Last weekend Master and I went down to a Halloween party, as I’ve mentioned in a previous post. I now have pictures of the pumpkin I carved. The only kinky (but not the only perverted) one there!

Tomorrow is my birthday. I’m feeling old.

Master has purchased a steel locking collar and I now wear that instead of my jewelry one I’ve had for 2 years. It’s an interesting thing. Quite heavy. I’m sure I’ll get used to it.

He and I were very excited to get it. He’s not about ceremony really so off went the other and on went this one without much of a ‘you are mine’ comment.

I’m going to DSM tomorrow for a Halloween party! It’s been a very very long time since I’ve been to any kind of party. Hopefully I’ll meet some interesting people and have a great time. We’ll be carving pumpkins and talking about goodness knows what. The libations will be running free so who knows, right?!

Master commented last night how great our relationship feels right now, he feels more in control and I feel more controlled. It’s a feeling I hope we can maintain. I’m settling into a peace in my submission that while it still comes hard I am finding it best to reach for it than to not try at all.

I’ve been really bitchy lately and it’s attributed to my PMS so I can see Master’s patience is a bit higher than normal. I think this is the 4th year in a row that my period has come on or around my birthday. No sex for me!

–luna

Master worked really late into the night to meet a deadline so when I got up this morning it was to a day off! Master and I went out to search for my birthday present. My birthday is this Saturday and if you are interested, here’s my Amazon wish list! I had noticed a phone on sale that I wanted to see if we could upgrade our plan to get. Turns out we have another year before we can upgrade! Ugh. I will definitely pick an awesome phone in a year’s time. I think I just settled for a pretty phone this time and while I do like it… I really wanted a messaging phone with a full keyboard. Of course I’m also looking for more people to text and get to know through messaging so if you’re game, send me your number and name you’d like to be known as. If I don’t recognize you from the blog it might be hard to get a message from me though. We’ll see.

Then we went to look at video games. I saw a few that might be interesting to have for the DS, but then I realized I had 3 games at home that I haven’t played yet. So, I vetoed that idea.

Master suggested jewelry and while I love jewelry I don’t wear the pieces I have now very often so I couldn’t see spending money on another piece right now.

That left us back at square one as far as a birthday present. We got hot beverages at Starbucks and then walked around Target. I found a purse to replace the one I had last year that is wearing out. We got a few other things that were on the grocery list for things we needed. Other than that I was at a loss of what I wanted.

On the way out to the car Master suggested we look for the collar that Master wants me to have now that we have more income he feels we can afford it. It’s an excellent idea and will be looking for one this weekend! Master wants a locking/allen key type but not the plain steel ring. He’s wanted some embossing on the ring. I know of only one place that I’ve seen this type of collar. Chaotic Creations. Does anyone have any experience with them?

Master and I are doing wonderfully. We feel so harmonious and working so well together. I’ve not been disobedient or forgetful and Master has been strict and comfortable in his control over me. I am happy to say that my efforts are paying off for me and Master is pleased as well. It just goes to show that good things have to be worked on but they are so worth it!

–luna

I’ve spent the past several days fighting headaches. Some as bad as migraines. I try to do some work and then I get the twinge. I hate it.

Master and I are doing great. We had some amazing sex yesterday. See we have these new vampire gloves that made titty squeezing quite pleasurable! Mix that with a bit of sex and I’m in heaven.

That’s not the only thing going right around here. Master and I have done quite well with reaffirming our dynamic. It’s still a little shaky but we are getting in groove. It’s great. I’m getting everything done, my rules are being enforced and I’m feeling so good.

That’s about it right now. I’ll check back here when the head isn’t aching.

–luna

I’ve not been well today, kinda foggy. I’m not sure if I have something percolating or it’s just a bad day. Master wanted my pain slut to come out and play today but I feel icky.

I took a nap and didn’t want to get up. I had to force myself.

One of the cats got sick on our bed and money is so tight I can’t launder the blanket right now so I have to stash it.

I’m tired of poor people food.

