August 2015

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Strike Two

I forgot to blog on Friday. This doesn’t bode well. That’s my second offense. The third will bring punishment. I don’t know what he’s planned for this punishment and I really don’t want to find out. It’s hard to get back into a habit when you’ve been away from it for so long. So, to help me remember I’ve started a calendar reminder. It will pop up a reminder on my phone on the days I have to blog with still plenty of time before I go to bed. This should help keep me from getting in trouble for this in the future.

Blogging is harder than I feel it needs to be. I spend so much of my time writing about submission and talking to people about their own personal struggles that I just can’t seem to connect with mine as I should. Now, sure I’m probably blissfully in my place and I am enjoying what Master gives me and the level of intensity feels good and right. Even when I know that when I make a mistake or I have no more “freebies” like with the blogging, I don’t feel the need to analyze it or worry it out any further than it is. It just is what it is, you know?

Today the license plates arrived for Master’s car, so he will be having his driving test tomorrow as scheduled. He’s a bit nervous, but he’ll do fine. He’s a good driver. A little lead-footed, but I can handle that. It is nice to have him drive, or be available to drive at least. And it means he won’t be riding the bus to Kiva’s anymore. So much freedom now.

Went to the gym today and did 25 mins of the Elliptical. I sure do like that machine. I’m hoping to work up to 30 mins by the end of the week. Then I can maintain that time with higher intensities. I also can’t wait until I feel good after a workout instead of icky. Once I get the exercise really working for me, Master assures me that I’ll start to see changes in my clothing and the scale. I can’t wait for that. But in the meantime I’ve been watching my FitBit stats pretty closely to see where I might be progressing and challenging myself to beat the previous day’s steps and whatnot.

Well, that’s it for me for now.


Sweat and Stress

I’ve been to the gym every day this week so far. Sure I know it’s just 3 days but for me that’s monumental. And in all that time my back has not hurt. Who knew that exercise would cure my back ache (Master obviously). I’m working my way up to 30 mins straight on the Elliptical. So far I’m at 25 mins. It feels good on the one hand knowing I’m accomplishing something but on the other, more negative hand, I hate that I have to go so slow and push myself so hard because I’m so out of shape and unhealthy.

Sure it gets better with time, everything does. But I also know it took me years and years to get to this point. Making the mental changes necessary is going to be hard for me. I know I can do them.  I know I have to.  Master is proud of my efforts so far and I know he’ll continue to motivate me and support me. It’s about protecting his investment. He invests his life on me and loves me completely so he wants to make sure I stick around for a very long time. It’s pretty sweet really. Some might say it’s romantic.

On to the cats. This is the stress part of the post… I’ve taken to calling Hermes demon spawn. He’s into everything, won’t stay out of any scrap of people food or dirty dish that’s on the counter. I left GF buns thawing in the bag over night on the counter, only to find the bag torn open under the kitty condo and almost all of the buns eaten. What drives a cat to do that? I just can’t figure out how to get him to stop getting into people food. I feed him enough – the vet says so. Spraying him with water only makes him scatter temporarily. Today I started a new plan and broke their 2 meals into 3 to see if he’s just getting hungry in the middle of the day. Max is still getting into the garbage can at night. That’s a relatively new thing too – and so I moved his extra food (he gets an ounce more than everyone else) to the evening to see if he’s getting hungry at night and that’s causing it. Loki is still fat. He eats the same amount as Hermes and weighs almost twice as much, if not more. I just don’t get it. He’s extremely active now that Hermes has joined the family. Yet he feels heavier. I’ve not caught him sneaking food on the kitchen counters. I don’t know.

I’m sure Hermes will grow out of his get into everything-ness. He might even settle down a bit as he gets older. Until then, wow, kitty stress.

Master is gone Friday-Sunday this weekend at Kiva’s. He still gives me tasks to do and I internally look forward to them. Sure they are still chores, but again, he directs me what he wants done and I gladly do it. It’s a weird feeling for me really to get joy out of accomplishing chores. I used to think they were horrible things to do.  Maybe I’m getting this domestic thing down inside anyway?


Monday Muttering

I’ve injured myself. It’s not an uncommon thing for me, but this time it feel pretty major since it’s affecting my ability to go to the gym. I must have smashed my big toe a bit ago because the nail is now dead, separated from the nail bed but not the edges and oozing clear liquid. It will soon fall off. Now, that would all be tolerable but it hurts pretty badly. It hurts less now that the pressure under the nail is gone, but I’m still having to be careful.

