Yesterday after a rocky start to the day Master and I reconnected. We reconnected a lot! Heh.
During one of our hot steamy reconnections my mind kept screaming thoughts to him, things I wanted him to do to me. For the most part I tend to keep these things silent. Besides, if he’s playing with my clit for example, and I get this urge to have him grind his whole hand against my pubic bone it’s just not something I’m going to tell him because he’s having a great time doing what he’s doing and I’m not NOT enjoying it. It’s hard to explain really.
Last night we played with the fantasy I have of more than one guy. Master was filling in for all of them of course. In the heat of a really good moment I had one of those silent screams that I wanted him to do something. I wanted him to make me suck his dick. It was part of my fantasy usually and so I licked my lips and looked at him. I said it, I actually voiced what I wanted him to do and OMG it was hot!
I’m not sure what keeps me from voicing these things, if there is some residual feeling that I’d be topping from the bottom or that it’s embarrassment and shame that I’m such a cock hungry slut at times. Master likes to make me blush by taking note of my slutty behavior and having me repeat him. It’s a hot uncomfortable feeling. I get that same feeling when the inner voice screams for something that would make me even more a slut.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being Master’s slut, but when I find myself aiding the very thing that makes me embarrassed I keep it hiding. Does anyone else feel embarrassed by their own sexual desires as I do? Probably, but it’s also encouraged in our dynamic. He loves humiliating me sexually and gets off on making me repeat his dirty talk, pointing out how wet I’ve gotten or how loud I’m moaning. And I love it.
So, do I try to voice those inner screams more often and make myself even more slutty? I’m sure Master will ask me to do so. And I will have to break down that barrier and try.
–luna
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I'm a large, curvy, lustful submissive learning the ropes in a full time D/s relationship. My explorations with love and life and BDSM have brought me closer to the edge of pain and pleasure, deep desires for rope bondage and debauchery but moreso a desire to delve deeper into submission and service to my Master 
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I think you look the best in the mugshot with the red shirt. That lipstick makes your eyes seem really bright and the wispy hair locks soften the pulled back hairdo.
Glad you and your Master reconnected!
I am sure you WANT ypour Master to make you voice those inner screams.
Luna,
I have the same trouble with my inner slut.
I want to touch my Master, or stroke his head with my hand, run my fingers through his hair, all these I am afraid of doing, would they be over stepping my bounds? doing them without permission, and if I ask..would he let me?
About my inner voice, its very slutty indeed! My mind is a filthy dirty thing and of course like you…that adds to our character.
Thats why they love humiluating us and making us say that we are just dirty little cocksucking whores……I blush at those as well, but I know its true and I love being his dirty little whore…..I wouldn’t change it.
So lets make a deal, we will both use our little slutty voices more, and see just how hot our Masters’ can get, when they don’t have to prompt us.
This is what I call staying one step ahead of him. Anticipating what he might want, need, desire, before he can verbalize it.
Keep clear of the snow….we have about 6″s so far…more to come.
smiles….Tom’s cunt…..diana
Luna,
I love your makeup pictures.
The one with the red lips, in the red shirt is HOT!!!!!
The one with your hair down and the pink lips is very much a teasing pic.
I like your hair up in the others, but the make up is just not as bold.
You are so beautiful naturally….and it shows……you just need either your eyes to pop or your lips…..and you are set.
Go with the slutty red lips…….Thats just hot!
smiles…Tom’s cunt….diana
Master would agree about the red lips. We just got another shade of pure red that I’ll be trying out tomorrow. So watch for that mugshot!