What to say…

I’ve not been well today, kinda foggy. I’m not sure if I have something percolating or it’s just a bad day. Master wanted my pain slut to come out and play today but I feel icky.

I took a nap and didn’t want to get up. I had to force myself.

One of the cats got sick on our bed and money is so tight I can’t launder the blanket right now so I have to stash it.

I’m tired of poor people food.

And then there is the email from my father. He’s been back into the hospital for his leg. It’s gotten worse again and he’s talking death…again. He’s known to be dramatic so I’m not sure really how bad it is. It can’t be too bad as he knows I don’t check the email address that often that he has.

I don’t want to deal with it right now. I’m not sure what to think. I’m certain he’s not taking care of himself. I know he’s lonely  and bored and poor. There is nothing I can do to improve the situation any. But I feel helpless.

And then there is the thought that he might die and I’ll have to deal with all of his remaining ‘stuff’. I love him because he’s my dad, but with the history we have makes me dread the work he’s going to leave me. I have no clue how to deal with the financial and other will related things he’ll leave behind. There is no doubt that it would all be debt.

*sigh*

–luna

7 thoughts on “What to say…

  1. Remember, your dad’s debts die with him. Some of the people he owes money to may try and convince you otherwise, but it is simply not the case. Don’t cave into their bullying.

  2. Sorry to hear about your dad, sounded like he was getting off pretty well before, and i breathed a sigh of relief for you. Doubt you need any new big emotional stuff right now, with all you’ve been through lately! i hope things work out for the best.

  3. Luna, so sorry to hear about your father taking a turn, Try not to think about the negative things…..God will see you through all of that. I know its hard when others do not understand why you do things, like staying in bed, not wanting to do things….I wish they could walk just one mile in our shoes………I have cancer and have been really ill this last two weeks, now I don’t live with my Master, but he calls to check in on me, how do I tell him whats happening, when all I am doing is spending hours in the bathroom and have taken over 10 amodiums???? I am sure thats not what he wants to hear and I can’t tell him what he wants to hear, Neither can you with your Master,. It such a catch 22…hang in there honey…..its going to get better………again. smiles…diana

    • *hugs* I’ve missed your comments and feared you were really ill. I hate hearing that you have had a hard bout of it.

      Master sees me struggle and feels helpless. I am grateful he’s here though and drops whatever he’s doing when I need him.

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