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A Hard Day

To start, I’ve had a hard day. I’ve cried countless times and they are all Zeus cries. I was snuggling with Loki and missing Zeus when I realized that tomorrow would have been his birthday. The only reason I know that is because he was a store-bought kitty and came with a litter tracker with birthdate. He would have turned 13.

I thought I was getting to a transition in my grief when this just slapped me sideways. I know the pain will always be there. I know it will lessen with time. I understand that people are being sweet and compassionate in their sympathy.

But I want to move into a phase where I can think of him and smile. I’m so tired of crying. He was a great cat and I want to think fondly of him instead of missing him so terribly.

I don’t think it’s fair to my other kitties if I hold them and cry about Zeus (yes I know I’m humanizing the kitties). I love each of them just as much as Zeus.

But moving on, because I need to find more tissues…

Christmas was quiet. We played a few board games and that’s about it. I had discovered the day before that the soup I had been eating for 3 days straight was no longer on the GF list and I am still recovering. Hopefully be top shape tomorrow.

Master is so patient with me but I know he’s aching for some play and I would be ready to go if I weren’t feeling like a pile of donkey dung.

This week I’ve been making those candies I’ve been talking about. I have over 5 dozen around here, maybe more. I’m hoping most will get gobbled up at Mom’s house.

On Saturday we go to my mom’s for Christmas celebrations. There will be many kids there to entertain us. Heh. Presents and food and more games I’m sure. Mom is really looking forward to it, I can hear the excitement in her voice.

New Year will be quiet around here too. I’m not even sure I’ll be awake to ring in the calendar change.

As far as goals I’m not so sure. I’ve set them in the past only to have them carry over from year to year. Never really going anywhere.

Maybe this year will be my year? Who knows.

Pass the tissues.


Hi guys!

So, Master’s birthday went really well. We went to the movies a day early (The Hobbit) and enjoyed a huge popcorn and pop. Then on his actual day we played a lot of Minecraft together. We’ve both got into Feed the Beast modpack and with its new update we had a great time learning new sstuff. I was able to pull off the 3 hole day (using my mouth, ass and pussy for sex all in one day) and had a great time doing it! We went out to dinner and both had yummy steaks.

For dessert the frosting and candles didn’t work quite well. The frosting was too soft so the candles fell over before they were even lit, so he ditched that idea and just ate the frosting off of me sans candles.

By the end of the day we were both exhausted. I think he had a great time.

This weekend froggy was supposed to come up but the weather was really dangerous and we won’t be seeing her now until after the New Year :( That’s a bummer for sure.

I have 2 candies made and 3 more to make. I also have bread to bake for Mom. Oh and a cheese ball that I always bring to gatherings. Thankfully Christmas day is a quiet day and Saturday is the day that will be busy and filled with family.

I have new clothing to wear for Saturday that Master got me for Christmas. I might even dress up for the day even though I don’t think anyone else will. Who knows and I think it will depend on how much show we are predicted to get that day. Yup, snow. Ick.

With the end of every year I always think of the goals I never reached, the ones I set and forgot about and the ones I’m sure I know but ignore them anyhow. It’s not very common for me to reach any goals that I set for myself. Of course, the exercise is now routine, but only because Master set a punishment if I fail. I really would hate to have that for everything I need to reach. I should be able to grow on my own.

Speaking of growing, I am hoping to make Submissive Guide grow exponentially this next year. I have a lot of plans that are waiting on other people to work on, but once I have a few of these things together they should be amazing. So watch for that.


Master’s 30th birthday is coming up on Monday. I have a few things planned to make his day memorable including going out for steak, beer and a movie (The Hobbit 2). He requested that I not make him a cake since we can’t share the same one, and my suggestion to get him a slice, mini or cup cake was rejected too. So, what’s a girl to do?

As I was shopping for groceries this week I went down the baking aisle. I commonly avoid that aisle since so much of it is allergy food for me. I purchased birthday candles and a can of spray fudge frosting.

