I’m depressed. I know I am. I can’t seem to get in touch with happy feelings and positive emotions. I’m finding myself crying at odd moments and when I can sleep my dreams are very vivid.
There are positive things going on in our life right now, I shouldn’t feel as I do – there is no reason for it. But it’s impacting my everyday life and the relaxed state of Master’s life as well. We have so much to look forward to in the coming months – so much going on.
Yet getting through a single day takes a lot of patience and trying to stay busy. I’m already on an anti-depressant. I just can’t pull myself out. Sure I could increase the dose, but what is that really doing but covering up. I need to work through it.
Master knows more about what is causing this depression than what I’m comfortable sharing here and he’s shown so much patience that I am in awe of him. I know things will work themselves out, but I don’t have patience. I want to be better now.
So I stay busy. It’s not really a productive busy either. Games, TV watching, surfing the internet. Just to keep my mind moving. Nothing more.