I’ve recently been reading Mollena’s blog and she has some jewels of writing that make me really think. Think about life, submission and how I am going about it. She has some fantastic videos on Kink Academy that have to do with active submission that get me charged up each time I watch them, and yes I’ve watched them more than once. This jewel of writing and thought came from her most recent blog post;
Being a good submissive means doing what my dominant wants even if he annoys me.
Being a GREAT submissive means loving it when my dominant annoys me…and finding the joy in that frustration and discomfort.
I has me thinking this morning about my own life and my own submission. And not just because I missed my blogging deadline of yesterday. I have no excuse. I went to bed an hour early but had made that decision an hour previously – with no thought to writing a journal post. Blog fail.
But I’m here now and thanks to Mollena I’m doing more than just recounting my day of homemade laundry powder, fake Febreeze, cleaning and knitting. Although I did these things too, they don’t define my submission as serving Master does. Okay, yes doing these things makes Master happy, completing them makes me happy.
Thinking on Mollena’s quote above though – am I really obedient when he’s driving me insane? Sure, sometimes. I can recount the times I’ve cleaned up his wrappers and left over bits from his late night eating, thinking he needs to learn where the trash can is. Only to be reminded by myself that this is my duty and there’s no harm done. I just come up behind and clean up after him. Sure he’s perfectly capable of doing it, and I know that most of the time it is that he forgets or is to wrapped up in his food “hunting” to discard the waste. But it does annoy me sometimes. OK, so that makes me a good submissive (per Mollena’s quote).
And then I think, does his being annoying and my resulting frustration over it bring me joy? Nope. If I don’t immediately voice my opinion about his being annoying, I shake my head and go about the task, still wondering why he’s so annoying!
I think I’ll never reach the level of great when it comes to annoying dominant ways. I think I’ll still be irked with his idiosyncrasies years down the road and I’ll just continue. I won’t bring me joy or happiness. Just the furrowed brow and a bend to my task.
Oh a good example would be last night. Master was in the kitchen getting a glass of milk. He takes out a plastic glass and looks at the outside bottom. It has crumb remnants from a dishwashing cycle. He puts it on the counter. He looks at another, by this time I’m asking him what’s wrong. He shows me the bottoms of the glasses. Now, for me that’s no big deal – you won’t be drinking off the external bottom of the glass. But for him that’s just icky. He tells me I’ll be rewashing them and not putting them back in this condition.
At this point I’m annoyed because I don’t see the big deal. No one looks at the bottom of the exterior of the glass, it was just a bit of crumb remnant. No harm. Alright so, I have two glasses to rewash – that I don’t consider to be dirty – and he’s off with his glass of milk. Do I love that he’s just annoyed me? Not really.
But I have learned something from it. I learned that he’s more particular about the cleanliness of the outside of his glasses than I am and that I need to start paying more attention to that when I unload the dishwasher. And then I wonder though. Is it to improve his cup selection that I’m doing this or is it really because he annoyed me and I want to avoid being annoyed again. Yeah, it’s likely the second. Sounds terrible of me. And as I learn, I grow. Could I perhaps one day learn to love being annoyed by some of his ways? Maybe. But it’s more likely that I will continue to work to prevent myself from being annoyed.
Is that proper submissive behavior? I don’t know. Either way the end result is the same. He gets cleaner glasses in exchange for my annoyance not rising by his eccentricities.
Readers: What do you think about Mollena’s quote?