Today I’ve spent most of the time suffering from a headache. I’m quick to believe that it’s a carb withdrawal headache. I took Tylenol early in the day, took a nap and then at 4pm Master told me to take some Migraine meds. That seems to have done the best to dampen the pain. I always rate my pain on a scale of 1 to 10 and until 4pm it was at a 7+. I feel horrible that I didn’t get anything accomplished but I also know that Master would have been upset with me if I had not taken care of myself. I’ll just have to play catch up tomorrow.
I did do some knitting today. I’m working on making a snood for my bad hair days instead of doing a ponytail. It will give my hair an appearance of looking nicer than just a ponytail and I think Master might like it. I’m knitting it and it’s black lacey/bobbles.
I’ve begun the process of adding my ebooks that I sell on Submissive Guide to the Kindle Library. You’ll be able to buy them for you Kindle in a day or two. That should be awesome! I’m really excited about it and can’t believe I took so long to figure that out. I’ve also posted another video to my Youtube channel for subguide. I wish I had done more of them before now, but we’ll see what the future holds.
Master and I will be going to a munch this weekend. It’s going to be a panel discussion on relationships and D/s. We might end up on the panel, we might not. I’ve been told that this munch method goes over really well but I have to wonder if anyone will even be there with the holiday weekend. I enjoy munches immensely. I get to socialize and look forward to them all month long.
On the healthy front, I entered in the food I ate today in my food log and I think I did okay. I’ll keep watching it to make sure I’m consistent. Low carb is difficult to learn but I’m chucking along with information and recipes so it should do great. I brought up to Master that he’s got a small amount of vegetables that he’ll actually eat (peas and carrots) so I feel he’ll get bored sooner than I will. I’m not much of a lettuce fan, but I do have a larger vegetable list.
Training Items I Noticed:
- Brushing my teeth… is still hit or miss. More miss because Master has been sick and then I’ve been feeling icky so the temptation to kiss him has been down. That’s what’s driving me though- more kissing.
- I wore makeup yesterday and today. It was minimal but it made me feel good that I remembered to do it without his reminding me.
- I’ve done a little better with trying to talk to Master from another room, but not good enough. I’ll keep watching myself.
- Next, using “Master” more often. I gloss over addressing him a lot and I know that is not applying the rule completely. My hope is that the improvement will also keep me in my submissive mindset better.
The new name of my blog is “A Slut Wife in Training”. It goes along with what Master calls me now that I’m his wife and I really like it. It’s a lot like cunt and baby. It makes me feel all wonderful inside.
I think it will also make me feel freer to talk about the “wife” side of things like domestics and lifestyle changes and everything else that becomes my day.
I’ve also moved my blog to Kinky-Blogging host. I picked a different theme- nothing quite so personalized but it works for what I’m going to use it for. I will probably be going through my archives and re-tagging posts that are interesting or popular. That of course will take time when there are almost 2000 posts!
I hope you like the changes.
If you like to my blog and feel inclined to- please update your links to reflect the new name of the blog. Thanks.
Starting out today I tried to make homemade hamburger/hot dog buns but I think I heated the milk mixture too hot and then killed my yeast because it never rose. Opps. The trials of a novice baker. Of course since we are trying low carb it’s almost a blessing that it didn’t work. But then again, we are being very frugal with the food budget until the next paycheck so food wasted is still food wasted. I feel bad that I made a mistake. I should be more cautious next time.
Master has decided that I will not be making hamburgers anymore. He’s not liked any permutation that I come up with so it’s no longer on the preferred menu. Oh well. I’m sure I’ll come up with other things to make. I’ve found a really nice site full of low carb recipes that I’m pouring over in my free time. I hope to try most of the recipes that we’ll enjoy and maybe I’ll share them here too. I know the ones that I want to remember will go on my Household Notebook.
I’ve been working on the idea of changing this blog a bit. The content wouldn’t be different but I think I’m ready for a change of look and a new name. I’m not sure when it will come out but it could be soon. We’ll see. The reason for the shift is to make me more comfortable posting about everything in my life instead of trying to fit into the BDSM aspect of our relationship. I find myself censoring the everyday things like simple living, frugality, dieting and whatnot on a regular basis as long as this site is pointed directly at BDSM with it’s title. Don’t worry, I’ll still talk about the kink of our life together but I’ll be more comfortable with the other things in my life also.
