I took some time alone for me today. I asked Master last night if I could go to Panera (my alternate work environment) today and he said I could. This morning I was so very glad that I got to go. I think he was too. I was being moody, ignoring him and just on my own. Since I’ve been here I’ve felt more relaxed and I’ve been able to get a lot of things done that I know would have been a struggle at home.
This isn’t to say that Master and I are having problems, because we aren’t. Our love is so powerful that I still have moments where I can do nothing but blush and smile and think of how lucky I am to have him in my life. I couldn’t have asked for more. Planning a wedding that declares this love is turning out to be a challenge. He wants simple and I want a lot of symbolism. I’m driving him nuts with all the wedding TV I’m watching. I’m looking forward to booking the ceremony site and the photographer next month. Yay! Follow that up shortly with the reception location and the dress. It’s that close.
Last night I played a little role play with Master. He’s not really into role-play; it doesn’t do anything for him so I knew it had to be simple. He was a rockstar and I was his groupie. Pretty easy to get into really and I had a blast. Apparently his groupie is naughty in bed and loves to talk dirty *blush*
The past few months I’ve been considering the possibility that I might have PMS induced depression or PMDD. I’m going to talk to my Dr next month when I go in for thyroid bloodwork and renewal of meds. Master has said several times that he wishes I was on anti-depressants during my period so I have that to work with. PMS is coming and I really hate how I feel leading up to it and during that I’m certain that I’ll be pushing for answers at the Dr.
Master has applied for a job, in California. It makes me happy for him and nervous at the same time. Planning a wedding from a distance will be hell if it comes to that. If he gets the job, then that’s a step in the right direction for him. I want to support him, but I want the easy road, ya know? I’ll go where he leads, I’m just hesitant since the wedding is still so far off. I guess we could move it up right quick if necessary….
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