And then there is the email from my father. He’s been back into the hospital for his leg. It’s gotten worse again and he’s talking death…again. He’s known to be dramatic so I’m not sure really how bad it is. It can’t be too bad as he knows I don’t check the email address that often that he has.

I don’t want to deal with it right now. I’m not sure what to think. I’m certain he’s not taking care of himself. I know he’s lonely  and bored and poor. There is nothing I can do to improve the situation any. But I feel helpless.

And then there is the thought that he might die and I’ll have to deal with all of his remaining ‘stuff’. I love him because he’s my dad, but with the history we have makes me dread the work he’s going to leave me. I have no clue how to deal with the financial and other will related things he’ll leave behind. There is no doubt that it would all be debt.

*sigh*

–luna

Watching the news tonight was a mixed bag. Master and I both commented that we are thankful we work from home and don’t go out often when it comes to the H1N1 flu season. If we don’t linger around a lot of people we are likely not to get sick. Of course we know we aren’t in the danger groups but I still wouldn’t want to be sick with the flu.

Then Obama getting the Nobel Peace Prize. I’m baffled. The European community must think that he’s done something to be awarded it and I hope that he does something wonderful with the money. I’m glad that he stated he is a war president in this acceptance speech. He emphasized that he is working in two areas of war and that peace is his goal but he’s not there yet.

Master has been working hard all day long to set up our new server for all of our websites. For the past several months we’ve had some hosted on GoDaddy, others on our old box which was getting outdated. Now we are working to put them all on a faster and Master’s opinion better box. It helps that it’s half the cost too. He’s moved SubmissiveGuide and The Iron Gate so far. This blog will be moved at some point, so if you come here and find it not working, give it a moment and it will come back.

We are living tightly right now. I miscalculated the budget by a large margin and have had to use what little money left for food. We’re just sitting at home until Master’s paycheck comes in. I feel horrible for having done this for the second time. I think Master’s silence on the issue is killing me more than if he had reamed me a new asshole for it. Everyday I sit in wait for something to happen.  Paycheck is still about 2 weeks away. This sucks.

On the diet front, there’s no progress there either. I’m not slipping but I’m not losing either. Master has me exercising so I know it will show sooner or later. I just need to kick it into gear. I’m hoping for a loss this week when I weigh in.

–luna

We got a few new toys today. First a pair of vampire gloves. I’ve always been curious by them. Master tried them out during sex. I like to have my breasts squeezed so to add the element of pins to that was wonderful. I loved it and I know that Master did too.

Then we got a hood. It’s spandex with a blindfold and an open mouth. I thought it would be good to get used to and I was certain that Master would love the objectification aspect of it. I tried it on for a short time to see how my rebreathing phobia was going to be. I was fine. We’ll try it out in scene soon enough.

I did a lot of work today and it made me feel really good about myself. I think I will have to employ the same trick that I did today in the future. I set a timer for 30 mins and did some online work, then 30 mins to do housework, and back to the online work. Simple and effective for me.

Last night Master and I had a great time with a friend of ours. He came over to play some games, he didn’t win any, but it was fun anyhow! I can’t wait till next time he comes over.

–luna

Last night, I attended the college graduation of my little sister. I cried and smiled and did everything to make sure she knew that I was so proud of her. She dropped out of high school at the age of 16, had a baby, ran off to discover herself but found drugs instead. Came home, settled down a bit and got her GED. Then in the blink of an eye she got married and had another baby. When she told me she was going back to school for an AA in Business that I grinned. I knew she would do it. And last night as she walked across the stage she proved it.  (and looking quite pregnant might I add with her next adventure, a girl).

It was a bittersweet graduation too. My sister’s childhood best friend since kindergarten died a few months ago suddenly in her sleep. She would have been walking across that stage immediately after my sister. Instead her husband and their 2 little girls did it for their mommy.  The entire theater stood up and applauded. I cried. I knew her like a sister because when her own Mother died in a housefire, we were her foster family for 3 years. She lived with us and shared my sisters clothes. They were inseparable.

The graduation program had a memorial in it for her. My little sister wrote a poem to her best friend. It made me cry too.

In the end I’m so very proud of my little sister for finding the courage to break through all her obstacles and graduate.

–luna