Red, Pink and Yellow

Master is such a wonderful man. I’m feeling so full of love and affection towards him. I’ve been lost in the clouds today and while it’s really not clear why I know that some of my thoughts have been about the fact that I’m going to be with this man for the rest of my life and how perfect that is.

I’ve been going through wedding stuff and Master opened up the door to talking about it so I’ve been bringing him ideas all evening. Red, pink and yellow seem to be the colors I’m settling on. I love the idea of having flowers, lots of flowers. I have invitations bookmarked that I like, a cake I JUST saw that looks awesome. Oh and these favors I saw (that Master isn’t thrilled about) that are plantable seed cards. How cool to give them wildflowers to plant!! Maybe he’ll like them later.

__

On the D/s front…. One of the things I’m supposed to do is remember to clean the drain of my hair in the shower (gross, I know). We’ll I’m on strike 2 of 3 and if I get in trouble again I’ll be bathing out of the sink for a week. Ick. He’s been easy on me for domestic chores as I’ve noted, but I know that’s over. I have to get my butt in gear for next week.

–luna

I'm still waiting for the ring

Master and I are in a dangerous mood. We want to go spend money willy nilly. The scary part is that neither of us would stop the other, I don’t think, and we’d be living on bread and water until his next paycheck. It would be bad.

Besides… we have plans for March. We want to go take a look at ceremony venues and place a deposit if we like the one that I’ve been oggling from online. I want to go see my friends in Des Moines and talk wedding stuff. Mom wants to have lunch with ‘the girls’ and share new baby news and engagement news. We have lots of things going on hopefully for next month.

Master has been really sweet to me this week. I’ve had PMS from hell and he’s been a bit lax on me for my domestic duties. I know I’ll get back into the mess of it once the cramps fade so that I can function. (Why do I hear in my head that ‘trwoo’ slaves would work just as hard during their cramps, so get over it?) Master treats me special, I’m spoiled. So there.

We’ve been exercising. It’s good. Both of us want to tone or lose weight for the wedding and if we start now we’re sure to get there. I hope the momentum will continue. I have a goal of at least 5 inches around the waist that I want to drop. More would be good, but 5 would put me in a dress size that I’d likely find more sample dresses to try on in. Master has already noticed a change in his belt. I can’t tell a thing about me since I’m a bloated as a whale. Hopefully I’ll be able to tell next week if I’m feeling leaner. I know I’m happy to be exercising. It feels good.

Oh and for those of you who have asked for pictures of the ring… it’s due back from the Jeweler on the 2nd.

–luna

Sometimes it's a blah kind of day

The PMS I’m suffering this time is horrible. I’m tired of the cramps and bloating and painful boobies. I’m really tired of the feelings of depression and hell. I wish my period would just start.

Master could see my need to be alone today and granted my permission to go to Panera for the afternoon. It was nice and while I didn’t do a lot of work I think I came home feeling better than I started.

I’m also still driving Master nuts with wedding ideas. He told me he wasn’t talking about it today and except for a couple of times that I brought it up I think I did a good job. We should be getting a call to let us know that the ring is back and ready for pick up. That will be an exciting day.

That’s about all that’s going on here right now.

–luna

Really Happy

This week we’ve spent letting the family know of our engagement. It’s been a pretty overwhelmingly positive response. I’m really happy and it makes planning a wedding that much more exciting. Master is hoping to have his family come over from England and I would love to meet his mother at least.

I’ve changed my status on Facebook and FetLife to declare my love for Master and our engagement. Next week I’ll be able to flash my ring to everyone; it should be back from being sized by next Friday. Master has said on several occasions that he can’t wait to see the ring on my finger. I think that is when I’ll have my OMG moment. Then it just might set in.

Our sex life this week has been lacking and it’s mostly my fault. I’m not feeling it, and then today I woke with cramps ramped up to an 11. On meds they sit at a 6. Not exactly lust creating. But that doesn’t mean I’m not horny; on the contrary. But the idea of his cock pounding my cervix is scary. Today he asked me if I could put my hands behind my head to survey for bondage purposes and told me his desire to put the hood on me, tie my hands behind my head and face-fuck me. That’s coming soon, I know it.

If you are on my RSS reader you are most likely getting bombarded by my recipe additions. I’ve decided to put my recipe box online so that my favorite recipes are all in one place… and heck I can share them with you! There’s a link on the left for my Recipe Box if you are interested.

–luna

Red is the New White

Thank you everyone for your congratulations on our engagement. Master has set a June 2011 wedding date so that his family can save to come over from England if they want. In the meantime instead of just enjoying being engaged I’m driving him insane with wedding ideas and questions about his idea of a wedding. Oiy I’m so excited though, I really am.

My heart beats really fast thinking about marrying Master. I admit though that I’m not at the OMG moment where I realize that I’m getting married, ya know? It hasn’t sunk in yet. I’m still floating on cloud nine. I’m going to have a diamond on my finger and Master is committed to being my husband as well as my Master. It’s just the best feeling in the world.

