So after feeling worthless and going through some changes there has been more sexy times, more play and more D/s in the bedroom. It’s been great and frequent enough that my body feels like I’ve been running several miles every day. It’s a good hurt.
Master has even slipped in to the room in the middle of the night, tied my hands together which is easy to do with the cuffs I wear (more on that later) and fucked me silly. Oh yes it has been a good time.
We didn’t get to the caning I requested but I’m sure that we will soon. We’ve been too busy getting busy to think about anything else.
I’ve been wearing my new leather cuffs every night for bed and it has started to become a comfort and security blanket. They make a lot of racket though with the rings jingling so I can’t wear them when froggy is here but I have quiet ones for that. I really missed this little ritual, and since I developed Carpal Tunnel we stopped doing it. I’m so glad we picked it back up again.
The other day kaya wrote a post about her struggle and life, as she always does, that connected with me. So much so that I asked Master to read it because I felt a similar way to what she was feeling. I rarely do that so I’m sure Master took that to mean we needed to talk. He read it and we talked.
I was feeling disconnected, I was slipping. Sure we knew it but because of the way kaya said it, I was able to voice my own concerns a lot easier. Master asked me what I thought we should do and I told him that perhaps we should be more strict and I need to be more accountable so that I can’t slip as easily. It’s all part of that “I can’t submit in a vacuum” thing.
So, he’s stepped it up. I’m certain that in some way he’s feeling better about it too. I can’t get away with anything now. He watches closely. And it feels good.
Now when I say I’m going to do something and it doesn’t get done I know there will be consequences. Just yesterday I said I was going to vacuum. I never got around to it (read – didn’t make the time) and so when I went to bed Master said I couldn’t wear my cuffs. Ouch. I just said “yes Master” and laid down, but it sure felt sad that I had forgotten to do it.
I vacuumed this morning though! Speaking of vacuuming my new digital homecare binder has been a good change. With it always in front of me I’m getting things done and will be stepping it up further in the next week or so. It also feels great to walk around the house and have it be clean!
I’m getting antsy about starting rental home hunting. Paycheck is slow to get here so we have to wait. I’m hoping we can get out next week. It’s only 60 days until we move and we don’t have a place yet. I’m hoping to get someplace soon! I’ll be happier to pack when that happens.
We are connecting better now and all it took was communication – and a little help from a friend.