I am ready for the new year I think. I have a list of goals I’d like to accomplish but I need to break them down so that they are more reachable in smaller bits and bites. Ultimately I want 2012 to be happy and joyful and full of positive changes for myself and our relationship.

I’ve worked my tail off for Submissive Guide and while it doesn’t make as much money as KM would like to see I’m very proud of it. It will do nothing but continue growing. He on the other hand has projects that he doesn’t want to work on until they can make money so that’s frustrating and not what will ever happen.

I fear that his big plans will never come to fruition if he keeps that mindset. I’m talking about Kinky Blogging here. He’s got plans that are only partially done and when I mention them he says he’s not going to do anything until we have a merchant account. That’s troubling since my credit stinks right now. It’s hard. We have one possible route and we are waiting for confirmation from them. Until then all the things that don’t work with Kinky Blogging and the lack of progress is because of that.

I need to learn to be more patient though because he is always working and he works hard to make sure that I don’t have to work – so that he can have me stay home like he wants me to. And sure, I love staying home. I love figuring out ways to save money and be more frugal. I have plans to add to that this next year.

I have quite a few sexual based goals as well and I have high hopes that they will keep me horny and Master happy for a long while.

We don’t have anything going on for New Year’s as I’ve mentioned before. I doubt I’ll make it past 11pm. Ah well. It’s not nearly as exciting as some people make it out to be. It’s just another day and another excuse for a party.

Happy New Year anyway!

–lunaKM

So with the end of the year everyone I see is setting goals and resolutions which makes me think about how I’d like next year to go for me and for Master. It’s not something you can always speculate about since it is the future.

I like the whole organized approach to next year so I think I might spend some time tonight working on my goals and how I hope to reach them. I’m almost out of TV time for today anyhow.

I’m sure that some of you who have been reading for awhile know that I did try to track my smaller goals on a weekly basis and I failed at that miserably. I can’t say I’ll do better but hell, it’s goal setting so we try that too. Right.

Looking at last year’s goals I see I didn’t meet any of those but I think that was more out of sight out of mind than anything else. My plan this year is to post my goals somewhere I will see them offline.  I’m also working on figuring out weekly or monthly progress goals on the main goal. It just might work.

On to the sexual front, Master has been trying to get me into being used whenever he feels like it which means more blowjobs than normal for me and being called away from whatever I’m doing to serve him. I know that many submissives have no problem doing this, but I also know many who have issues changing mid stride. And then there’s my blow job issue that while the progress has been made, it’s not easy and not super fun for me.

I’m not sure how I feel about it right now. We’ll keep trying it to make sure that it doesn’t affect me mentally or emotionally in a negative way. He’s very cautious about doing anything like this since I’m sensitive emotionally.

That’s all I have for now.

–lunaKM

Master and I spent a very quiet Christmas at home watching TV, playing video games and doing nothing all day. I made a bacon wrapped turkey breast and some fixings.

Then in the evening I tied Master to the bed and teased him and played with myself in front of him and had a lot of fun until he got off and then I got an orgasm myself! It was great fun.

Master has noticed a bit of the doldrums in my face today. I guess I’m not that happy right now. I dunno. I hope it fades soon. I’m not sure why I’m feeling this way except to blame it on the holidays.

As many people do, the new year will bring new goals. We have talked about it and it sounds like we’ll be making the gym a habit again and eating better. Master and I agree that refined carbs are the evil so we are cutting out/down bread, rice, potatoes and pasta. For me it also means increasing my veggie intake. We’ll see how it goes.

I’ve got a few more goals, but I’m not really ready to talk about them since I’ve failed at them in previous months/years. I’m a slow learner in that area. Goals are hard for me so I know that it will sound like repeat goals. It is.

The end of the year and another New Year’s Eve. I mentioned to Master just last night if I should try to stay up for it this year. I think I’ve made it once in the past 7 years. This year doesn’t seem likely, but who knows.

–lunaKM

Yesterday was a day with family that I was looking forward to.

But it didn’t turn out well. There was yelling and fighting and rage and people leaving and kids crying and all over stress. Not what I had in mind.

I don’t want to talk about it too much because it’s still troubling me. Today is supposed to be a day of Master and being together our first Christmas as husband and wife.

So have a Happy Christmas everyone. I wish you well.

–lunaKM

Monday night was hell. I went to bed feeling a bit off and woke around 11:30pm with a full-blown migraine. It escalated to sound and light sensitivity that even the train going by over 1/2 mile away was too loud. I was nauseated and got sick 3 times over the course of an hour and a half. Master stayed by my side through all of it and tried his best to take care of me. He made some of my flavored coffee and tried to get me to sip it so that the caffeine might help me. He was just there for me as I prayed aloud that I needed help.

I’ve not had a migraine that severe for probably a year or more. Tuesday I was in postdrome (migraine hangover) so I didn’t get anything done except some sleeping and rest.  Thankfully today I just have sore ribs/diaphragm from the vomiting.

Today I’ve been baking and candy making up a storm because my gifts for the adults this Christmas are all homemade from my kitchen.

• white bread
• cinnamon sugar pull-apart bread
• white chocolate pretzels
• old-fashioned hot cocoa mix
• homemade marshmallows (for the cocoa)
• cream cheese mints
• and hopefully candied pecans

It looks like it will be a dry Christmas, no snow or even rain and the temps will make us feel like Fall. Of course not 300 miles south of us is a blizzard. Ick. I don’t want that.

