I was just wondering, now that your Master has a play-partner as I have read about on your blog would you and him be considered Poly? Does him having a play-partner make you jealous sometimes?
That is an excellent question and one that I’ve been pondering as well. When Master and I first got together he expressed a dislike of poly relationships for himself. He didn’t mind other people in poly but he said he was a monogamous man and that’s what he preferred. Me? I prefer monogamy as far as that goes but as I’ve grown more comfortable with the stability of our relationship I just don’t know how far I’d let it go.
About two years ago there was a huge revelation in our lives, or rather, in Master’s life. He realized that he had a beast of a sadist waiting to come out and many of the things that he had been holding back from play with me he knew I wouldn’t be able to handle; physically or emotionally. We talked about it for a long while before I asked him if having a play partner that could handle what he needs to do to feed the beast would help him.
He was hesitant at first because of his fierce stand on monogamy and his commitment to me. He wanted to be with only me, but also needed to let the beast out or it was going to make him miserable to not reach his full potential as a sadist. I think he decided to give it a try because he was feeling miserable not being able to let go during play with me.
I’m not comfortable with him doing certain sexual things with another partner and he respects the limits I put on play. These limits preserve his sexual monogamy with me and I don’t see that changing any time soon. There is plenty of other things he can do with his play partner that I can’t do for the reasons stated above and because he can let it out with them he’s a much happier man, a more fulfilled man and it has enhanced our marriage immensely.
As far as if we are poly or not – I’d have to say not right now. We are in a hybrid open relationship (one person is non-monogamous and the other is monogamous) I guess and if he found someone to love and be in a relationship with him then that could change.
I think I’d be more jealous than I am if he didn’t make our relationship the most important thing in this endeavor. He is constantly checking in with me and making sure I am still okay with the arrangements. He goes over everything they talk about and the play sessions (in a general manner). I know that if I were to feel a fierce jealousy or discomfort with his play partner relationship that he would abandon the relationship immediately. I trust him to take care of our relationship first and the secondary person after.
I also think I’d be jealous if he was doing the exact same play with her that he does with me; but since I know he does things that I just can’t do it makes it feel perfectly normal. I can’t be everything for him so he’s found an outlet that makes him feel good and I get the rewards of a happy man afterwards. Definitely worth it.
Thanks for the question!
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