Until then, I’m not going to be able to do much at the gym, but I’m going to try. I think I might have to return and exchange my new tennis shoes. They may be too small. I’ll try them on tomorrow to see.

I’ve got a lot of writing to do this week so be on target for where I want to be for Nanowrimo. It’s going to be hard to do this year but once the plans are in place I’ll be happy. I didn’t get to do it last year because my wrists prevented any long periods of typing. I don’t have that problem this year. As long as my ideas hold out I’ll be able to get things going!

It’s been stressful today, I spent the bulk of it with my mother trying to get her a used car. She’s had a huge run of bad luck this summer and she’s relied on me for a lot of things. Like many adult children, I think hanging around their parents isn’t as pleasant all the time. It’s exhausting.

Master gets to go to a wedding this weekend with Kiva. I certainly don’t envy the fact that being poly means having more than one in-law sort of family. It’s likely to be an odd event for him. Not everyone is so accepting of poly in her family and she’s going to bring him into that. Not my first choice, but that’s no my family so whatever.

The cats are driving me insane right now. They are mischievous butt heads and the two youngest have spent a lot of time in the bathroom for time out.

That’s it for today. Maybe I’ll be more introspective Wednesday. :)



This Week

This week has been so very busy! I’m not even sure I’ll be able to keep things in any sort of order so we’ll just cover things as they come to me.

I just got back to the gym with Master. He agreed to buy a gym membership this week and I got one that allows guests. He’s here for support and encouragement right now but said he wants his own membership in time so he can go to the gym when he wants to also. Tonight was my first visit and I successfully did 20 mins on the Elliptical and 5 mins on the stationary bike. My back is hurting pretty bad lately so I didn’t want to push it too much. We go back Monday and I’m hoping to do 25 mins on the Elliptical. My goal is to get to 30 by  the end of the week.

Master got some lovely leather boots this week too. Kiva has asked to learn bootblack and I think he’s sexy wearing boots so I wasn’t going to stop him! They look amazing on him so of course we had to go get new clothes to go with his look. I know right? Master doesn’t do clothing shopping so this is HUGE! He got 3 pairs of dark jeans and 5 shirts I believe. Amazing haul.

For me, I got in on the weekend Buy 2 get 1 Free sale at Lane Bryant for bras. So I have 3 new bras coming. I’m happy about that.

Our new car is great. It gives Master freedom he never knew he wanted. Once he gets his license he’ll be driving everywhere he said. Good for him. I’m very happy. It also means he’ll be driving to see Kiva instead of riding the bus. That’s a huge positive in my book. The bus was a pain in the butt.

The State Fair on Wednesday was amazing fun. I had gluten free corn dogs. They were okay. I had a gluten free rice krispie square. It was okay too. Master had a turkey leg. He gobbled it down (see what I did there). He shared a deep fried Twinkie with Kiva. That was interesting. We did a ton of walking and saw a lot of strange people :P People watching is a lot of fun.

I shouldn’t try to think after working out. I feel all exhausted.


So Busy

Yesterday was busy and I have no excuse for not blogging. I think I could have squeezed out a post.

This weekend I developed a UTI so I called my Dr early in the morning to see if she could just send a prescription to the pharmacy or if she wanted to see me. My last UTI over 2 years ago wasn’t nearly as painful, this one I had pain even when I wasn’t peeing. That sharp stabby pain made me miserable.

While I wanted for the call back I waited for Master to come home. His bus was 3 hours late leaving, poor guy just had to sit there. I took a morning nap since I was still in a lot of pain and when the call back came, I was relieved. A Rx was waiting for me at my pharmacy.

So when it was time to pick him up, I stopped there first and got meds on board. Phew! Bad news is that antibiotics don’t mix well with sunlight and we are going to the State Fair with Kiva on Wednesday so I’ll be bathing in sunscreen I think. Ah well.

Master finally arrived and we went home, fixed coffee and rested. He put together the new kitty condo I got over the weekend and we watched the cats explore and have fun. Since Master has received a paycheck there were things we wanted to pick up so off we went for some driving practice for Master and a trip to the mall. We had lunch at Mellow Mushroom pizza (love their ancient grains GF crust). We walked the length of the mall and picked up some shoes for me, more coffee for Master. We got a new harddrive for the RAID Master is rebuilding and then dropped off his suit at the dry cleaners.

When we got back home, I took a nap. My back has been really weak and sore lately so resting is really helpful. When I woke up and rolled out of bed, the bed frame broke. Nothing like breaking the bed to make you feel really fat (I am fat, but still). So, after dinner, we planned to look for something to make the mattress more comfortable sitting on the floor again.