I’m not wearing white, that’s been decided. It’s my second wedding so I wouldn’t anyway, but Master wants me in red; so red it will be. I am looking at wedding dresses to decide the style of dress I want and I’m thinking ballgown with a flat front. Not sure about strapless as I have these horrible fat pockets under my arms that I just can’t hide. Maybe I could get an alteration to add shoulder swags to cover that. Guess I’ll worry about that when I actually find a dress, right?

I’m not making a separate blog to talk wedding stuff so I apologize ahead of time if you get tired of it.

I’m working towards losing weight before I go dress shopping next winter. I have a goal to have a waist size under 50 inches and I think I could get it down to 46 with effort. That would be 8 inches down in the waist alone. Master exercised with me too, it makes me feel good. Food will change too I know.

Lots of changing going on!

–luna

The New Meaning in Valentine's Day

If you’ve been online at all in the past 12 hours, you may already know that Master and I are now engaged. It’s been a fantastic night of love and romance and passion. Along with giddy childish grins and laughs. He says that’s cute. Which makes me blush even more.

We went out for lunch yesterday, something we commonly do for Valentine’s Day. I commented that Master appeared to be doing a lot of thinking during lunch; he just had that lost in though look. He said no, he wasn’t thinking about anything. We enjoyed our lunch, held hands across the table. When lunch was done and the plates were cleared away he shifted in his seat and I thought he was getting up to go the the restroom when he got down on his knee, my hand still in his.

I admit I stuttered and in an embarrassed question, “Is this cheesy?”

He said he could just get back up, which I told him no to stay.

By then I was grinning and it had only been a split second. He looked into my eyes and asked, “Will you marry me?” and as steady as I could I said “Yes, I will marry you Master.” We kissed and held each other’s hands even tighter.  Master said he wanted to go ring shopping right then, and so off we went to the jewelry store that I prefer (for their customer service).

The first ring I looked at I loved and when I put it on it was even prettier. I tried on several more, and other enhancing rings and different other styles but kept going back to that first one. So that’s what we got. It’s being sized and I’ll get it back in about 10-14 days.  Then, of course, I’ll share a picture. I’ve never had a diamond before; it’s really exciting!

Once home we had the red velvet cake I had made that morning for Valentine’s and some sparkling wine. We celebrated with some light play and enjoyed each other’s bodies. Bliss could never be better.

The issues I bring up on this blog are hardly ever as bad as they seem. Master is always telling me I’m really hard on myself on this blog. Sure we have issues and have had arguments but one of the best things about our relationship is that we have worked them all out when they come up. They don’t fester and get worse. Even some of the same things that keep coming up have had improvement; they just aren’t perfect yet. Our love and commitment, that is perfect.

And no, we don’t have a date set yet.

–luna

Pink

I got my new eyeshadow palette in the mail and I’m having lots of fun with the new colors. I love it. I did a pink and chocolate thing today that I think turned out really nice.

Hopefully Master and I are going to play this weekend. I have some cleaning he expects me to do but then I’m all his for playtime! It should be a fun Valentine’s day. I hope.

Baby Oh Baby

Well, Monday turned into hell. We had another breakdown argument and well things are doing better now. During the loud discussion as with all other discussions he asks me how he can help me change my behavior and attitude. Each and every time I tell him I don’t know. I say this because what I think would help is something he’s never been very agreeable to… punishment.

He’s great with reward, really really great. But punishing me has never been his thing. So last night I fessed up and told him I needed punishment. He agreed to help me by being harder on me and punishing me when I slip up, as soon as I slip up until I learn. It’s been painful but I think I’m learning.

I spent Tuesday feeling guilty and trying to be the perfect submissive. Master appreciated the efforts but will appreciate it if I continue past my usual 2 week mark where I tend to slip. Hopefully the immediate correction will help.

___

Today my sister had her baby, a girl, and she’s been wanting a girl really badly so she’s on cloud nine. I visited her in the hospital today. The baby is beautiful. Yay! I love kids, other people’s kids.

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I have a blown blood vein in my eyeball. It’s left this red blotch in the white of my eye. Kinda creeps me out really. I’m not 100% sure how I got it, I’m thinking the hard sobbing and coughing during Monday’s first punishment session. I had a lot of atoning to do…

–luna

Off

I’m really not sure what to talk about today. Master and I have been out of sorts since this weekend. We’ve had issues with feelings of a head cold, headaches and stress. Today we spent much of it apart, only coming together once or twice for an exchange. Not always good. It’s been difficult to understand what’s bothering him. Hopefully the time apart will be good for both of our spirits.

–luna

I'm so Spoiled!

Today Master feed my retail whore and got me some new things. We went out early and I got some kitchen things that I will share a picture of later on. After going home for a break (sex break, woohoo!) we went back out for a big spending spree.

