I had an orgasm today after not being able to have one for almost a week. It wasn’t for the lack of trying. Master said I had a broken clit. I didn’t like the idea that no matter what he or I did it just wasn’t responding they way it used to. Thankfully after a bit of work we were successful! Master commented afterward that perhaps I had a mental block keeping me from enjoying it enough to become excited. I don’t know really. I was getting frustrated, that’s for sure.
It’s been hard to see my sexual friskiness and interest in sex in general kinda fade away. I’m not sure what’s going on but I’m troubled by it and so is Master. He wants to get the the cause of it really soon before it becomes a huge issue. I can’t agree more.
We’ve both had a frustrating couple of days in the sex department. After last week we were tired of trying to figure out what both of us wanted so in the end we took turns. He got what he wanted, with some prodding along because he wanted the ‘hurt me’ sex and that takes a lot out of me in preparedness and survival.
I’ve talked about watching porn more and reading erotica more. All I’ve done is talk about it though. I just never thing about it so it never happens. Which of course, I think is related to my disinterest to begin with. How can I be horny if I’m not interested in becoming horny. *sigh*
It’s not that I don’t want sex or play either. I’d love it; it’s just that right now it doesn’t excite me and it certainly isn’t something I’m going to seek out for myself. This has Master almost throwing his hands in the air. It’s just not normal, ya know?
–luna
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I'm a large, curvy, lustful submissive learning the ropes in a full time D/s relationship. My explorations with love and life and BDSM have brought me closer to the edge of pain and pleasure, deep desires for rope bondage and debauchery but moreso a desire to delve deeper into submission and service to my Master 
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If he initiates instead of waiting for you to, do you find that you are more responsive, less, or about the same?
When things get like this I tend not to initiate sex.
In everyday life I’m a very touchy, feely person and when luna is in a responsive mood it means things can move on to sex later on.
If luna is unresponsive, ignores me, or doesn’t return any affection, touching, a smile, anything, it gives a very strong impression that if I wanted to take things farther it wouldn’t be very satisfying for me.
KnyghtMare´s last blog ..Stability at long last
Luna, i have the very same issue its like i’m broken. I want badly but i’m always so tired or we try and its like i have a steel clit i dont feel nothing but frustration which makes me bratty which aggrivates Master which gets my rump reddened which only makes the sexual tension that much higher. oh the vicious cycle just lettin u know your not alone!!!!
I am sort of lost here. Seems you have two options, well three actually. knyghtmare. Take her no matter if she is responsive. Punish her for her nonresponsiveness through out the day. Most especially since she has stated numerous times she knows this is what you want and she is changing it. Or three, maybe you two are not compatiable and you should move on.
I guess I don’t get the “not normal” part of this. Our bodies are cyclic in nature. This is especially true for women. So what if you aren’t a purring sex kitten all the time? You aren’t meant to be. Our bodies aren’t wired for that no matter how much we might want them to be. Sexual desire ebbs and flows just like everything else in life.
A lot of it is mental though. My Owner figured out that my body cycles through periods of desire and periods of disinterest and if I’m in a down slump sexually and he wants me to be up, he has to remove me from the things that cause my mental desire to plummet. For me, those things are nesting, mothering behaviors… housekeeping is fine. Homemaking can sometimes make me practically chaste. It becomes all I think about. If he wants the fire to burn consistently, he has to keep the pilot light lit with a little bit of desire. Master randomly grabs me, kisses me, pinches me, spanks me, pulls my hair, pushes me against a wall reminds me where I belong. He keeps me just a little on edge sexually. Nothing over the top so that I can’t function, but just little reminders that I am desirable and that he desires me. When he wants me, it’s just a little moment before I’m usually right there with him… but sometimes I’m not.. and that’s perfectly normal.
One thing also is that a lot of plus sized women tend to produce hormones in the wrong amounts. You might need to see a doctor or get your hormone levels tested. If your sexual hormones are imbalanced, it can make it harder for you to find your arousal. You might try a feminine tonic like red raspberry leaf or other herbs that regulate female hormones.
Good Luck
Kitten
kitten´s last blog ..Super-Duper!
My boyfriend has actually been going through something similar…we’re contributing it to stress. But Kitten is right. A lot of times, no matter how much we want something, our bodies just don’t agree with us and we just need to try different things to see what works and what doesn’t.
It seems your desire is there, you just need to act upon it hon.
Jessie Beth´s last blog ..m’eh >.< pissed off