April 2012

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I guess I’m pretty apathetic lately. Master has been concerned with my disinterest with things and I can’t think of why. I mean I am spending a lot of time reading about gluten intolerance so that I can be more informed and what I’m reading is starting to sink in that I’m having to make a huge change.

It’s overwhelming.

My mood lifted a bit in the evening but I felt a huge sense of fatigue so I’m going to have to try to sleep in later tomorrow morning.


Master and I were out all of the afternoon and evening. Thursday we bought a Verizon mobile hotspot plan and since we don’t have 4G here yet (this summer they are saying) we drove to our other frequent haunt and tested it out there. Master says the speeds are great so he’s quite happy with the little gadget.

For dinner we met some friends, Kiva and Sissy Rachelle for dinner at Famous Daves. They have a very tiny gluten-free menu but can’t guarantee cross contamination since nothing is dedicated. Well I stuck with that menu but this morning I’m suffering. Something I ate had too much gluten in it for my newly adjusting body to handle. I’m guessing it was the cole slaw – listed on the menu but often in other places it has emulsifiers in it that are wheat based. I mentioned that I was surprised it was listed – I should have stuck with my gut instinct and skipped it.

This morning I spent some time looking at restaurant sites that are nearby so that I can be more educated. One of the restaurants that we’ve been to, that Master isn’t a huge fan of but will go has a giant menu and dedicated grill/fryers for gluten menu.

I even found a pizza place in the city we were in last night that makes a gluten free pizza. I just might have to try it.

It’s not that Master and I eat out a lot, because we don’t, but when we do I’d like to be able to enjoy the day after with Master and not the nearest bathroom. Ya know?

Today, in just a few minutes Master’s other girl will be here for play and socializing. She wants to go to subspace this time which is something I tend to avoid. I don’t expect that it will be a fast play session and I’ll be out somewhere for awhile. Thankfully I have a ton of work to do!

I’m off, have a great weekend!


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7 Things You Have Learned From A Dominant About Submission

Can you think of 7 things you have learned about your submission or submission in general from a Dominant? Why is it important to look to Dominants for insights on ourselves? What makes learning from them different than learning from other submissives?

When I started learning about submission the people who I found first were Dominants. They wanted to talk about D/s or sex or things related to BDSM. Finding submissives to talk to was actually difficult. Listing seven things that I’ve learned from Dominants about my submission or submission in general might be easier if I think back to those first few cautious months.

Learning from Dominants about submission is valuable because they aren’t clouded with beliefs and opinions about their personal submission. They see what you may not be seeing because they are looking at you from the outside.

1. Complete submission is a rare thing. No one can be in complete service all the time. There are life issues and stress that cloud our judgement and can derail our submission. When we are on we are really on though so watch out!

2. Submission in the wrong hands can leave the submissive damaged and broken. I’ve seen this on only in my real life experiences but online as well. We are vulnerable as human beings and allowing someone so deeply into our lives and being mistreated can do tremendous damage.

3. The expectations of my service can change on any given day not just with different Dominants. Master can change his mind, he can demand more of me one day and less on another. It’s his whim I have to adjust to – not mine.

4. What I consider submission others may consider slavery and vise-versa. I’ve talked about how I don’t connect with the label ‘slave’ but that others consider me a slave. It’s that difference of opinion that makes us so wonderful and accepting of variations of submission.

5. I choose to submit every single day; it’s not a natural personality trait. That choice brings about so much joy in my life that it’s not even a question of if I will choose to submit that day but how.

6. Submissives have every ability to be leaders, mentors and persons of great respect. Dominants feel pride in their property. I am a leader in the community and hold great respect from those who know me. Master has admitted to feeling pride for his submissive because of that.

7. My submission is unique but I can still share my story, knowing that it has common threads with other submissives. I once thought that because there are so many submissives out there who would really want to hear my story. After 8 years of blogging I think I’ve proven to myself over and over again that people want to follow my life and progression in service.

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Pride in the Pain

This weekend was a good one. Friday I asked Master if we could play; it had been such a long time. I told him what I was seeking as far as goals for play and he happily accepted the challenge.

We used the new breast vice, I asked for marks and to use a blindfold during the session. I took a lot of delicious pain. It was one of the best play sessions we have ever had.

I’m still dropping a bit from it. Today I asked Master for a little pick me up spanking to help me recover a bit. It did help and I was very happy to be able to connect what I needed with what I was feeling.

Master and froggy are connecting even stronger. I feel a sense of pride in Master, knowing that he is helping another submissive correct her happiness and joy in serving. I feel a connection with froggy as well. It is good for us that she is in our lives.

Master helped me pick out a new purse yesterday. I’m quite happy with it. I’m more happy with the time with Master that I get when it’s not spontaneous just hanging around the house. We went out to lunch too and I think he would have gone to a movie too if there was one we wanted to see.

