March Q & A

MrJ asks, “how to help a submissive to timely hand in written assignments, if punishment helps only to a limited extent and the underlying problem is the perception that they are additional obligations in a full life?”

Simply put MrJ, to get her to write and hand in assignments on time is to make sure that it’s a priority. You and she obviously see that her life is full of other obligations, but if you really want her to focus on the written assignments you will do your best to clear time for her to do them.

Establish priorities for your submissive and express just how important your tasks are to your continued relationship. When you see her, if the written task isn’t complete, then make that the time that she has to do it. She has to sacrifice seeing you to complete something you have assigned.

If you want her to reorganize her life to fit your assignments closer to the top of the list, then help her do it. If there are kids involved offer to babysit, if the extra obligations aren’t required, then ask her to remove one from her life until she can figure out how to work your requests into her full day.

It really boils down to how important she finds your tasks. If they aren’t important to her, she will fail to move them up in the priority list. Realize that perhaps written tasks aren’t helping your relationship and choose other tasks. Or if they truly are important to you and your relationship then you must find a way to help your submissive put them where they belong.

Could it be that her already full life doesn’t have room for the written assignments or is it that she just doesn’t want to do them so she finds them a chore? You really didn’t say. Get to the bottom of it first. If it’s her attitude toward the chore then you have work to do. If she really doesn’t have time to fulfill your wishes, does she have time to do anything else related to your tasks?

–luna

1 comment

  1. Mr J’s avatar

    Thank you for your insightful response.
    The bottom line is: while she keeps telling that it really helps her, in various respects, to reflect with the accuracy associated with writing it up, precisely writing on these matters is what she still need to get used to. I conclude from your response that I need to do work: keep being both (increasingly) strict and, through adequate feedback, supportive.
    Best

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