Master has had a bit of a cold the past few days which have made our time together very intermittent. He’s slowly recovering but I know he’s miserable. I’m not feeling sick yet so perhaps I’ll be able to hold it off.
Training items I noticed today:
- I’m shouting into the other rooms to talk to Master instead of getting up off my fat ass and going to him to talk. That has to stop. It’s making Master angry and he’s expressed his concern a number of times.
- The dishes are getting done every night before I go to bed which is great since the cats are not adjusting as quickly as I had hoped for their new feeding schedule. This way they don’t have any dishes to get into at night.
- Brushing my teeth is still not as frequent as it should be. I need to work on this one harder. I want more make out sessions and this is definitely holding me back!
- I didn’t wear makeup today. I gotta get into the habit to wear the bare minimum every single day. The bare minimum to me is eye shadow/liner and lipstick.
The past couple of days have been cool and rainy. It’s been a lovely change from the heat we had previous to that.
Master has a bit of a cold he’s fighting. Money is tight. Thankfully we have no plans for awhile. We’ll stay right here and entertain ourselves and he can recover.
I’ve asked Master if we can play soon and he’s thrilled. We haven’t played since before the wedding so it’s about time. I’m hoping this weekend will be perfect. We don’t play very often anyway and it’s funny how many people think that since we are 24/7 that we play all the time.
I’ve been doing a lot of reading about low carb living. There’s only so much we are willing to change so it will definitely be modified. I could see us doing a no potatoes, white bread, white rice sort of thing to start. Then work on less sugar. We already have more veggies and fruit in the house. I eat the veggies, he eats the fruit. That makes it a balanced diet, right?
I’ve tried South Beach dieting before with mixed results. I can’t figure out why it failed; perhaps I was doing something wrong or that the calorie counting was too drastic. My sugar withdrawal was so bad that I was physically ill for days. I wasn’t ready to do that again.
And then I watched a comedy documentary on Netflix called “Fat Head” (website) and it changed the way I look at the way I eat. Not only that, I wanted to help Master eat that way too. Fat Head is a movie response by Tom Naughton to the popular “Super Size Me” by Morgan Spurlock. The movie challenges the science behind the movie and gives you some cold hard facts about the way we’ve been over-consuming sugars, starches and processed oils. It hit me so deeply, especially since he had scientists and nutritionists that were admitting the FDA has it wrong that I wanted nothing to do with the way I was eating.
I have to admit, I watched Super Size Me and believed it when I first watched it. Sure you can gain weight from eating nothing but fast food, but the movie lacked science. Tom Naughton took that movie apart – proving that Spurlock’s logic was flawed and he likely lied about the amount of food he consumed during his 20-some days on the diet. Tom also ate only fast food, but logically and healthily and lost weight. I’ve been sold on eating low carb.
Why? Well, evolution quite simply. Our bodies have not evolved to handle the food that we now produce. Flour and sugar are actually relatively new to the food list. Our bodies are equipped to handle meat, fat and vegetables. If you can hunt it or gather it that’s the food our bodies know what to do with. Potatoes and rice are okay too, but the are moderation starches. Bread was not as common either.
I’m going to try to make potatoes, rice, bread and those products the lesser part of my diet. I’ll bring more meat, natural fats and vegetables up to the bulk and see how it goes.
And so here I am. I’m just starting with a bunch of reading and researching and recipe finding right now but I hope that I can change the way we eat and that it improves our health too. The diets I’ve begun to look into are Low Carb, “No White Diet”, The Zone and the Paleo Diet.
I’ve spent some time today thinking about changing this blog a bit. There’s so much content here that I’d like to just archive. Sort of start fresh but not lose what I’ve already written. I don’t know how that would work so I’m still pondering it. I’ve written about dieting here and then stopped. I’ve written about simple living here and then not so much. What’s the point of this blog now that it’s not as useful for Master and I as a novice couple?
It’s a record of my evolution, that’s certain. And I’m not done evolving. Master has this thought that I’ll be shifting to a slave (or trying to reach his expectations of a slave). It’s evident that he’s already been working on it.
I’m also changing as a person, wife and woman. These stories could be interesting to people.
I don’t know.
Master has been shifting to what he calls slave training with me. His authority is a visible reminder that our relationship is shifting.
It’s become quite apparent that I’ve been pushing my opinion and thoughts on him and circumventing his authority for quite some time. And until recently he’s almost always let it go. Not anymore. So I’ve slowly become more aware with what I’ve been doing. It’s been hard when he reminds me of what I’m doing as I’m doing it. Letting go of this “power” is going to change me for the better.
