July 2011

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Dream

Last night I slept horribly. I was in the almost sleep phase where you know you aren’t sleeping almost all night long. I feel like I have jet lag today. I don’t have issues with insomnia so I don’t know what this is. I do know I made 35 typing mistakes in this one paragraph. Oiy.

OK, so Wednesday and Thursday I went to the gym. It felt great and I hope I can keep up the habit. I didn’t go today because of the sleep issue, but if I feel better tomorrow morning I’m going to make up. I’m hoping for better sleeping, healthier active life and maybe, just maybe some weight loss. How knows!

The low carb eating is coming along. Some days I stay within my range and others I’m slightly above, but I’m not craving as badly as I thought I would. I am craving though. I hope that goes away soon. The burgers I made rock! They have bacon and cheese and green onions in them; very tasty. I ate them with Oopsie rolls as the bun and that was great. The Burger Scramble Florentine is bland but I can’t figure out what spices it needs to liven it up. Salt definitely. I’m going to be trying faux “rice” again soon as well.

This week’s training:

  • I brushed my teeth 3 times so far. Once more and I’ve met my goal for the week.
  • I only swept the bathroom floor once, and it appears that everyday will be overkill. The cats aren’t making as much of a litter mess as I thought. I’ll cut it back to twice a week and see how it goes.
  • I wore makeup every day this week except for today. Master especially noted the purple look I did yesterday as one he liked. I must remember that.
  • A few more “Master”s have been used. I’m getting better I think.

Overall, a pretty decent week I think. No plans for the weekend and Master has had this whole week off for the most part. He’s having a grand time playing first person shooters in his office. Maybe I can stop being so tired and get some play in. It’s been awhile and I’m aching for it.

A little spanking of flogging, caning for sure. That’s what I hope for.

–lunaKM

Sweat

I got up and went to the gym this morning. I worked up a good sweat and had lots of energy for the day.

When I got home I got ready to do some writing. Spent the entire afternoon working hard at a cafe and got a ton of writing work done.

That’s about the extent of my day. It’s one of those kinds of days.

–lunaKM

Cicadas Chirping

Master has had today and will have tomorrow off work. He worked all of Saturday and part of Sunday which really stank. He’s put in so many hours and been on call for support so often that it’s been stressful for us. I can hope that the next milestones will be better planned so that he doesn’t have to work like this again in the near future.

Saturday, upon returning from a trip out of the house, I pounced on Master as soon as the door was shut. I didn’t even turn the lights on. I just leaned in and started kissing him, touching him all over and then with his increased interest I started taking his shirt off. That lead to quickly shedding our clothing – each of us taking each other’s off and then moving in front of the balcony window to fuck. I wanted to pretend that people could see us fucking (even though the lights were out). It was so fucking hot! We did it with my hands and face pressed against the glass for awhile, then thrown over the arm of the couch. We finished off in the bedroom, still with no lights on. Now that was considered kinky for us, we rarely do it without the lights on! Even days later I’m still thinking that it was so damned hot, like a few of my fantasies rolled into one!

Then, later that night as I was sleeping, Master comes into bed, throws the covers off and presses something cold against my neck and tells me not to move. He ‘rapes’ me all the while I’m trying to figure out what metal like object is pressed against my throat (turns out it was the safety shears), trying not to make a sound or move. Again, it was so damned sexy hot!

We went to see Captain America yesterday. It was okay. Master really enjoyed it, but well, I really loved Iron Man and each of these pre-Avengers movies has been different. I prefer the Iron Man ones I guess. So, go see it. I won’t give a glowing endorsement but it was quite entertaining.

Today I went grocery shopping but that’s all I got done. I meant to do some writing and that never happened. I put my back out (not nearly as bad as when I fell) so I’ve been resting this afternoon/evening. I had really hoped to do a fun slutty blow job for Master at his request but that’s been postponed until my back is up to it. Hopefully tomorrow, as it’s already feeling better.

It always seems like I’m hurting myself when I’m expected to treat Master to some sexy fun, but I don’t do it intentionally. Right now I’m sure my back is having issues because of the fall and because of the weight it’s having to deal with on a daily basis. Once I can work on that I should be better and more active.

Speaking of active I really need to go to the gym. I did find a few workout videos on Netflix I’d like to try (yoga) for those days that going to the gym seems like too much. There’s even a yoga video for people with health conditions. Who knows. I’ve always wanted to try yoga for the stretching and balance improvement.

The training I plan to focus on this week:

  • Teeth brushing, at least 4 times this week.
  • Sweep the bathroom floor everyday.
  • Use “Master” more frequently, especially when asking questions and answering questions.
  • Apply makeup everyday.