When I got home I told Master the plan. My breasts, and whatever no genital part of me that he wishes will get covered in frosting and then he can light the candles. All 24 of them (that’s how many are in a pack, I might have 6 more somewhere). And then I’ll sing happy birthday and he can make a wish before blowing them out. Heh. His eyes lit up when I told him the plan and asked me if it was my original idea. It was impulse idea when I was standing in front of the frosting. Whee!

He opened his present from me a couple days ago. I got him a 2 sword stand for the Samurai swords he bought at the Reconnaissance Fair a couple years ago. They’ve been propped up in the corner ever since. Now he can display them on the wall. I think he likes it :)

On other fronts we have all the Christmas shopping done for everyone. I need to wrap presents but otherwise we are ready! I even sent Christmas cards this year. I think Master’s family will be shocked since he’s not been in contact with him since he moved here 9 years ago. Well, other than the contact I have with them on Facebook! I just felt the desire to get some Christmas cards this year and you know the deal, you have to give them to get them!

I have about 4-5 candy recipes I’m going to try and if they turn out well I’ll make treat boxes for everyone too. There’s no way I’ll be able to eat all that candy myself! As far as candy it’s mostly truffle-style candies. I don’t want to have to monitor sugar stages just yet in my tiny kitchen. All of the recipes are Gluten Free but most are naturally so. I think the only one I’m using GF flour is the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Truffles. I had to buy pasteurized eggs for that too. But I’ve got Crispy Peanut Butter Balls, Maple Cream Bon Bons and a Fudge Truffle planned. Then every year I make chocolate coated pretzels so there will be tons of them too.

Happy Holidays folks, I have a ton of sweet days ahead!



I’m planning on making some candy this year. I’ve had a few recipes in my “got to try someday” file on Evernote that I’m finally going to try. Master has approved the purchase of materials I’ll need and I’m hoping to make freezer space for them. Here’s my lofty goals (although I will probably tire out after 2 or so recipes).

  • Gluten Free Spritz Cookies
  • GF Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Truffles
  • GF Fudge Truffles
  • Peanut Butter BonBons
  • Maple Cream BonBons

Master has also requested chocolate dipped pretzels so I’ll do those too. I’ll definitely report on how they turn out and if they turn out well I’ll be gifting some of them this year to family and friends. I’m most looking forward to the spritz cookies (my fav cookie ever). I hope they turn out just as tender and light as the regular variety do.

I’ve got all Christmas presents purchased. I will start wrapping them up this week too. I’m happy with my choices, which is saying something! Oh and I sent Christmas cards for the first time in a decade, which I’m certain that Master’s family, who has heard nothing from him in the 9 years he’s been here will be floored to get a card, but I gotta start somewhere, right?

Master’s 30th birthday is next week. I really hope he enjoys his day as I have only a few things planned and his gift will arrive by post on Monday. He prefers that someone else plan his birthday happenings and wants to forego a cake this year since I can’t eat it. I’ll probably get ice cream or something to put the candle on so I can sing to him :D


Giving Thanks

You know when there isn’t a lot going on I feel like I have nothing to contribute and feel bad for you all reading me. But ya know what? I’m going to talk at ya anyway. Alright?

I’m over my final tally from last year for Nanowrimo with 5 days left to go. I think I could very well do another 10k if I focus well. That would make me well over 40K! That would rock. I’m hoping to go sit in Starbucks or something tomorrow to get more writing done. I’ve been doing alright with topic ideas but I could always use a few more. So if you have some, fire them my way in the next couple days, will ya?

The exercise is going alright I guess. I’m doing it, so that’s all I care about. I’m still exhausted after 30 mins. I’m really hoping that I’ll get an energy boost from exercise, especially if I have a feeling Master will increase the duration any day now. No weight loss yet, but my diet has to change more (which will happen after Thanksgiving). I’ve been doing low carb without a real plan, so I think I’m going to pick up South Beach as my plan again. It was easy to follow and required no carb counting, calorie counting or anything. If it was on the approved food list, I could eat it (in measured portions).

I found a French bread recipe that I’m going to try out tonight/tomorrow. If it turns out I think it will be my go to bread because it doesn’t have rice flour in it (too grainy) and doesn’t require a rise at all! I do want to invest in a French Loaf pan if it does work out. It will make it easier. For now I’ll be improvising with foil rolls to create a couche.