I have a lot to try and accomplish this week. A lot of writing and research and preparation. I also hope to get some housework done. I have the submissive forum on Wednesday and froggy is coming up this weekend.


Good Times

Wednesday was a busy day for us. We got up early and drove to Iowa City to see froggy. Master had a lot of new toys he wanted to try out that are things I can’t handle. It was also meant to be an intense play session for them. The drive is always the hardest part – it’s 2.5 hours each way.

While they were playing I was at Panera getting a lot of Submissive Guide and CIPEX work done. I’m pretty proud of all the work I accomplished actually. When Master called to ask if I wanted dinner, and why wouldn’t I, they came to pick me up and we went to a steakhouse.

The conversation was great the whole time. froggy asked me questions about how I feel about their relationship and what’s going on and I alleviated a lot of her fears I think. I’m really okay with it. The limits that I have asked Master to abide by are being respected and that makes me feel good about their relationship. I also know that Master considers me priority number one so if I had a problem he’d respect the relationship we have and not overstep boundaries.

He’s so wonderful about that. We both never considered that a poly sort of relationship would develop but while it has conditions to it, there is no doubt that Master has an intimate connection with froggy and I enjoy being around her.

Now, on to my diet change, which has been very positive. I’m not fighting it as hard as I thought I would and I know that cravings will get me but I will have to overcome them. My digestive system hasn’t been this quiet and normal in years and I’m so thankful for that.  It’s been a full week of no wheat products. I have to keep going because now I have no choice – I know it’s making me feel better. The low carb diet has been adjusted to allow some other carbs like occasional potatoes and rice since pasta, bread and wheat gluten products are no longer an option.

Thankfully the explosion of gluten free living as a fad diet has provided a lot of foods that I can explore like brown rice pasta, gluten free baking mix for pancakes, waffles, cakes and more and so many other things. I don’t see them as being staples to my diet any more than bread was in my low carb diet but they will be nice treats.

I’m making Master banana bread today. He loves the stuff. I’m okay with it and now well, it’s just for him :)

Things are going well on the sex front and we are planning to play tonight! There might even finally be some anal sex. I can’t wait!

Wheat and I, I mean. Master and I are going strong.

OMG I think Master and I both forgot that yesterday was blogging day. Wow.

I’m in day 5 with a wheat-free diet and my digestive issues are clearing up nicely. That’s a good thing in that I’m feeling better, but a bad thing that I must have some level of Celiac Disease (which my dad has). I’m probably going to have to stop with the low carb diet and eat a gluten-free diet instead. We’ll see how I do with what I’m doing so far.

In other news we were vacated from our apartment tonight for a fire down the hall. The whole hall was full of smoke, but the alarms didn’t go off. We stood in the parking lot for about 20 minutes, cats in their carriers in the car wondering how bad it was.

Thankfully we are back in our apartment just fine. I have a slight headache from the smoke but I’ll be okay.

Tomorrow we go visit froggy; Master’s other playmate. He’s looking forward to it and I know she is too. Should be fun for both of them. I’m going to be at a restaurant with wifi and doing some work while they play. I’m actually looking forward to that too. What I’m not looking forward to is the drive. Ick. Two hours each way.

The breast vise that I talked about in a previous post arrived yesterday and once it was assembled it was on my titties. I love it. Next time I hope we’ll try it with the spikes facing in (at least on the top, not sure of the bottom).

Off to play more Minecraft before bed.


Bye Bye Bread

Alright, I have had to come to the conclusion that in order for Low Carb dieting to work for me, I need to consider the bad for me foods as allergy foods or poisons. I mean, people who are allergic to foods don’t just say, “oh well, I’ll live with the consequences” and then eat it anyway. Since I’m pretty certain that I have a gluten intolerance (I know there is a test for that.) I’m going to be happier and healthier without the bread and wheat products anyway. My father has Celiac Disease and has had it since he was 20. Bread and all wheat products are just off limits to him. The whole no gluten fad going on right now? Just means more foods for him to eat.

(This next part might be a bit too much information, just warning ya.)

Ever since my teenage years I’ve had serious issues with stomach and digestive problems. Frequent (3-5 times a day) and runny stools. I just put up with it as normal for the longest time. In my adult sexual life that has hindered a favorite play of mine – anal. Master and I have both noticed a huge improvement in my digestive health when I’m better at low carb dieting and avoiding the bread, pasta and other wheat related items.

So, this week I decided to make it work I’m just going to have to realize that bread is an allergy food, wheat products are an allergy food and not go near them. I can do this. I have to do this. If you look at the slutty stats in my sidebar Master and I have only had anal sex once this year. I want that number to be a lot higher. I love anal sex. I love big stuff in my ass. It’s just one of my kinks, and to not be able to do that drives us both crazy.

Today I have not had any wheat products. We’ll see how tomorrow goes.


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