Play Date

Today was a lot of fun! I felt submissive more than I have in the recent weeks. Master ordered me to wear my collar and cuffs set all day. Master has used me and I’m sure there will be more by the end of the night. I love how he mmmm’s and groans as he’s torturing me and teasing me. I’m still wearing the cuffs and have ben wa balls inside me, jiggling around. He said that this way I’ll be primed for fucking later. I love knowing that my size hasn’t stopped his desire of me. While it has made some of the more active play things pushed aside for now, I know that he’s willing to work with me to get more active and healthy.

I remember the blindfold, clothespins on my nipples and fucking, listening to him get off on my helplessness. I remember the speader bar at my wrist, keeping them from doing much of anything. I remember his voice calling me a whore and I’m getting wet thinking about it. I’m so into the verbal humiliation and moreso when he makes me repeat phrases.

On to other things…

Yesterday he let up on one of the punishments; I can have drinks other than water now (except pop). It was great to be able to have fruit punch, milk, juice and coffee. I think I drank more with those options open to me. After a week of just water I was so happy to show him that I can be a good girl. I want to win back all of his trust. I didn’t mean to lie to him and cover up the lies with more lies.

I weighed in today at 350. That’s 4 lbs less than less week. Hopefully I can continue and lose 2 lbs this week. I could be back to 340 by the end of August. I really hope I can. That would mean 330 by my birthday and possibly less by the end of the year. I’m just projecting success, it’s good thought. I can get past the binging.

Master has been there with the everyday. He’s monitoring everything I eat and since I don’t have access to money he keeps me from eating while out. He is my guardian and my sheild from the bad things that make me want to eat. I just run to him for attention and affection when I’m feeling the sense of loneliness and loss that I’ve been feeling. I’m not fixed, of course, but I know I can do it. I’m not alone.

–luna

Possibly related posts:

1. Used
2. HNT: Have a nice day!
3. My Bruised Boobies
4. Taking
5. Under the Desk