Oh wait, you wanted to hear about the sex? Well…. I had 3 hitachi induced orgasms and a good pounding. Better sex had never been seen.

We picked up our shopping where we left off and I got a makeup mirror with lights and some more makeup. You how hard it is to find an eye primer or creme shadow in a skin tone at Target? I swear I walked around for almost an hour. And I can’t wait to try the eggplant creme eyeliner I got. Speaking of makeup I’ve found someone that does tutorials for makeup when wearing glasses. I don’t show me in glasses in any of my pictures but they are a permanent part of my face so I wanted to make sure I was doing some technique to make the look I want look good with glasses. Oh and I have a new red lipstick that I’ll try tomorrow with a look so watch the sidebar or twitter for that mugshot to go up. Thanks to everyone who has let me know their fav looks so far. I’m loving the feedback!

After getting a new hard drive for our RAID Master suggested we go to the sex shop. Great idea right? We got some fun toys there and spent enough that we got a grab bag of goodies too! Once we got home we set straight to work trying them out.

Master has a thing for large objects. He loves to see how much he can fuck me with and this new dildo tops all that we have currently, except maybe the inflatable one. It’s 10″ and god, I haven’t a clue on diameter. I know I can’t get my fingers to touch when I hold it. Yikes!

It was good, very good. Just wow, you know? Enough about that.

I’m hoping that this weekend I’ll get the sleep I’ve been needing. I’m just not sleeping well. Tonight I’ve decided to take a sleeping pill to see if I can get some restful sleep that way. I’m off to do that now.

–luna

Such a Slut Sometimes

Yesterday after a rocky start to the day Master and I reconnected. We reconnected a lot! Heh.

During one of our hot steamy reconnections my mind kept screaming thoughts to him, things I wanted him to do to me. For the most part I tend to keep these things silent. Besides, if he’s playing with my clit for example, and I get this urge to have him grind his whole hand against my pubic bone it’s just not something I’m going to tell him because he’s having a great time doing what he’s doing and I’m not NOT enjoying it. It’s hard to explain really.

Last night we played with the fantasy I have of more than one guy. Master was filling in for all of them of course. In the heat of a really good moment I had one of those silent screams that I wanted him to do something. I wanted him to make me suck his dick. It was part of my fantasy usually and so I licked my lips and looked at him. I said it, I actually voiced what I wanted him to do and OMG it was hot!

I’m not sure what keeps me from voicing these things, if there is some residual feeling that I’d be topping from the bottom or that it’s embarrassment and shame that I’m such a cock hungry slut at times. Master likes to make me blush by taking note of my slutty behavior and having me repeat him. It’s a hot uncomfortable feeling.  I get that same feeling when the inner voice screams for something that would make me even more a slut.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being Master’s slut, but when I find myself aiding the very thing that makes me embarrassed I keep it hiding. Does anyone else feel embarrassed by their own sexual desires as I do? Probably, but it’s also encouraged in our dynamic. He loves humiliating me sexually and gets off on making me repeat his dirty talk, pointing out how wet I’ve gotten or how loud I’m moaning. And I love it.

So, do I try to voice those inner screams more often and make myself even more slutty? I’m sure Master will ask me to do so. And I will have to break down that barrier and try.

–luna

Brush it Off

The past 3 days have gone by painfully. I’m in a funk that makes me hard to talk to, I’m snippy and grumpy, withdrawn and unapproachable. Today I’ve cried for no reason and Master has noted my gloomy mood on more than one occasion. I don’t know why I feel this way. I can’t pinpoint anything that triggered my mood. I’m hoping I can shake it soon.

Ya know, maybe part of it is that I went straight from being sick to having my period. Sexual contact has been off the table for over 2 weeks! Master and I both are going insane. Period should be done by tomorrow so, as long as my mood goes away we’ll be busy… very busy.

Yesterday Master got news that his grandmother died. He is taking it better than I would, but I guess we handle death differently. What’s more frustrating is our cell phone plan won’t let him call home.

I went to Target yesterday with Master’s permission and got some make up supplies that would make my desire to learn proper technique a lot easier. I got some nice Sonia  Kashuk brushes. I love them and can’t believe I’ve been using the crummy ones that I have been after today’s use. What a difference. I’m hoping to get some new eyeshadows in the coming months. I have a few new quad packs from walmart but I’m looking to get some quality stuff soon. I’m also watching a ton of videos on youtube for makeup application. I’ve found a woman I really really like: Makeup by TiffanyD. I’ve subscribed to her blog and I think I’ve watched at least half of her videos.

My next hope is that after I get into a routine of makeup application that I’ll start a skin care routine that includes moisturizer. Somewhere in my mind it says that if I take care of myself that my outer self with improve my inner self. I want to feel good about myself. Master will appreciate that, no doubt.

–luna