Today I got up on time and did my exercise this morning. I felt good all day long because I had done that instead of putting it off. I know that if I had, I wouldn’t have done it. I’ve had 1800 calories today too; all good.
I don’t have a lot to say tonight I’ve realized. Master and I had an argument (thus the locked post below) but I think we are doing better now. If relationships were easy I don’t think people would be so picky to get what they want, they’d hop person to person.
Master means the world to me and I’ll do anything to make sure that he’s happy and that we work well together. The issues I currently have are with my own submission, and I’ve said several times before that I need to take my own advice that I write about so often. I know what I should be doing, but I’ve not done it. Master’s got issues with that, and right he should be.
I’ve got a long way to go, no doubt about it, and Master hasn’t given up on me yet; although I think he’s wanted to on occasion. That’s pretty committed I think. I’m sure we’ll just get closer as I mature and grow in my submission.
I’m not really submissive right now. I’ve not been a good girlfriend either. I’ve just not made the switch from grief to actual life again. I live the dream and yet I’m not living it. How in the world do people do it? Of course it’s hard to say for sure that the blogs I read and the people I look up to aren’t having similar problems. The beauty of blogging is that you can write about whatever you want. People could just keep the hard parts of their relationship out of the blog.
–luna
Remember “What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger” I believe that to be true.
This time with your Master will soon pass, your grieving will lesson and life will be back to what you’all consider “normal”.
This is all part of growing and as you said maturing….keep your chin up, you are a lovely person and we need you to continue blogging, I for one love you truthfulness, your honesty. It’s enlighting to see a younger person who can open up like you and still remain sane : ).
Good going on the exercise for the day and those “good” calories…..all those choices build character.
smiles…..Tom’s cunt…..diana
I really do hope it’s soon, but I think some of my problem is my own device. I’m pushing against his dominance really hard sometimes and it’s not doing our dynamic good. I’ve got to find that peace to work into my role a bit better. I just have to stop fighting it.
i don’t currently do a public blog – but we definitely have issues and rough patches all the time! Including i struggle with obedience, too, which is mostly about overcoming my ego enough to relinquish the control that i secretly, honestly, in my Higher thoughts know i NEED. Why do we fight against something we need and want to do? That’s a tough one, yessirree. Every day, Daddy & i learn more about how to help each other through the process a little better. Slowly He is learning that when i’m this kind of angry, i need this to bring me back into line, and when i’m that kind of stressed, i need that kind of attention… and we’ve been together, actively doing this, for 8 years! And it’s still a learning process. Meanwhile i’m also learning how to self-manage, self-motivate, take those precious moments when everything is precarious and do what i know i’m supposed to do – sometimes, even do it with the right attitude! lol
The easy part is knowing how to please Daddy. The hard part is making myself do it when i don’t want to or “feel it.”
i think what really separates a Lifestyle from the part-time players is the commitment to the journey, bumps and all.
Hang in there! Every little baby step counts.
I’m so glad to hear I’m not the only one with difficulties (not that I ever assumed I was alone). Thanks so much!