Iv’e been struggling with a really bad period and Master is getting impatient for my sexy slutty action to come back. I don’t blame him. Our sex life struggles around my period all the time. And with me still recovering from a sprained ankle and sore (possibly broken) toe I’ve not been feeling it at all.

We are celebrating Christmas on Friday with the family. I’m making bread dough through Wednesday and then baking everything on Thursday so that the bread is fresh to give on Friday. I have one loaf in the freezer right now, which means I need 5 more.

I think with all this practice making bread I’ll be really good at it. The loaf I made for us today was yummy!

I also made chocolate chip cookie dough that tomorrow I’ll cut up into pieces and freeze so I can just pull out a few cookies at a time to bake when we have a sweets craving.

Now, starting after Christmas, Master and I are going back to the gym and I’ll be hoping to lose weight and feel better next year. It’s not really a resolution but if I ever want to sleep in the same bed as Master I need to stop snoring and to do that I need to lose weight.

Master wants to buff up a bit. I find him so handsome as is, but if he’s got a little buffer then I’m good with that

–lunaKM

Last night, my dreams were filled with memories. Memories of friends who have moved on, ex loves and happy times with them all. I know I spent a lot of the night moving through my memories and loving being around these people.

And then I woke up. I felt horrible. First I felt regret that I am no longer talking to some of these friends and have lost contact with them. Then I felt bad that I was dreaming about happy memories with my ex-husband. I’m happy with Master I shouldn’t need to dream about the past. So today I feel really down about it all.

I’m stuck in memory today.  I told Master about my dreams and he’s checking in on me a lot. I don’t know why I am letting this bother me so much. The memories are happy I should enjoy reliving them. Hell, maybe it’s just seasonal depression or something. I really don’t know.

It’s rainy today and gloomy. My wrists hurt, my ankle hurts and I’m just tired. Tell me that tomorrow will be better. Please.

–lunaKM

There’s not a whole lot of slut activity or training lately. It’s been more about healing and recovering so that I can lay around.

Ankle is getting better. Wrists are getting worse. Winter settles into my carpal tunnel afflicted wrists causing pain. I’ll survive but it means frustration for Master and I as far as sexual adventure goes. I know I’m going to have to address my pain sooner or later, but until then…

Master’s birthday is on Friday and I think I’ve come up with the special gift I’d like to give him. He also wants to go to the movies. Sherlock Holmes comes out Friday so we’ll be going to that. Hopefully we’ll have dinner out as well.

Saturday I’ll be leading a munch and am trying to put together a topic that will be interesting. I get to do the outline tomorrow.

–lunaKM

I’m feeling much better today! My ankle only mildly aches when I walk around. I’m sure that by the end of this weekend I’ll be a-okay again.

My jaw however hasn’t gotten a lot better. It doesn’t hurt all the time, but we tried a blow job the other day and not 5 mins into the fun my jaw popped and started hurting. Not fair at all.

If it’s not one thing than it’s another.

Most people in D/s relationships will say that everyday living gets in the way of the power exchange. In our case it’s getting in the way of the sex. For us, sex is a very important part of how we communicate and connect.  I know we just have to put up with the issues and bring out the D/s when you can.

You can’t really do that for sex. Well, not for us. Creativity is running dry I think. And that sucks.

–lunaKM

I got up this morning and put together all the chores and errands I needed to run for the day. I was looking forward to getting all that stuff done and looking forward to having some fun this afternoon.

There was no way to know what was waiting for me down the stairs. I hit a patch of ice on the concrete last step and slid into the gravel. I sprained my left ankle and my right toe while also bruising my right knee. I cried and groaned and reached for the phone in my purse. Not quite sure I should move my foot at all. I called Master to come down and help me that I had fallen. I was so panicked and in pain.

He helped me up the 3 flights of stairs and has cared for me all day. I got nothing done. I’ve limped and whined about how bad I hurt all day long. I felt like such a bother.

I still feel like a bother even though I know that Master will do everything to take care of me. He even went to the store earlier and he never does that unless he has to!

Master says that I’ll be recovering a few days before I can do much of what I want to do. Which makes me grumbly.

Mom called me shortly after I made it back up stairs. I told her that I was going to be fine and her first words were, sue the landlord. OMG whatever. Just because I slipped on the ice that isn’t everywhere, just that tiny specific spot? Can’t people get into accidents anymore without blaming anyone but their own misfortune? I don’t think she’s resigned herself to me not wanting to do anything about it.

As a submissive it’s so hard to accept that service is reversed when you are ill or laid up. I know and understand why it has to happen but it doesn’t make it any easier. He’s happy to take care of me I know it.

–lunaKM

I have this slut space that doesn’t come out nearly as often as Master would like. Last night as I was getting ready for bed it awoke and he took full use of my slutty behavior. It feels so good to let myself go and enjoy sex as such a primal level. It’s hard to embarrass myself when I’m feeling this way too.

I had a wonderful time too, I hope I can bring out my slutty behavior more often in the future!

Today we both go to a potluck munch for the holidays. There promises to be a lot of wonderful food there.  I’m looking forward to some conversation and socializing. Master not so much.

Christmas is coming and I’m not even feeling the desire to put the tree up. I’m not in the spirit I guess.

–lunaKM