On Tuesday I asked over on Submissive Guide the following Question:

What myth(s) do you know about pertaining to BDSM? What is the truth behind the myth? Why should it be dispelled?

Now I’ve talked about myths here on this blog several times but since they are buried in my archives I thought I’d showcase them here. Take a look at what I think are some of the biggest BDSM myths around.

• The lifestyle is an excuse to sleep around with as many people as possible
• You have to like pain to be involved with BDSM
• If you use leather and rope its BDSM but if you use scarves it’s just wild sex
• In BDSM women are submissive and men are dominant
• BDSM has specific protocols that are internationally known and recognized
• I’m a submissive, therefore I can brat and be the center of attention
• I’m submissive. I’ll be expected to act a certain way
• I’m Master/Mistress so and so, Everyone must respect me
• Submissive men are weak
• Everyone plays heavy, there is no room for people who consider a feather heavy
• This is what BDSM is, and if you aren’t doing it this way, you are wrong
• People who practice BDSM are mentally ill
• The ‘net’ and magazines only have beautiful people in expensive outfits. I’ll never fit in
• People into BDSM can’t have normal sex
• My kink is okay, yours isn’t
• BDSM is all about pain. I don’t see how pain is enjoyable
• All the Master / slave stuff is play acting
• There are few people who actually practice BDSM
• BDSMers live on the fringes of society
• “Leather” is only for Gay men who meet in bars
• People who practice BDSM are all promiscuous
• BDSM is a way to get away with abuse
• BDSM = Sex
• All dominant women are men haters and all dominant men are women haters
• Once you start you will want more and engage in increasingly risky play

Reflecting in the past year, how have you progressed in your submission? What challenges have you overcome and what others are you still working on? — SubmissiveGuide.com

I’m sure this question was aimed at me directly when I came up with it for this month’s SubWise. It’s not an easy question for me to answer and I guess I wanted others to answer it too so that I didn’t feel alone with my thoughts.

Looking back on the last year I can see I’ve actually gone downhill more often than I’ve progressed. I spent much of this last year grieving my step mother, the loss of a friendship and the loss of a job. None of these things I’m completely over. It sent me into a depression for which I was medicated for much of the year. There have been several large blow outs with Master and I. We are still holding firmly to one another, but the outlook has been bleak on occasion.

In February when I lost my job, Master took a step deeper with me and said that we would try out me being a full time stay at home submissive. It’s not been an easy adjustment and there are still times where I feel like I am not contributing and I’m more of a burden for Master than a blessing. I enjoy not having to work, but then again I think most people would.

I am capturing a desire to learn how to make more things from scratch, pick up some crafting and home care talents. I started recycling early in March and I’m going to learn breadmaking soon as well as pressure cooker canning this next summer.  I’ve always wanted to jar up my chicken and noodles and beef stew. We always have lots of leftovers from it and it would be so pretty to sit in the cupboard rather than the freezer.  The more I learn how to do at home, the more money I think I’ll be saving Master. That’s definitely a good thing.

I taught myself to knit and basic crochet so that I can make a few things we go through a lot of in this house. I’ve been reading up on knitting socks and hope to try my hand at that after I get the double pointed needles and some yarn suitable for it. I’m starting with tube socks since I am lost when I read about turning the heel and admit that I’m still a beginner when it comes to knitting so perhaps next year I can learn how to turn the heel.

My relationship with Master is more difficult to talk about. I know what he expects from me and most days I can find it in me to feel cheery about it. So much of what he expects isn’t difficult really. My attitude towards it has to change. This is something I picked up from reading The Surrendered Wife that I reviewed on SubmissiveGuide. It’s been helpful and from what I can tell so far I’m doing okay. I’ve added a hand written journal that has really helped me voice things that this blog just isn’t good for. AND the physical journal is completely private, Master doesn’t read it.

Our play time is practically non-existent since early this year. It’s mainly my fault. Either I’m not on the mood, I’m sick or hurting or I’m depressed.  I’m certain that as I improve my mood from this current fall out that the play will come back as well.

Needless to say this has been a difficult year.

–luna

Others Participating in SubWise #5

• Decorating Master’s Sofa
• pet’s journey