This week’s dinner menu:

Monday – Bacon Wrapped Meatloaf

Tuesday – Smothered Chicken

Wednesday – Ham Pasta Lasagna

Thursday – Chicken Enchilada Bake (1 w/tortillas, 1 without)

Friday – Pizza with LC cheese crust

Saturday – Battered fish sticks for Master, shrimp for me

Sunday – Marinated steak kebabs

This week I hope to cut my carb cravings and start really following the new eating plan. It’s going to be hard. I cave in easily. Hopefully I’ll be able to remain accountable with my food log at SparkPeople.com (I’m lunaKM there too).

–lunaKM

Yesterday was another hard day for Master. He’s been working his tail off lately and today he says he’ll be working again. I really hate when he has to work like this because of a deadline that he didn’t know about. The stress that I can feel off of him makes me almost paranoid that I’m not doing enough to make him feel comfortable. And then I get him annoyed because I’m constantly asking him if there is anything I can do for him.

I have gotten a lot of work done recently and I’m starting to be more serious about writing a book. It’s just that the idea of writing a book seem so huge and it’s scary. I’m making a list of posts that did well on Submissive Guide to help me focus and then I’ll come up with the topic for the book. I can then fill out the book proposal plan that I got in April from a book publisher who was interested in me. We’ll see from there.

Today I’m going to be spending a mother/daughter day out and about while Master works. Mom wants to come up and eat lunch and go shopping. I’m sure we’ll have a great time. It’s been a long time since we’ve had a day like this.

I’m not as dedicated to the low-carb eating this week as I was last week. I’m listening to my cravings for carbs instead of finding other things to eat. I need to watch that. And I need to not experiment with recipes yet. I forgot to pre-cook grated cauliflower for a taco pie I was making and when it came out had that funny sweet raw cauliflower flavor. Ick.  Oh but I made fried “rice” for my chinese stir fry dinner and it rocked! I’ll definitely be doing that one again. Tonight I hope to make Parmesean Chicken. It won’t be low carb because I don’t have almond flour and will have to use bread crumbs but I’m sure that it will be just as tasty. (See, not as focused. That and almond flour is crazy expensive for my food budget right now –  $9.99 a pound.)

This week has been kinda shoddy at the rules/training. Master has been lax on them because of his stressful work schedule and I’ve not held them up for myself. Is that a bad thing? I don’t know. He basically suspended the tv time rule (although I don’t go too far over every day, I’ve been averaging 5 hours, which is my weekend allotment). I have been brushing my teeth 3 times this week. I know I wanted to do more but maintaining is still scoring in my book. I’ve not swept the bathroom floor once. That’s just ick. I need to fix that one ASAP.

I asked to take my collar off yesterday. I had developed a sweat rash on the back of my neck and it was hurting. It’s still off today and I feel a lot lighter and don’t have anything to fiddle with when I’m thinking right now. Once the rash heals up it’s going right back on, that’s for sure. I don’t have the same sort of connection with it as other submissives might. I know what it means but I also know that if I’m not wearing I’m still his. He said last night, “You still have your wedding ring” and he’s right. I still wear a sign of his commitment to me and mine to him everyday.

I’m back at the gym. It was hard, very hard.

–lunaKM

Continued efforts using the Training with Ms Abernathy workbook.

This lesson is about starting a journal to talk about the training I am undergoing and anything that needs to be revealed to my trainer (Master) that I am having difficulty expressing. Ms Abernathy recommends a hand written journal and I have one of those for stressful times or for things I don’t want to say to Master. It’s my completely private journal. However, for this task, why not use what I’m already using.  I’m going to have to say that I’m already excelling at this task as this blog is almost 7 years old. The lesson goes on to recommend that I say my affirmation prior to and immediately after writing in my journal to help me to focus on what I should be writing. If you might recall, my affirmation from lesson 1 is:

I choose to live my life in submission and service to Master.

I think about this mantra a lot, however I’ve never consciously said it prior to anything. I know and understand the value of doing so, so I may add this to my already growing self-training list and see how it goes.

The next exercise in this lesson is one that I am not going to do. It says it’s for slaves that want to start voice training and I too will be doing some voice training but…

the lesson says to stop capitalizing I and then later stop addressing myself in the first person. Master and I abhor altered English grammar and thus will not be doing that part of voice training. Besides I think, for me, it would be silly to say “this slut has washed the dishes, Master” type of thing. So… on to the next lesson which will begin basic voice training.

–lunaKM

 

Worship

Have I said recently that Master is the best sex I’ve ever had. He’s been so very sexy and we’ve had an awesome time yesterday.  I have a few scratch marks on my back from a bit of fun yesterday. And Monday he used the Hitachi to force orgasms from me. It rocked.

