enjoy blogging, I really do. I do a lot of it on other sites out there almost every day. But here is my internal monologue. Here I have to face demons, and disappointments. I reflect on myself and rarely do I let myself see the good things going on in my life.
And there is a lot of good going on. I don’t think I have to constantly say that I am madly in love with KnyghtMare and that he makes me the happiest person I’ve ever been. I feel safe, secure and loved when he’s around me. And the attention I get from him tells me, more than his words, that he’s still into me too.
The mandated exercise (micromanaged) is working. I hate it, but I do it. I will know on Wednesday if it’s made a difference in the scale, but that’s not just it. I know I’m feeling more energy and less tired on the days I don’t exercise. I know my body will adjust to the fact I’m moving more and I’ll be less tired all around.
And then maybe, just maybe I’ll go down a size in clothing. It’s a huge jump… 6 inches in my waist and 6 in my hips to get to the next size down since I’m at the top edge of the current size. I dream of reaching that by the end of the year. So I don’t have a defined weight goal right now, I have a dress size goal. Reach a 28W by the end of the year. God that would be great.
I’ve asked for an Elliptical machine for my birthday. I couldn’t think of anything else I wanted,but if I could pick one machine from the gym that I enjoyed using and would actually use it was an Elliptical. They aren’t cheap. Ones for my weight bracket that won’t break in a year are over $500 and closer to $1000. But he said yes if we can find one on sale or a second hand one that can deliver it to us.
Master and froggyKM got matching tattoos this weekend. They got the kanji for Obey. Master got it on his right shoulder and froggyKM got an anklet with swirls and the kanji in front. They are both really nice. I might share a picture if they let me.
Well that’s it for now. Thanks for listening.
On Friday I wore what will be my slave uniform for the first time. It’s not an everyday requirement but I’m hoping that once a week I can dress this way. So, here’s what my slave uniform consists of:
- lingerie of my choosing
- dressy hair and makeup with slutty lipstick
- play collar
- ankle cuffs
- nJoy butt plug
It was a lot of fun and I felt more playful and flirty during the day, which was the intended effect. Master had a lot of fun with it too and we played off and on all day long. Once night came around I was exhausted and feeling a bit dropsy. Amazing experience and definitely a 10 on the sexy kinky scale for me. I’ve already asked to do it again this Friday.
In other news, the grocery budget was great this time. I spend only 2/3rds the budget and have a ton of food that will definitely last a long time. Yay! The freezer is not large enough, in fact and will have to juggle the food around to see what I can fit where.
On to the fitness rules I was supposed to follow…. it looks like Master is going to have to enforce an exercise routine after all. I spent much of today feeling bad for myself that I was getting winded really quickly and wearing out sooner than I used to – essentially getting to the point that immobility could result if I don’t get my ass in gear.
He approved the purchase of an elliptical trainer, but from my research we shouldn’t get one under $500 and a 18″ stride length. Not the amount of money he wants to spend right now. I found a $700 model on clearance at walmart for $350 that fits the bill, but we need to wait until November’s paycheck so I doubt it will still be there. There are used ones on craigslist but buying anything from craigslist is iffy for me (and the car is small). He’s letting me get a few workout dvd’s that will give me some variety.
So… we’ll have to go with enforced exercise
When Master came home from froggy’s we didn’t really do anything special to reconnect. We fucked, sure. We talked more. I had some fantasies that came about while he was away that he and I wanted to talk about. They had to do with increasing the protocol here at home and adding more play.
First, I told him it would be fun if I had a slave uniform of some sort, or a required way of dressing when at home. I suggested lingerie and he loved the idea. It hasn’t started yet, but I know I will be expected to wear lingerie while at home. I’m also to do my hair and make up everyday even if I’m not going anywhere. I told him I felt less frumpy when I do that. He added that I’m to start wearing my nJoy as part of my uniform so I get to adjust to that as well.
Second I asked him if I could have a sore bum more often and that if it wasn’t aching it needed to be refreshed. The grin on his face said he’d love that idea. We will definitely be adding that.
Lastly I told him I think I might enjoy time where my only requirement is to attend him and wait on his needs. Something about focus and meditation and knowing where I really belong. He’s still thinking on that one.
None of these things have started up yet but I know I should be working towards making them happen in the near future.
And then I get a sinus infection. It’s had me miserable and groggy for days. Thankfully I’m feeling better now, but the damage is done. I have housework to catch up one, writing to complete and I still need to get my routine in place to start wearing a slave uniform at home.
My first plan is to set a wake up alarm instead of waking up whenever my body decides its time. This will give me enough time in the morning for myself and for preparing to dress and groom myself for the day. I’ve been lacking that lately.
On to groceries. It’s been hard but the most noticeable change is that when grocery day comes around we aren’t completely out of food. Money-wise it’s not any cheaper. I’m finding it hard when meat isn’t a option, but a necessity in meals. I have started looking into making meals for myself bulk and then heating them up so that his meal is the only meat filled one. That could save us money. I’m eating low carb, which means I need protein in my diet too, but it doesn’t have to be large portions of meat. It can be eggs and I love eggs.
It’s definitely a process and I’m glad that I’m learning.
So, tomorrow Master comes home. I can’t wait. It’s been a long 3 days without him. Not that I’ve been bored. I’ve had a lot of Subguide work to keep me busy, far too much I think. I wanted to relax and enjoy my time, but I knew that I had to get my work done first. And I really never got it all done. It’s a game of finish one thing, and 2 more take its place.
I’ve watched a lot of TV, or rather, it’s been running in the background. I did stop everything to watch the series finale of Burn Notice. I’ve been a fan of Burn Notice since the beginning and it was a must to watch the end. I wasn’t let down. It was bittersweet and makes me want to start all over again from the beginning. I have the hots for Jeffrey Donovan that’s for sure. I could look at his face (and the rest of him) all day long.
I’ve done only the required chores. I had this fantasy that I would be getting some deep cleaning done, but Subguide is more of a priority so the deep cleaning didn’t happen. There is still a chance tomorrow morning before Master returns.
It’s amazing how lonely I’ve felt even though we are in constant contact. I’ve even cried once because I wish he were here. I know he’s having a wonderful time with froggyKM and I’m grateful for that. It’s just that we rarely are apart so it feels so very different when he’s not here.
I’ve fantasized a lot, things that we could add to our everyday to spice it up. Things that, right now, feel like I’m trying to establish an erotic novel here at home. And it’s not half bad. Master likes the ideas I’ve brought up to him – so I guess it’s on me to try and make them happen. I’m sure I’ll talk about them if and when they come to be here.
I’m feeling really guilty about the lack of diet and exercise push that I need so badly. The workout calendar on the fridge is practically empty. I now that he’s going to make me exercise if I can’t do it on my own volition. And I will hate it, but I know I need to be healthy, I know I’d like to lose weight, and I’d prefer to do it on my own time. But he’s given me so much time already; almost 5 years now. And I’ve not made any real progress other than to lose a lot of water weight when I went Gluten Free. Now that the Gluten Intolerance is known, I’m already healthier inside, I’ve got to make my body work harder to shape up the outside. I can do it. I’ve done it before. I just have to find the magic formula.
I can’t wait until I see Master again.