I have a headache. I still have a cold too but I’ve been taking Cold-Eeze and it is dramatically better if I remember to take it than when I don’t. I’m also PMSing which has Master going nuts here. I’m so moody and I don’t catch it until it’s too late.
And then recently Master and I haven’t been on the same track as far as sex. He wants sex one way and I seem to want it another. So when we do come together it feels forced and uncomfortable and odd. I’m boring him. I’m not being slutty enough. He’s not excited by the sex any more. And of course with my moodiness I took it to mean that he wasn’t wanting to have sex with me anymore; not that something was disjointed.
It’s a big thing when you are as sexually focused as Master is. Hell, it’s a big thing period. Sex is how we connect and when it goes wrong our whole relationship suffers.
Sure the sex isn’t going to be passionate all the time and while I’m sick it is practically forced because I have no energy.
But I always have something going on. I’m either too tired, fatigued, aches and pains, sick, PMS, period something. He’s tired of it and frankly I am too. I want to just be normal. I am hoping that my visit to a new Dr next week helps with that… if he passes the interview. I don’t need a Dr telling me that I should have Gastric surgery or that frankly I’m too fat so that’s why I’m sick. I don’t want a Dr that sticks to numbers when I tell them that I still don’t feel right and think that perhaps my medication should be adjusted based on how I feel not what the numbers say. I don’t want to feel like he can’t do anything because I don’t have health insurance; I want him to give me all my options and let me decide. Hopefully this guy meets all this criteria or I’ll be looking for another.
I’ve not been following the low carb lifestyle lately and it’s showing. The clarity and energy I had is gone and I’m more sluggish and tired. I know how to eat low carb, at least the basics, I just have to decide to make better choices. And I need to eat more vegetables. I’m seriously lacking in that category.
This blog is beginning to get depressing again. I hope to stop focusing on all the negative and tell the positive stories too. My life as his slut in training it hard but it has its fantastic moments too.
I was kinda hoping for some play on Friday but maybe that’s not a good idea. If our sex is off will our play be any better?