You’ve posted before that the TPE part of your relationship has ended, however, you still identify as slave. What are the changes/differences that exist between the TPE dynamic and the Master/slave dynamic?
I was a slave before KnyghtMare and I discussed trying TPE and I’ll continue to identify as a slave. I feel that an M/s relationship is about authority exchange not just power like D/s relationships. KnyghtMare is the authority in the relationship and my duty is to obey. I’m far from perfect so this is always the goal. The key difference that I see with M/s and a TPE sort of relationship is that as a slave in an M/s relationship I still have a bit of wiggle room and an ability to express concern, question and even ask for a reason before I obey. In a TPE arrangement, such as the one we tried and discarded, was complete authority. What KnyghtMare said was law. I could not question or hesitate. It was obey or be punished. I had no limits, other than his and my safeword was for physical issues only. I pretty much had a much more rigid structure to my day, the expectations he had for me were higher and he was far less gentle in his orders.
I had another question! I saw when you answered Alexis’ question about moving that you are moving in July. How does it make you feel that the poly relationships (or was it just the one relationship?) is causing you to move to new cities? How do you feel about the whole notion of moving?
Well, when it comes to picking up my life and home to cater to KnyghtMare’s other relationships I do get a bit bent out of shape. Especially when I bring up my preferences for where we live and he emphasizes that it might be too far away from his other girl. I feel like my preferences get lost, but he’s listened to them anyway and says he’ll take them into account when we begin looking at places in the area. When we moved here to be closer to froggy I wasn’t thrilled. I never liked this area of the state and I’ve continued my dislike of the area the whole time we’ve been here (almost 2 years now). The apartment is lovely, but too expensive for our budget and it’s starting to show. Food and other expenses here are also more expensive than where we once lived so I’ll actually be relieved to move from this place if we can find somewhere more in our budget.
So, unlike moving here, I’m looking forward to moving. Not the actual moving process, no one likes that, but to get out of this place that I’ve never made my home and try my hopes elsewhere. I’m worried that since our budget is so tight that the moving will be harder this time around. And we have 3 cats now. It’s hard enough to find places to take 1 cat, but 3? I don’t know how we’ll manage it but we have to. To help us with the moving process I’m being far more strict with trimming down and removing things from the house that we don’t need. Anything that never got unpacked may not make the trip to the next place and other things I know we’ve not used will go to thrift as well.
One thing I hate about preparing to move is looking for boxes. Last time we moved we were fortunate enough that I purchased boxes from UHaul. I know it’s extravagant but we won’t be doing that this time and I’ll have to go begging for boxes from where-ever I can get them. I’ve started searching Craigslist for people trying to unload boxes near here that I could go get. I really do hate looking for boxes.