To start, I’ve had a hard day. I’ve cried countless times and they are all Zeus cries. I was snuggling with Loki and missing Zeus when I realized that tomorrow would have been his birthday. The only reason I know that is because he was a store-bought kitty and came with a litter tracker with birthdate. He would have turned 13.
I thought I was getting to a transition in my grief when this just slapped me sideways. I know the pain will always be there. I know it will lessen with time. I understand that people are being sweet and compassionate in their sympathy.
But I want to move into a phase where I can think of him and smile. I’m so tired of crying. He was a great cat and I want to think fondly of him instead of missing him so terribly.
I don’t think it’s fair to my other kitties if I hold them and cry about Zeus (yes I know I’m humanizing the kitties). I love each of them just as much as Zeus.
But moving on, because I need to find more tissues…
Christmas was quiet. We played a few board games and that’s about it. I had discovered the day before that the soup I had been eating for 3 days straight was no longer on the GF list and I am still recovering. Hopefully be top shape tomorrow.
Master is so patient with me but I know he’s aching for some play and I would be ready to go if I weren’t feeling like a pile of donkey dung.
This week I’ve been making those candies I’ve been talking about. I have over 5 dozen around here, maybe more. I’m hoping most will get gobbled up at Mom’s house.
On Saturday we go to my mom’s for Christmas celebrations. There will be many kids there to entertain us. Heh. Presents and food and more games I’m sure. Mom is really looking forward to it, I can hear the excitement in her voice.
New Year will be quiet around here too. I’m not even sure I’ll be awake to ring in the calendar change.
As far as goals I’m not so sure. I’ve set them in the past only to have them carry over from year to year. Never really going anywhere.
Maybe this year will be my year? Who knows.
Pass the tissues.