Master was sick for much of September… so was I. This lead to a dry spell in our sexual lives. Now that we are both well my period is only days away. So why is it that I am not interested in sex? Master is quite frustrated about it and brings it up often enough. It hurts me that I’m not interested and hurt still more that he’s not in the mood just to take what he needs from me, regardless of my emotions.
I don’t have a reason not to be horny. I spent a good 3 weeks without kissing the man I love, without caressing him and fondling him. I spent that time with pent up energy (and then sickness). Why I can’t spill it out now is beyond me.
This could be another result of my blahs that I’ve been feeling lately. Then again, they could not. I hate the idea of tacking all my issues onto one ‘excuse’ and calling it a day.
Master is still the sexiest man in my life. He enters my dreams and he sleeps naked in bed with me. I lust after him and I love being lusted after by him.
I told him yesterday that for sex to be fun for me I crave a bit of pain or something. That something being play of any sort. But I see now that I’ve not given him any clues as to my desires other than that; and worse yet I’ve been crabby with him even mentioning that I’ve not sexed him the way he wants for a few days.
The blowjob he got yesterday wasn’t half bad. I took me a bit to get into it, but in the end it was fun. I blindfolded him so that he couldn’t see my face… at first to mask the bored look… and then because he makes more noises that way. I love the noises. It’s hard to get him to make those noises during sex. He said he’s concentrating on other things then. Sure, I’ll buy that.
So what’s with me? I think hormones is one reason. My period is so near that I keep running to the bathroom with that sensation. You know what I’m talking about girls. And just as my period will start I can bet you that my horniness will go through the roof. And of course, he won’t use me then. So blowjobs and attention for him will have to tide him over.
Why can’t it be simpler? You want to fuck me, okay… go. Nah, there have to be expectations and emotions attached to it.