I’m making a feast fit for at least 6 people for Thanksgiving even though it will only be Master and I. I love leftovers from turkey feast. Hopefully froggyKM does too because she’ll be eating some when she’s here this weekend. Hehe. So far the plan is:

Get up early and make the bread – if the loaf tonight/tomorrow turns out that’s the recipe I’ll use. Make the deviled eggs. Prep the carrots for roasting, peel the potatoes, take the turkey out of the brine and let it dry. Prep the corn casserole, make the mushroom white sauce for green bean casserole and the fried onions to go on top.  Then figure out if I can make a GF pie crust with all the flours I have (cause I might opt not to make a pie) and if I do I’m making chocolate cream pie.

Somewhere in there I’ll watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.

How’s your holiday preparations going?


Censoring Myself

I’m dealing with some emotions related to the poly relationship that I’m in with Master and froggyKM but also unable to talk about it here in open forum because she reads my blog. It’s a form of forced censorship that I’m not liking but I think it is necessary.

I am of course talking to Master about it and she’ll eventually hear about it when I’m ready. I know how she has a tendency to read things incorrectly so talking about my feelings here could lead to something I’m not interested in. Confusion.

That’s it folks. I’ll likely write about it in private but I haven’t got anything else to share right now. Sorry.


Feel Good, Taste Good

I’m all better now. Just slight dizziness when I move too fast. I’m not sure what made me sick and all my self-research pointed to either a flu of some sort or an imbalance in my thyroid. Seeing as I am hypothyroid I am leaning to that. It explains the fatigue, dizziness, lethargy and heavy-headed feelings.

Talked with Master about a concern I was having with our dynamic and he’s done what he can to help improve that. I’m also confident that things will get better and I feel good about it. It’s not something I am willing to talk about here, but since Master and I communicate very well I have no doubts that things will get better.

He made mention that our sex life is lacking, and I think it might be related to the concern I had so we’ll see if things change for the better with that too.  Oh and talking about sex, we have had some lovely fucking tonight/today. He commented that I am quite the dirty talker, which I am aware of, but what really turns him on is when I let myself go in the rapture of sex and just say all sorts of things. I don’t even remember what I say half the time but it must do the trick because Master always says it’s fantastic and dirty.

I’ve also realized that while he’s rough with me at the start and I fight it because it’s so intense I usually surrender and get into it with gyrating and making verbal sounds that drive us both wild. And I guess the reason I’m thinking about all this is because I never thought I was that much of a slut. Heh, guess I’m living up to the subtitle of my blog!

Nanowrimo is going well. My wrist hurts today so I didn’t do my word goal today. I’m not far behind and I’m right on target if I did the nano the usual way. As of today I have just over 16K words. My personal goal is 40K. I’m pretty proud of where I am so far. I’m having issues coming up with topics for posts – or rather I have the topics, but the words to put them on paper are lacking.

On to housecare I am feeling the desire to really get into the cleaning and domestic duties. I’ve not been keeping up on it recently. Tomorrow is a new day. I’m also slowly working on meal plans that I can just pull out and use instead of having to come up with new ones each time I go shopping. I think that will really save us money in the long run because we’ll have a set number of recipes to fall on. After all, most families don’t experiment every week and stick with what they know tastes good.

I got what I think was a good deal today. Around this time of year every year the local stores sell hams and turkeys, right? Well I used a coupon to buy a 6 lb ham and get a 14 lb turkey free. Amazing to me. I can get 5 meals out of the ham alone. The turkey I am sure at least that, starting with Thanksgiving. I’m thrilled.

That’s it for now.


Just a Quickie

I just wanted to let you know I’m starting the 2nd week of Nanowrimo and am about 15K words in. I’ve been sick this week with a flu of some sort which has hurt my word goals but I’ve been holding on strong.

Master is really sweet taking care of me and making sure I have everything I might need while ill but sleep really has been the healer.

Went to see Thor 2 last night. Definitely awesome, but if you haven’t seen Thor and The Avengers movies first you will be lost in the storyline. Just saying.


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