October 2011

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Love me Tender

After yesterday’s fun my ass is still tender but the good news is I’m feeling horny still and as soon as I’m done blogging tonight I’m going to pounce on Master for a blow job. I’m really looking forward to it.

Thankfully, Master said that my ass isn’t stretching any further than The Randy. Since I made it once, I’m sure that I’ll relax more and be able to enjoy it even more. Hell, DP is definitely a fetish of mine and to be able to experience it in a big BIG way was just so hot.

Tomorrow starts Nanowrimo and I’m excited and nervous. It’s a lot of writing and thinking and researching and pouring my heart out for the whole month so that I can develop some fantastic resources for Submissive Guide. I worry that quality will suffer but then I have to remember that I rarely edit what’s going there now so it can’t be that bad.

I’ll have to dig out my wrist braces most likely so that my Carpal Tunnel doesn’t drag me down before I’ve reached the end.


DP Hotness

I just had to share. I don’t usually tell you all of the sexual escapades that Master and I get into but this was just so very very hot that I had to share. Master and I are into large objects and double penetrations. Well today we mixed the two in a big way. Our new sex toy from Eden Fantasys called Randy has been a fun new addition to our sex play. Well today after some really awesome butt sex I thought, what the hell. Let’s try to put that in my ass. Just as a reminder, here’s the Randy.

It went in my ass with a few heavy breathing and a break. Oh my it was so awesome! It was making me so hot to feel it filling me up. So much so that I asked Master how his dick was, since he had just fucked my ass and cleaned up. He was ready to go, oh hell yeah. It was hot, so tight and sexy. Intense and perfect.

The Randy is the largest thing I’ve had in my ass. I have been ass fisted before but the hand attached to the man was small and I’d have to say it might have been smaller than the Randy’s girth.

I’m floating on cloud nine. I can’t wait to try it again soon.


Insanity is a Pen

I’ve gone crazy. I signed up for Nanowrimo. I’m not a traditional nanowrimo participant though. My goal is to do a lot of blog content creation for Submissive Guide. I’m hoping to have some new ebooks, reports, ecourses and all sorts of new stuff to put out when I’m done. Master thinks I’ll get about 7 days before I want to quit. Of course I want to do the full 30 days. I think I need the sense of competition, even if it is with myself. 2,000 words a day isn’t really that much since I’ve usually done about that much on some days (none on others). Making sure I don’t stop and try to edit it all right then will be the hard part. It’s got to be all rough and raw content. Just a constant stream of ideas and thoughts.

I’m not exactly a writer in the “I went to school for it” sense, but I sure enjoy what I do now. It’s positively stressful to think about writing all that in one month, but I’ve been writing for Submissive Guide for 3 years now. I think I can do an intensive. I hope I can.

I was intent on giving Master a good blow job today. He’s not had one since I’ve been sick and finally he got one. I took a bunch of meds to make sure that I’d be okay enough to do it. I had fun and teased him for awhile. I’m hoping that I continue to feel okay and can have more fun later.

That is if he doesn’t stay solitary. He’s rewriting a tool he made for his gaming recreation. It’s in demand. I’m so proud of him for developing something that people want and that he could make a little bit of money from. He works so hard sometimes. It’s time he gets back from people who enjoy his work.

I read somewhere, I can’t remember where now, that obesity lowers your immune system which could explain the constant struggle I have with sickness. I’d really like to be well more than a couple days at a time. It’s beyond frustrating for both of us. My only hope is to get the weight down and the only way to do that is to really intensely watch what I eat and to actually exercise.

I know I complain about dieting a lot and I don’t do much about it. Someday I will, surely. Bleh.


I got a few more fun toys from BDSM-Gear recently.

The Fiberglass cane was one that I was really looking forward to using and asked Master if it could be my birthday spankings. It arrived as everything does in a non-descript box. We opened it within minutes of arrival and gave it a test swing. The fiberglass rod came out of the leather/wood handle right away. I’m not sure it was glued in well so I hot glued it in place and it was ready to go in no time.

Of course I’d hope that perhaps it was a unique design flaw in mine and that if you ordered one you’d not have to have your own glue gun.

We started into the spanking as we normally do. I love warm up and I wanted Master to try out all of our canes so that I could figure out which ones I liked the best.  I really enjoyed the sensation of the fiberglass cane immensely. It stings and I love sting. Fiberglass is more flexible than some of the other canes we have. I made a few dowel canes that are very rigid and hurt.

