If I haven’t sung the praises of the Hitachi wand enough on this blog, then you’re in for an earful again. I just love that damn thing. Even when he cranks it on high and grinds it against my clit. It’s like sensory overload in a good way. It makes me want to scream my head off and I tend to get into explicative runs, “fuckity fuckity fuckity fuck shit oh shit” sort of fun. I think Master enjoys it when I don’t know what to do with myself and I’m all tense and then spastic and then a puddle of goo.
So we had sex too, that was in there. And we tried out the new ball gag I got from Eden Fantasys. I’ve been wanting a gag I can breath out of and we went with a ball gag with holes in it. Yay! I like it, I drool a lot with it, which I think helps with the ick and oh god hot/embarrassed sort of fun. Master enjoyed it too I think.
I came so hard that I have one of those post-coital headaches. It’s going to ride along for awhile I think. We need to go to the gym soon too. Sure I’d like to skip it; it is late. But I also want to lose weight too.
I went to the Dr today for a meds follow up. I used to like this Doctor until today. He pushed too hard.
“If you got a job and had insurance we’d be able to talk about the lap band or gastric bypass”
“Yeah, well I don’t have a job and we’ve talked about this before. You noted that I declined the insane body altering surgery before this. My mind hasn’t changed. I refuse to permanently alter the way my body processes food just so that I can starve myself into losing a few pounds. If I can’t do it on my own then obviously I’ll be fat. Deal.”
“You are really tying my hands without insurance.”
“I’m working on insurance, with the Obamacare plan I can get insurance, it just means paying off one of my old bills so I can add the premium. You can wait.”
“It’s not just about walking every once in awhile, some people need to really break a sweat on a regular basis, like the Biggest Loser.”
“That’s a reality show, that no one can live up to and I hate how they’ve been brainwashed into NOT being happy about a 3 lbs loss, that somehow if they haven’t lost at least 10 they are worthless. It’s not how real weight loss is achieved.”
I left feeling ugly, fat and horrible. He’s lost me as a patient. I’ll be looking for a new Doctor in May/June when it’s time to get more meds and blood tests. Why do Doctors not realize they need to treat the whole patient, which means also doing no emotional harm? Fuck.