It disturbs me a bit to know that I’ve been so controlling and he’s allowed me and I’ve abused. I’m supposed to be learning and growing as a submissive and while I know I have a long way to go I thought I could be a bit better. At what standard so I want to hold myself? Should I hold myself to a higher standard than others? Why? I’m no different than any other submissive wanting to be the slave for her Master. I have unique and special skills and that’s why he wants me.
You know, it’s encouraging that he wants to put the work into the changes that he does. It’s a lovely and wonderful thing to see the love and control abound. I know we will achieve great and beautiful things together.
I’ve been sick today. Nausea, dizziness, fatigue, severe headache, muscle aches and general malaise. Hopefully it will subside soon. I can’t explain what it is I just don’t want to be sick anymore.
I wanna me sexy and lusty and used to exhaustion. I’ve waited long enough. Master has waited long enough. It’s time we have some fun!
I’ve been busy with errands all day today. Now I’m exhausted. We’ve got some good food now though. All the bills are paid that were overdue. Yay! It’s a good day.
I think that the amount of carbs and processed sugars we’ve had for the past 2 weeks has made us both lethargic and cranky. It should improve once we get some good food in us. I’ve been seriously considering cutting down the carbs I eat. That means more protein and veggies. I think I can do that. I doubt I can get rid of all carbs, but just reducing it might help me with my energy.
Getting back to the gym would help too and I plan to do that Monday. I’ve got to get my snoring down so that Master and I can sleep together again.
Tomorrow we have a full day of BDSM meetings. There is a M/s meeting in the afternoon talking about communication and then in the evening there is another gathering with a party afterwards. There should be a lot of hanging out and talking tomorrow.
I’m back to knitting again. I’ve dreamed of making an afghan coverlet for the bed in the color scheme that I want the bedroom to be in. I’m not sure how far I’ll get before my wrists give out again but I’m thrilled to be doing it again.
I’m suffering from what I think is the longest PMS period in my history. I’ve had cramps and all the other crap that comes along with the pre-period fiasco since the 6th. And still no period. Ugh.
What more do I have to say today. Nothing. Just…
Master is awesome!
Blame it on the hormones. Blame it on being tired. Whatever it is blamed on, I know I wasn’t thinking clearly.
This afternoon I had a crying fit because I thought that I wasn’t attractive enough for Master to want sex. That’s right. Not that I haven’t been giving the sexy vibe or that I have had the cramps from hell but that I’m not attractive. I don’t know where my mind comes up with this stuff. I’ve been so very tired today that even the smallest thing gets over-thought and I end up twisting what’s really happening.
Master is fixated a bit on his wedding ring. He keeps flashing it at me. I find it adorable. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of him. There’s just so much I love about the way he takes care of me. I’m so glad he picked me to spend his life with because I’m the luckiest girl on Earth.
The cats aren’t adjusting yet to the new food schedule. Max decided to meow in my ear at 6am, then again every 10 mins till 8am when I got up to feed them. That’s going to have to stop or he’s getting kicked out of bed.
Today was the first day the cats were put on a scheduled eating plan rather than free-eating. They went most of the day with just the bits they had spilled out of the automatic feeder and then their first full meal at dinner time. I put down 1/2 c. for each of them on separate plates. They ate maybe half of it. I know they will be hungry by tomorrow morning when they get the same treatment. I’m certain my fat cat will be hungry for most of the night but it won’t kill them to learn a new way to eat so that they stay healthier. I know the begging and sad eyes will be on full deploy for awhile as they adjust. There is no going back.
Now on to submissive things. Master has started to change things up a bit. He’s being more strict again about rules and orders and I’m having to jump in line more than once. He’s brought to my attention that I do a lot of subversive topping from the bottom that he’s just let slide until now. Now he brings it to my attention so that I can learn when I’m doing it and then it will stop or I get punished. I hope I can learn before the punishment cycle.
I didn’t finish all the dishes tonight so I will have to go to bed 15 mins earlier tomorrow – which also means getting the dishes done before that time or it’s at least 15 swats with whatever Master wants to swat me with. Ick. I have felt very good to get up in the morning and not have a pile of dishes to do. So, that’s a bonus. Once I get this habit I wonder what will be next.
I know our relationship will continue to shift in the direction that Master wants and I’m going to follow his lead as best I can. I have a lot of things I can learn and growth I can start with. I think I’m ready. Master has started so I guess he thinks I’m ready.
