This weekend was one that I’d like to forget. I was in such a horrible mood that it passed on to Master and we pretty much wanted to ignore each other all weekend. That didn’t help Master’s sexual frustration since he’s not likely to approach me at all when I look like I could bite his head off.
The hot sex that I’ve been fantasizing about and what he wants to make happen in some fashion has been put on hold. I know Master is frustrated. It’s been a whole 3 days since we’ve had sex all because of my crappy mood.
I know that he wanted to punish me or something but was at a loss as to what to do. I got depressed, really depressed and as he told me… yet again… that I was changing for the worse from what I used to be.
I’m not as affectionate as I used to be. I’m not as frisky. He said it was like my sexuality died. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel the same way. I’m off kilter.
I remember being very alluring and tempting when I was courting Master. I was voraciously horny all the time. I wanted to play kinky and be kinky at every turn, at every available moment. I want to be that woman again. I had a lot more fun when I was freer.
Maybe that’s one of my problems; maybe I’m restricting myself and not allowing myself to enjoy my sexuality.
Master told me this evening that he was watching me today to see how many times I returned affection when he gave it to me. Turns out about 25% I do. That’s horrible! What is wrong with me? I find Master to be so sexy and I can’t help myself but stare at him when I can. Why can’t I return affection like I used to?
I guess I have more questions than answers right now.
To compound things, my stomach has been doing a horrible number on me since last night. It hurts pretty badly. Master says it’s my diet. I haven’t been following it 100% so that’s what’s causing my pain. I’ll get it going on it now that I’m in phase 2. It will feel better that way.
I weighed in today. I stayed the same, so I maintained the loss from last week. I’m now in phase 2 of the diet and will be adding exercise into my routine. I hope to work up to 3 hours a week. Not sure where I’ll be starting but the 3 hour bar is relatively high for me right now.
So that’s about it.
–luna
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I'm a large, curvy, lustful submissive learning the ropes in a full time D/s relationship. My explorations with love and life and BDSM have brought me closer to the edge of pain and pleasure, deep desires for rope bondage and debauchery but moreso a desire to delve deeper into submission and service to my Master 
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Luna,
Have you had your thyroid checked? That may be your biggest problem, the thyroid effects so many things, mood, skin, hair, nails, over all feelings. If you have and are taking it, you might want to have it checked for an adjustment, if not, have them take the blood tests for it. It can change your life. I hope things get better for you and your Master, its just so sad, when two people who care about each other are out-of-sorts.
Keep your chin up…………I am praying for you both.
smiles…….Tom’s cunt
I have hypothyroidism. I was diagnosed a year ago. I had my blood tests and the meds checked in September and they are all fine. I have them checked again in February. I understand that the illness can cause a lot of things but I am not going to blame all of my mood swings on this.
I’ve had this sex issue since before I was diagnosed… when the tests showed that I didn’t have a thyroid problem. So, I think it’s something else.
Your stomach could be bothering you both due to stress and because of your diet. I know that when I eat well and then indulge in junk food it tears my stomach up!
I have had a similar issue with the lack of a sex drive. Indeed, you could be writing about me! What we’ve discovered is that, once Master gets me into the bedroom and we start to play, I inevitably come around and respond like I want to.
So what we do is schedule our playtime. Unless one of us is completely not in the mood (usually because of illness, or simply too tired) we go upstairs. If I am not especially in the mood, Master will begin tying me up. Often we will be talking about mundane stuff, or debating some issue. But as I get tied up I get more and more in the mood, enter into my submissive role. By the time I’m blindfolded I am entirely ready.
Anyway, we have found that this works for us. We still have the occasional spontaneous scene, but this has been a very useful habit for us.
Maintaining your weight on a week where you shifted to the next phase is pretty good, i think ~ stay strong! You’re getting there.
i know tummy issues are no fun and can throw you off ~ i’m very sensitive to specific foods and struggle with hyperthyroid, also, so i can relate. In particular, i got really, really sick after about 2 months on the Atkins program and had to quit that. From everything i’ve read, South Beach is a little less extreme than Atkins.
Hope you start to feel better soon and get the sexual mojo working again. Like Mara mentioned, we schedule in regular play/sex into our schedule… and other physical contact things into our daily routines/rituals… that works really well for us. We don’t have kids or anything (just fur kids), so it sounds funny to schedule in time, and i really resisted it at first (“it’s not spontaneous enough!”) but we do work from home and have lots of responsibilities and obligations that can steal focus away from our CORE of tpe, and ya just can’t let that happen! When i’m not feeling in my proper space, everything else suffers… yes it sure does…
Thank you. I’m still dealing with stomach issues and Master thinks it has to do with something I’m eating or not eating. He insisted I get better at taking my vitamins to hopefully help that out.
Mojo is slowly coming back. I know that it ebbs and flows, but gosh darn it… ebbs suck!