But let’s really get down to it. Flexible canes sting, but they get deeper in your tissue than rigid ones. I think the sting of rigid canes is more of a surface sting. It’s an ouch and then goes away. The flexible canes, like the Fiberglass cane from BDSM-Gear stings and then deeper it stings again.

Master liked the size of the handle and had better grip than smaller handled canes. There was less vibration in the Top’s hand. That means he could carry on longer and our pleasure would be greater. He didn’t like the sense of wobble at the attachment point in the handle. It could have been related to the fact it fell out on arrival. Perhaps a tighter drilled hole and a better apoxy fill might improve the sensation.

I would recommend this cane for people who love sting and want an intense sensation and a long lasting deep bruise. It goes deep in the tissue. I enjoyed it. It was really good.

In fact, I had my first experience with leather butt. We played more aggressively than I have in the past. Definitely worth doing again.

If you’d like your own fiberglass cane, BDSM-Gear has them for a fantastic price. Go get some sting of your own.


For the Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge

After writing here for 7 years I tend to forget that I have new readers come across my words everyday. Many of you probably don’t know everything about me. Here’s my attempt to share some of the more interesting things with you.

    1. I discovered BDSM and submission in 2002 when my marriage was failing to make me happy. My husband at the time encouraged my playfulness online and even participated in web cam shows for anyone who was watching. Little did he know that my online exploration would end the marriage.
    2. I’ve had sex with 5 men. Three of whom I can not remember their first names. I don’t even think I knew their last names. They were one night stands. I don’t regret them but I don’t remember them much either.
    3. I’ve gained 100 lbs in 7 years. I’m embarrassed by it but know that my health conditions have aided in the weight increase and the difficulty I have with its loss.
    4. When I married KnyghtMare in June I added Luna to my middle name. I identify with it more than my real first name and wanted it to be a part of me legally.
    5. I am a learned submissive. I don’t come by submission naturally in every aspect but I find real happiness when I do submit. This is the main reason, I feel, that KnyghtMare and I have the struggles we do. I’m constantly grateful for his patience and guidance as I learn and explore the peace in submission that he cultivates for me.
    6. I am a size queen, but would never have admitted it when I first met KnyghtMare. I love big dicks and had that as a requirement for my life partner. (No complaints here!) KnyghtMare has a love for large objects which just feeds that desire. I’m certain that one day we will own a decent selection of huge insertables.
    7. I still have fantasies of the “ideal” submissive life where I’m in cuffs and collar all the time, following direction, being used. If it clouds my perception of the real world I live in, and I’m sure it does, then so be it. I love the fantasy of it.
    8. Submissive Guide was never to be as big as it is. I am amazed everyday that so many people read it and enjoy what I have to say as well as support the purpose of it. I hope it thrives for years to come.
    9. I love 80′s action TV shows like MacGyver, A-Team and Knight Rider! I also love 80′s cartoons :)
    10. I’m an exhibitionist and it doesn’t apply to only sexual situations. I tend to be “more submissive or compliant” in company of other BDSM couples and events.
    11. I am learning to be a good cook. I love trying new recipes but am terrible at winging it.  My creativity in cooking is horrible and Master doesn’t like it when I create something without a recipe.
    12. I dreamed as a teen of being a stay at home wife. The reality of it is nothing like my dreams. My dreams involved a maid, manicures and pedicures, dressy hair and charity dinners.
    13. I would love to live off the grid, using solar power, reclaimed water, recycle or reuse everything and maybe even a garden. That would be lovely. My dream home also has 4 bedrooms, a laundry room, and a decent pantry. Master wants a basement dungeon, fully furnished of course.
    14. It’s taken me 7 years to learn to enjoy blow jobs.
    15. I think that Master is the most fascinating and talented Dominant that I know – and while I’m partial – I think I would think so even if I weren’t his. His wisdom belies his age every time.
    16. I am spoiled. Master sees to my every need and many of my wants too. He likes to make me happy and in return I try my best to take care of him.
    17. As a child I had a lot of Barbies. They were always having sex and mom never understood why they rarely wore clothing even though I had a lot of Barbie clothes.
    18. I’m a crier. Master thinks it’s adorable. I cry at movies, even if I’ve seen them before. I’m very sensitive.
    19. A lot of the rituals and protocols that Master and I engage in are ones that I’ve suggested. I guess I tend to like to complicate my life.
    20. I’m very active in my local community. I love feeling helpful and providing educational opportunities. I love the support and camaraderie of lifestyle friends.
    21. I couldn’t submit to just anyone. There’s something special about Master that drives me to be his servant.
    22. I look forward to being able to go to regional and national BDSM events. Master said we can start going to them next year :)
    23. Sex and pain go hand in hand with me. I can take more pain when I’m being sexually stimulated. Yes, I’m a masochist. I also can take more pain after an orgasm (which seems to be the opposite to many others I’ve talked to).
    24. I was an online sub, then a long distance sub and finally part time to full time. I’ve experienced so much of the different types that I understand why some types are favorable to certain situations.
    25. I’m hoping Master finds another play partner so that his cravings for emotional and mental sadism can be fed, as well as his more aggressive physical sadism. He’s quite a beast and needs a masochist that gets off on all of it. I just can’t be everything he needs.


