Master played yesterday, although not with me. He’s got a masochistic bottom that he can be evil with in ways that I can’t process. This is the second time that he’s played with her and probably not the last. It appears to be working out well between them, and between Master and I. It’s a new experience for Master to let the evil bastard out.
Since he’s picked up someone else to beat on the edge as he calls it doesn’t creep into our play, inhibiting his ability to play with me the way I need and want. It could be a blossoming of our relationship if he’s able to express his play in more than the one way. He won’t be as limited and the evil bastard inside that I just can’t handle has somewhere to go as well.
The reason I can’t handle the bastard are quite simple really. I love Master and I know he loves me, but I just can’t process the emotions that his evil side brings out. I can’t accept it as play. You might recall a few months ago where we had a scene and one of the things is he spit on me. It just hit a nerve and I was stuck on the way I felt for days. I couldn’t get past it and realize it was just play and that Master still loves me more than I can probably fathom and his evil bastard ways are just part of him.
He’s accepted that I can’t process a lot of his mean, evil desires and that’s where his new play bottom comes in.
I still like to play, but admittedly my play is more tame and less raw emotion I guess. We still love it and feed off of each other during our play time. There’s something spiritual to me about our play, like two souls that dance in perfect harmony through pain and pleasure. Even something as simple as a spanking binds me to him just a bit more. It’s hard for me to imagine my world without him in it.