But back to how awesome Master is in bed. I think he’s a natural. He came to me with very little experience and rocked my world from the first time.  Now I can believe that you can learn to be good in bed, but from the start? That’s a lucky me!

And his cock, can I say perfect? I’m so in love with it and him. I’m driven with lust for his dick and I’m always looking at it. He notices it. And likes it.

There’s so much about having sex with Master that I’m so in love with. He knows me, he listens to me and he sees everything that my body does. He can read me and sometimes knows more about how I’m responding than I am.

It’s not just sex, even when we call it fucking. It’s more, it is everything and it is so hot.

I can be the slut I want to be but am embarrassed to admit. I can let myself go and not worry about how things should be progressing. I can tell him all my dirty secrets and he loves it. That look in his eyes tells me so.

I’m in lust. And Master is my addiction.

–lunaKM

We are in a heat wave. This must be what hell feels like, if there is a hell. The heat wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t so darned humid! The warning lasts till Thursday evening. Ugh. We’ve been trying to stay cool, but since we already live naked. Can’t take any more clothing off. It’s also hindering the sex. It’s just too hot or sex.

Master and I slept horribly last night. The cats were running all over and then at 6:30am they started meowing at me to get up and feed them. I kicked them out at 7:30am and then slept ’til almost 10am. That’s insane for me. Then I took a nap.

Oh, but I needed that nap after Master got the Hitachi out and forced 5 orgasms from me. The first 2 were fantastic, the last 3 were intense sensations and painful yet hot. Very hot. I love when Master does that to me, even if by the time he relents and gives me mercy I’m exhausted, pussy drenched and throbbing and body aching from all the thrashing, my throat sore from all the screams and moans. It was definitely worth the nap I took.

I went to the cafe today and got a lot of work done. I have a ton more to do (as always) but I feel good with what I’ve accomplished today.  I had been worried about not getting enough done and now I think I just might be ahead by the end of the week. That’s good news since I can tackle the things Master wants me to finish before I get a new laptop. And I want that new laptop badly. (And a ereader or tablet, but that’s not in the deal… yet.)

Book of Days for week 7-18-11

  • Outside my window… It’s hot, so hot that at 9:45pm it still says it’s 90 degrees out. Ick.
  • my thoughts… are on sex. I want sex, lots of sex.
  • i am thankful for… Master’s hard work so that we can afford the things we want in life.
  • From my service training… I can officially take off the nightly dishwashing from my training list. I’ve done great at it :)
  • From the kitchen… Steak kebabs, Curry/Stir fry, Tacos, Chicken Parmesean, Pizza w/ low carb cheese crust
  • i am wearing… my wedding rings and nothing else!
  • i am creating… nothing is on my needles right now, but I plan to get 2 more knit squares done this week for my afghan.
  • my adventures this week… the social security office to get my name changed on my card!
  • Becoming well read… Well I finished the book I was reading for review on Submissive Guide and I haven’t picked out the next one yet.
  • i manifest and co-create… feeling healthy and happy in my low carb lifestyle changes
  • Todays Melody… The theme song to “That 70′s Show” I’ve been watching it way too much lately!
  • One of my favorite things… The Hickory Park sides list has dill pickle slices. I whole bowl of pickles! That is so much better than french fries :)
  • further plans for this week… pay the bills, work on more low carb week menus and make cheese crisps, green bean fries

Training for this Week:

  • Make up routine better
  • Brush my teeth more than 3 times a week.
  • Use Master’s title when asking him a question or addressing him every single time.
  • Sweep the bathroom floor every day (new)

–lunaKM

 

The Finale

We are going to Harry Potter tonight so I’m blogging earlier than I normally do. I’m so excited! Master even treated me to greasy burgers for dinner!

I’m struggling to finish the book I was reading for a review this month on Submissive Guide. It’s not that it’s a bad book, per se, but that it’s not my style of book. Since I write the reviews as my opinion this is likely to not be a great review from me when I finally finish the book. (I’m not telling what book it is now, you’ll have to wait till the review on subguide.)

Master has been working really hard this week on a work project. He always works hard but I can see it pressing when he has a deadline. He has been pushing me to work harder on Submissive Guide plans and has now offered me a prize for making a certain bit of progress. He says he will get me a new laptop of my own choosing should I reach this goal. I’m thrilled with this and certain that I will push myself hard to accomplish all that he wants me to so that this dying laptop that I am currently using will pass on and perhaps I can get a girly, feminine laptop :P

I would reflect on my training but it has been given a bit of leeway since we were under stress. Now that the stress is being lifted then I will be back into my role just as firm as I was. I realize that I should not relax in my duties, but also understand that a relationship ebbs and flows. And we are both perfectly happy right now with the state of our love and commitment.

–lunaKM

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