Yet again today Master mentioned that he’d like me to be in better spirits and that my frowns and moping around has to have a cause. I laid down in bed for a bit to try to figure out what could be causing it because I didn’t have anything that I considered depression worthy.
And then it hit me. Gluten Intolerance has shaken my whole world. I’m finally facing a silent enemy and it’s taking away an emotional friend that has been with me for years. Many of you may recall that I’ve had problems with bingeing and emotional eating. And now, because of a disease I have to say goodbye to some very delicious friends.
When I talked with Master about it I couldn’t help myself and I broke down and cried. We’d gotten to the heart of the matter. He assures me that he’ll stick with me (not that I doubted him) but also that I’ll get through this and adjust. I think he’s glad to finally have answers.
Even if that doesn’t mean an immediate end to my depression. At least it doesn’t feel very deep – it’s just jarring. You don’t think about eating really and it’s not important when it comes down to it, but then you can’t eat a lot of what you love any more it becomes something you have to think about all the time. Each and every time you eat you have to check labels, read ingredients and decide if it’s something your body will accept or reject.
It’s a hard road.
On happier news, Mischief in May is only 2 weeks away! I’m really looking forward to it. There are over 100 people registered and everything is all set for a fantastic time. froggy will be there too! It feels so good when we are all together. I love it. She has a sexy fetish outfit picked out and my dress that I ordered arrived today. It’s not fetish at all, but it will be a wonderful comfortable convertible dress. Now to find shoes.
–lunaKM
I remember myself being diagnosed with Diabetes, and having to give up most of the food I turned to for comfort. Although I do not have the discomfort you feel after eating something outside of my diet, I do know what you are going through.
It is a big change, and a daunting one. It is a change to one of your lower needs in Mazlow’s Hierarchy. It is a long road of breaking habits that you do not think about every day, something that can be seen as a ritual that you have been following.
You have support, and you have willpower. You have the time and the means to plan on how to approach the problem and minimize the temptation. It’s a complication, but before long it is a habit to check and it becomes second nature. You will get through this, and be back to your regular self again.
What you are going through luna reminds me of a divorce. I understand how hard it is because you remember the good times as well as the bad. Hopefully the process will follow the 7 steps and that the next step, “the upward turn”, is just around the corner.
I was looking through your blog and came upon this post – I have a large number of food allergies (plus drug/outdoor/etc), and I have been cooking for gluten-free friends for quite a while.
If you crave chocolate – I HIGHLY recommend the Betty Crocker gluten free brownie mixes. They actually taste like chocolate! (Yellow box, not the standard Betty Crocker Red.) I also have a few resources for gluten free recipes and weekly coupons, if you desire them, feel free to send me an email and I’ll pass them along.
I have often had people ask how on earth I can live without any dairy or egg products in my life (or anything that comes from the water, or quite a few vegetable and all fungi). Once you figure out a few good things you CAN eat – it will get better! (I hope it already is, since this post was a few weeks ago.)
Good Luck!
-Mrs. M-