Let’s see where this leads.
The AC has been broken since Sunday and of course it’s reached over 90 degrees outside every single day. It’s been a miserable way to spend our first few days as husband and wife. We’ve been cranky and fixed in front of a fan – separate fans. Thankfully the weather is going to give us a break starting tonight and hopefully by Friday we’ll have a technician out here to look into our issue.
We are just waiting for the chance to go all crazy with the sex and play. Until that time our honeymoon just isn’t. I’ve been doing non-blogging things for Submissive Guide and Master has been taking time off to do nothing.
I’m thankful for all the well wishes we’ve received. I have more pictures but haven’t spent the time to do anything with them. Thank you everyone. We got the wedding license in the mail today so I can go around and change my name on my license, SSN and bank information. And then everywhere else. That I think is the most annoying thing ever but oh well.
Oh, and so you all can love it too, I added luna to my middle names! I think it’s awesome.
Since it will be cooler tomorrow I’ll finally be able to turn the oven on and make some more bread. I want to try my hands at hot dog buns and breadsticks also. Maybe I’ll make some cookies too for something to snack on.
Master wants me to put my cats on an eating schedule instead of free-feeding. Max is getting fat and that’s just not good. Zeus is healthy as a horse but he’s also more active. I’ve never done this before so if anyone has any suggestions or tips on how to shift them to eating 2-3 times a day instead of whenever I’d love to hear it. At some point I will be switching them to canned food for at least one meal a day as well. I want happy healthy kitties!
The ceremony was sweet and funny. The elder pastor who had no techological understanding tried to compare our love to Master’s work at building websites; “Your love is like a website. You work hard at it to make it look awesome and function well so that when people see your website they think, “This is awesome!”" It was funny, but not nearly as funny as when he said he was like Yoda and said, “May the force be with you always.” LOL. We enjoyed every moment and I tried in vain not to cry once the rings were on and we were ready for the final step and the first step into our new life together. The happiness and joy in Master’s face radiated like the sun and I was full of love for him. I know that it will continue.
Enjoy the pictures.
Flickr Photo Set
A happy day; lovely pictures to come. Here’s a glimpse.
Once I have time to look at all of them I’ll share a few more lovely ones from the ceremony.
I can’t express in words right now how I feel without missing the mark by a mile. I’m so jumpy and excited and unable to focus. Master will talk to me and I’ll only hear half of what he’s saying and get frustrated. We picked up the tux yesterday, got my ring cleaned. Today I bought flowers and put them together in a bouquet. That’s in the fridge now.
All that’s left is to wait for the time to arrive, and it’s hard. Master has expressed that he is excited but can’t wait for it to be over because of the stress it’s put on us emotionally. We’ve waited so long and it is finally here.
My friend L. is coming up tomorrow for lunch and then the bride/bridesmaid thing of getting ready and chatting. We’ll leave here at 4pm to get to the chapel by 5pm. Wedding at 6!
So the next time I write here I’ll be Mrs KnyghtMare!
This is a difficult lesson for me to put together. The lesson asked me to look back and find things that I know I should change about myself and my behavior and I can honestly make a very long list. But that’s because I’m very negative about myself and that’s a huge thing I need to work on.
But other things that I’ve made note of are things that Master has asked me to work on before and I haven’t taken initiative to correct them. The things I have chosen to start working on now are brushing my teeth regularly and having the dishes cleared from the counters/sink and in the dishwasher every night before I went to bed.
So, I’m now brushing my teeth every day before bed. I realize that for some of you that’s just gross, but oral hygiene was never encouraged growing up so.. I’m having to learn it now. Master promises that doing this will lead to more kissing (yeah I know it sounds horrid that my breath is that bad, but it is and I’m admitting it).
Also, and this one is harder, the dishes will be in the dishwasher before going to bed. And the process goes like this:
- Night one, if I’m late, the number of minutes is recorded.
- Night two I have to go to bed those minutes earlier. If the dishes aren’t done by that new bedtime then I will get punishment swats for the previous night’s number plus the amount of time it takes me to do the dishes that second night.
- Night three ? I dunno yet.
The next exercise for this lesson is to list 5 people I respect and look up to because of their self discipline. I’ve been thinking about this for 3 days and I can’t think of anything I look up to because of their self discipline. This one is going to take awhile. I’ll see about coming back to it before I move on to the next lesson.