I’ve not been well today, kinda foggy. I’m not sure if I have something percolating or it’s just a bad day. Master wanted my pain slut to come out and play today but I feel icky.
I took a nap and didn’t want to get up. I had to force myself.
One of the cats got sick on our bed and money is so tight I can’t launder the blanket right now so I have to stash it.
I’m tired of poor people food.
And then there is the email from my father. He’s been back into the hospital for his leg. It’s gotten worse again and he’s talking death…again. He’s known to be dramatic so I’m not sure really how bad it is. It can’t be too bad as he knows I don’t check the email address that often that he has.
I don’t want to deal with it right now. I’m not sure what to think. I’m certain he’s not taking care of himself. I know he’s lonely and bored and poor. There is nothing I can do to improve the situation any. But I feel helpless.
And then there is the thought that he might die and I’ll have to deal with all of his remaining ‘stuff’. I love him because he’s my dad, but with the history we have makes me dread the work he’s going to leave me. I have no clue how to deal with the financial and other will related things he’ll leave behind. There is no doubt that it would all be debt.