Master has been shifting to what he calls slave training with me. His authority is a visible reminder that our relationship is shifting.
It’s become quite apparent that I’ve been pushing my opinion and thoughts on him and circumventing his authority for quite some time. And until recently he’s almost always let it go. Not anymore. So I’ve slowly become more aware with what I’ve been doing. It’s been hard when he reminds me of what I’m doing as I’m doing it. Letting go of this “power” is going to change me for the better.
It disturbs me a bit to know that I’ve been so controlling and he’s allowed me and I’ve abused. I’m supposed to be learning and growing as a submissive and while I know I have a long way to go I thought I could be a bit better. At what standard so I want to hold myself? Should I hold myself to a higher standard than others? Why? I’m no different than any other submissive wanting to be the slave for her Master. I have unique and special skills and that’s why he wants me.
You know, it’s encouraging that he wants to put the work into the changes that he does. It’s a lovely and wonderful thing to see the love and control abound. I know we will achieve great and beautiful things together.
I’ve been sick today. Nausea, dizziness, fatigue, severe headache, muscle aches and general malaise. Hopefully it will subside soon. I can’t explain what it is I just don’t want to be sick anymore.
I wanna me sexy and lusty and used to exhaustion. I’ve waited long enough. Master has waited long enough. It’s time we have some fun!