This is one of those posts where I’ve spent almost 10 minutes staring at this blank page wondering what I’m going to write about. I’m sure I have plenty to say though so I’m just going to write whatever comes to mind until what’s important finally gets said.
The past 2 days I’ve been off, emotionally. Master first noticed it but now I’m really feeling it. It’s like I have the blahs, but also have something heavy sitting on my heart that I can’t explain. I don’t know what is causing it because I’m so very happy with our relationship and situation right now. I don’t think I could be more fulfilled as a person. I’m hoping the blues will lift soon as I’m craving playtime.
And that’s an unusual positive in my life at the moment. It’s been months since Master and I had an SM session. I can still remember it vividly because I was pushed so far and it was so amazing to reach the heights that I did and I can’t believe I’ve waited so long to feel that intimacy with him again. And now I need it. I need that kind of love.
I’ve told Master that I want to play soon. He’s always looking forward to it because he loves playing and misses playing with me. I’m not sure if my mind just decided to take a break from kinky pleasures but it’s been an insanely long dry spell for Master and I. He has froggy thankfully to help fill the void, but as he’s explained countless times; playing with froggy is not the same as playing with me (same goes with fucking).
Makes sense, right?
On to other things… I’ve not been eating much lately. I’m just not interested in food and the food I am interested is full of gluten. So bad to be craving it that I splurged at the store today and bought GF toaster pasteries. I’d never seen them before but imagine my joy at seeing something like Pop-tarts? Yeah, well I won’t get them again. It was like biting into strawberry rubber bands. Hard, gummy, icky, not worth it. *sigh*
I go to the Dr. tomorrow for my re-occurring UTI. I could have sworn I kicked it last time, but no, it’s still lingering. While it is no where near as bad as last time I still suffer. It is definitely making me feel miserable.
Well, I just got up to make Master’s coffee and now I’m lost my train of thought so I might just end it here. No use rambling any longer tonight.