LunaKM, I was wondering what different types of Rules and Contracts there are as I have heard some couples use them, but am confused on what exactly they are and how they fit into BDSM?

That’s a huge question and I’ll do my best to make sense of it for you. Let’s start with rules. In simple terms there are as many rule combinations as there are unique relationships. The rules that I have are ones that Master and I have come up with that best work for me and the results that Master is looking for in his perfect mate. Each relationship has their own opinion on how rules would work for them and how many to have at a given time. Rules are part of the structure of the relationship. Much like a child had rules to follow given by their parents to make sure they developed into good adults (or to get the chores done, or stay out of trouble), a submissive has rules that govern their behavior.

Contracts are separate from rules. Contracts are written agreements between partners in a relationship laying down the foundation for how the relationship will conduct itself. Since a D/s relationship is usually more structured, it stands to reason that a contract may help couples form that structure, remain accountable and work to maintain the relationship. Having a contract is an optional step for relationships, as it has no legal standing, it is a written symbol of negotiations and protocol. Some contracts are for a certain term, and some are long-standing.

You can search for contract examples if you are curious as to what they might look like.


Remember, all March long I’m answering your questions about my relationship, personal questions (within reason) and questions about BDSM. You can leave me a comment or send me an email: