BDSM is Love » Role Dynamics

Waiting for Breakfast…

lunaKM — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 15:19:28 +0000

I figured that since I missed writing this yesterday that I’d get it done this morning before Master awoke. I have a breakfast casserole in the oven so I have just about 25 mins. Let’s see what I can get out in that time.

We are still waiting to hear about the apartment we applied for last week. I’m hoping we hear something this week because we’d like to give 30 days notice to our current landlord if we are moving. It would also help us with the dreams and plans we have as far as the new place. I try so hard not to do too much planning with the new place in mind because I don’t want to be let down if we don’t get it. The suspense is killing us!

I purchased a book through Amazon the other day and received it yesterday. It’s main purpose was for a review on Submissive Guide but I think that it will be an excellent book for Master and I in our further development. The book is Protocols: Handbook for the female slave by Robert J. Rubel, PhD. I’ve read the preface so far and am looking forward to sitting down and really digging into this book. I believe that this book and Miss Abernathy’s Erotic Slavehood omnibus will really assist us in our dreams for an erotic service relationship.

The past couple of Fridays Master and I have gone out for a date and we talk about our relationship, our dreams for the future and our happiness. It’s been a wonderful bonding time and I look forward to these times out of the entire week. It really is all about us in those moments; the world just fades away. I couldn’t be happier with him and our life together.

We are in a holding pattern as far as wedding progress. We need to find a bakery sometime soon so that we can go in for a tasting and get our cake ordered. I’d like to have the menu down before the end of summer too.I have a sample of the paper coming for our invitations so that I can do a mock up. I think I’ve priced all the online wholesale flower places I’ve heard about to get the best deal on the flowers I’ll be buying to DIY the florals. We need to pick out my dress in September as well. But all this is waiting until we hear from the apartment because we might have to dip into that savings to move and then replenish it after that.

Times up, off for breakfast. Till next time folks.

–luna

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The Life is Ours

lunaKM — Mon, 10 May 2010 22:59:22 +0000

When you are counting down to a wedding (even though we have just over a year yet) you could lose yourself in the details and forget just way you are having a wedding to begin with. Our marriage is destined to be full of love and passion. It’s built on a solid foundation of our lifestyle; one that we’ve built from the ground up to work well for both of us. He is my protector and provider. I am his servant and lover. We work quite well in our roles.

It’s a beautiful dance, that catches many people’s eyes when we are seen in public. I feel we are a rarity in a world full of players and casual relationship types. The groups we attend hold a 24/7 lifestyle as something sacred and not for the faint of heart. We embrace it. It is ours. The wedding I am planning will be a celebration on what works. I never imagined myself in the position I’m in, but now that I’m here I know it fits me.

We are happy. Things will always come up and challenge our relationship, but the success of the relationship is not in the challenge, but how we face that challenge. Our love and commitment squashes every challenge.

I’m constantly seeking personal challenges. These are the things you see me complain about on this blog. I’m improving and molding myself to his will. I am a beautiful submissive because I can do this. I have some challenges in front of me now and I feel confident that I can succeed and be even better as a person.

I’m going to get in touch with the sexual side of me that has been hidden. I remember being more adventurous and playful in the beginning of our relationship. My goal is to get that back. I’ll pull out the lingerie and I’ll stop listening to the negative thoughts in my head about my body that keep me from feeling my best. Things will improve and I have a feeling that sex will become a drug; one I would love to have an addiction to… if that addiction is Master

___

Today we got some really sad news. Master’s sister had given birth to preemie twins just over a week ago. One didn’t survive more than a few hours and today we heard that the one surviving was gone too. It chokes me up thinking of it. He’s saddened too and it’s making his mood at the computer even darker. Yet he works on and I provide him the support he needs, as well as the coffee.

Send a thought to those 2 small angels; and the family they left before they were ever really here.

–luna

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Seeking Pleasure

lunaKM — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 03:18:31 +0000

The most common struggle discussed on this blog is my issue with blow jobs. I don’t really like to give blowjobs all the time. Sometimes I do, really, but most of the time I’m just not willing. I don’t like the taste of semen or the funk of ball sack. I won’t get into it because I talk about it all the time. Today in my effort to please Master it was apparent that I wasn’t pleasing him completely but I did my best not to show my disinterest. For my efforts, instead of anything like a thank you he said, “I guess that will have to do for today.” I was really crushed. My attempts to improve my skills felt useless. He apologized later, that he was happy that I didn’t fight him with it. I did obey and that at least deserved a thank you.

We both agree that we aren’t being fulfilled in this service. It’s not pleasurable to me and Master isn’t getting what he needs to feel happy. He even mentioned removing oral sex from our sexual repertoire altogether. While I don’t think that will happen I don’t know what will. Are there D/s relationships that have no oral sex in them? I’d have to say that would be rare indeed and I don’t think I’d be happy if the decision came down that it was being removed; even if I don’t like to do it. I know that somewhere I can find instant desire. I know I have a sex slave heart somewhere – I was a sex machine when I was younger and now I’m just not. I hate it.

I’m grumbly today but things really are going well for us. Other than the now common issue discussed above we are happy and working well as a couple. I’m feeling closer to my submission everyday. We are finding that groove and loving it. I know that more play time is sure to follow.

–luna

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Letters to Master #3

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