34 Candles

It’s true. Today I’m 34. For some reason I feel old. I’m no where near 40 but looking at Master who is a young 27 I feel older. He isn’t phased by my age. The only thing special I wanted to do today was have cake with every meal. Plans changed a bit, but I did have cake for breakfast and will have an ice cream cake for dessert after dinner.

Other than that, I don’t have a lot to talk about. Tomorrow Master will be playing Battlefield 3 all day. He’s taken the day off to play games. I’m hopefully it’s going to be a normal day for me. If I can breathe then I’ll be back on gym and blow job duties.

So, that means Wednesday might be a more interesting blog post ;)



I’m trying to get this post done early for 2 reasons.

  • I feel a headache coming and the way it feels now means it could be pretty bad later.
  • If the headache doesn’t get bad I want to get a lot done today and will likely forget this post – and I already did that once this week.

I’m quite a bit better cold-wise than I was. I still have a slight brain fog I’m dealing with and the fatigue is less so I hope to get things done today that need doing. The chores are piling up, and you’d think that with just the two of us that there wouldn’t be that much to do, but goodness that’s not true. I am certain that it has to do with us both being home all the time. I bet that if we worked away from home the house would require less cleaning.

I’m looking forward to a bunch of play when I’m feeling better. Master has a flogging workshop coming up and I know he’ll want to practice his Florentine. We got a couple new items from BDSM-Gear to play with and review that I’m really looking forward to, and I got a new large toy from Eden Fantasies that Master can’t wait to stretch me with. Let’s be honest, I can’t wait to try it out either.

My birthday is on Monday so my family is coming up on Sunday to have cake and ice cream. I asked them not to buy me presents but does Mom ever listen? I’m sure I’ll have a few to open and I have to remind myself not to think about how much they are all struggling financially and accept them graciously. Sister listened. She’s making the cake (or rather my 6 yr old nephew is).

Did I tell you yet what Master got me for my birthday? I asked him for a Food Processor and he said yes! I’ve been using it almost everyday :) We also got a toy for playtime; the Neon Wand by KinkLab. Oh it rocks! See, we’ll have a lot of fun playing in the near future when I’m 100% better.

Well, that’s it for today. Have a good weekend everyone.


Separate Cells

I’m feeling a bit better today. I’m not sleeping as much, but I have had several little naps to keep me going. I’m feeling groggy and lethargic. I’m still coughing up a lung and have a faucet for a nose but it’s getting better, trust me.

I wanted to get a bit done today though this morning when I was still feeling okay. I was warned, and rightly so, not to overdo it. I’m known to do that and push myself too far. I did get done what I wanted to, but it took two breaks to get it done. I was able to get the dishes done, cauliflower head shredded for “rice”, mushrooms sliced and sauteed and frozen, green peppers sliced, diced and frozen, and I got to the carrots when I realized I had reached my limit. I laid down and that was it for housework for the day. I’m that weak.

Tomorrow I hope to get the litterbox cleaned. It’s been 3 days. I might have the energy to fold the laundry I washed on Friday too. Hah!

With the drastic change in weather Master has a bit of the seasonal depression. He’s harboring himself away in his office playing games and whatnot while I lay about here and watch TV on my makeshift sickbed. What a pair we must be making. It’s not a big deal for me right now being sick, but I know I’d feel lonely if he were depressed and I was trying to maintain things on my own.

I also know it’s a seasonal thing and as soon as he adjusts to the coming cold days and freezing nights he’ll be better.


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