Master was excited for more driving practice and off we went. The first store didn’t have exactly what we were looking for, but the other one did. And back home we went.

We have another busy day planned today with a trip to the gym to get a membership for me and more driving practice, including parallel parking for Master. I need to get some quarters to do some laundry too.  I’d better get started.


Driving Mania

Master has been driving a ton the past couple days. He loves driving and I guess I’m a pretty good teacher. We’ve gone around in town, on the interstate, day and night and practiced parking. All of it really good. I’m looking forward to him being able to drive, especially on long trips when I’m tired or my wrists hurt.

My wrists hurt today but I think it’s because I slept funny and they’ve been asleep or tingly all day long. I’ve had to sleep on my back with my knees up to keep my back from hurting. It’s been over a year since my back went out so I’m just waiting for another painful bedridden period. If I baby it now I might be able to avoid that issue.

As early as next week I’ll be going to get a gym membership. I asked Master if we could afford it and he agreed that I would benefit from it. I’m pretty nervous about getting back to using the machines and going to the gym, but I know I need to take better care of my health and the gym will help that immensely. I’ve been pretty down because the walking at home isn’t really working. I don’t feel motivated to work hard and I know when I have a treadmill, elliptical or bike I work harder just because there’s a machine to push myself on.

Also, we are going to the State Fair next week sometime. Master just asked me to pick a day so I’m going to look at the free entertainment and figure out when I’d like to go. It’s hot as heck here right now and I’m gonna be pretty warm there too so maybe I can work a day that has stuff to do and won’t bake us in our skin.


A Car of His Own

Our bank declined to give us a loan, after approving us. Turns out that the particular bank we do our business with doesn’t finance non-citizens. Since Master is a permanent resident he doesn’t qualify for any financing with the bank. Let me tell you how pissed off and frustrated we were! But I called the dealer and told him what was going on and he said to come in and  he’ll talk with the financing department. They work with 30 lenders and he was sure that one of them would finance a permanent resident with his credit.

After about 2 hours at the dealer we drove away with a new car! Master was thrilled and I was relieved. But we’ve both agreed that we will not be staying at the bank I was at. If we want to have a future with more car loans and eventually a mortgage then we want a bank that will do business with Master’s status. It sucks because they’ve been my bank since 1998. I get to call around and ask about hypothetical loan situations and rules regarding Master’s status to find a bank that doesn’t have a problem financing a permanent resident who will never be a citizen.

With all that said, today we went to the Licensing Center to get Master a permit. I’ll be instructing him on how to drive safely and he’ll have his driving test on September 1st. He’s really excited to drive and wants to drive as often and as much as possible so that he can become comfortable and confident with his skills. I hope I can teach him right.


Where’s Our Car?

We didn’t get to pick up our new car today. The bank is taking their sweet time approving the financing.  Hopefully we’ll be able to get it tomorrow. When we had it checked out by the mechanic they found an issue (strut binding up) that I brought back to the dealer and they fixed it this morning. So, it is now all ready for us to pick up.

With a new car we’ll be able to plan that Anniversary trip a lot easier since the car will have AC. I’m looking forward to planning that. Oh and we are probably going to the State Fair too and am trying to figure out what day to go to that. It starts Thursday and goes for 10 days so we have plenty of time to figure out when to go. They debuted this year new gluten free foods at the Fair and one of them is GF corndogs. I just can’t wait to find the food cart for those!

Once this financial stress we are under relents I’m sure my almost constant headaches will go away. I hate that I am physically manifesting this stress but I guess it’s better than holding it all in? I don’t know.

Master has started calling me cat slut because whenever the cats curl up in my lap I seem to just melt and adore them. It’s nothing new, but I think since the new cat in the house is a kitten I’m getting more and giving more attention all across the board. They all seem to want my lap at the same time. I’m hoping Hermes learns his name soon too. He’s been here just over a month and he and Loki are best playmates. I’ve even caught him curling up with Maximus and to me that’s monumental.

I’ve got Sub Forum on Wednesday and we’ll be talking about begging and lite verbal humiliation. I’ve not done the prep for it yet but I think it will be a fun one. I consider myself pretty good with begging so hopefully I can help those less confident. The forum here hasn’t taken off as I’d have liked and I’m feeling pretty distant with the community here.

I am hoping that when we move I can rekindle the sub forum that I left. It’s pretty much no longer existent. The group there decided to make it a D/s forum where both sides are in the same room, just on separate sides of the room. While I’m sure it serves their needs I know that a submissive only event will still draw people. I had good attendance there when I hosted.


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