We had a pretty good munch today. A class on Spanking and Impact play went really well I think. Master was nervous as always. He gets sweaty palms, it’s so cute. I love his little nerves. He’s so smart and knows what he needs to know. I know that with every class he gets more confident. I love him so much.
If anyone remembers that I was doing Miss Abernathy’s Slave Training last year? I stopped abruptly because my ex-job took my book when I was fired and destroyed it. Well I got a new copy so I’m thinking I can get back into it soon. I’m going to have to go back one lesson and get back into mediation. I’m doing a lot of reading in a few new books about submission and slavery. Some are for Submissive Guide and while I know they will come in handy for that site, they are helping me too.
I’m working on my own training, my interalizing submission as an erotic feeling. That’s a goal to look for! I’m not sure how I’ll do that, but I’m wanting to make it pleasurable for my service. Master would enjoy it too. Right now, I like to see him smile and tell me he’s proud of me but I just get that lovely feeling. I just want to get that sexy feeling now too.
One of my big hang ups is that I don’t like my body right now. It’s evident in almost everything I do. I say it a lot too. I’m not really sure how to change my attitude except to exercise and eat right. Lose the weight and feel better. I must be sexy inside as well as out.
–luna
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I'm a large, curvy, lustful submissive learning the ropes in a full time D/s relationship. My explorations with love and life and BDSM have brought me closer to the edge of pain and pleasure, deep desires for rope bondage and debauchery but moreso a desire to delve deeper into submission and service to my Master 
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They took your book and destroyed it? That’s not right….whether or not they *like* it that’s your personal property. Is it even legal for them to do that?
I have no idea what’s going on but your blog looks really funny today- looks like this post was made a whole lot of times- LOL.
Yeah they destroyed the book, sucks doesn’t it! I had no recourse, it was destroyed before I was informed.
I think I fixed the mess with my blog. I had to reinstall the software and while I was at it I picked a new theme
luna you are gorgeous! i know how important it is to FEEL sexy – and that, surprisingly, that’s not really something your master can do for you (although he can certainly encourage and support you), but something that comes from within. i can relate to your struggle because, after several years of a debilitating illness, i am now looking to lose 114 lb. to get back to my pre-illness weight. my first/primary goal, though, is to FEEL better and be healthier, be able to DO more things both within my slave role and just with life in general – and not to LOOK better (although i sure hope that comes, too!) Truthfully, my Daddy thinks i look beautiful and sexy right now – and He says so daily – and from what you write it sounds like your master feels the same way about you. So for me, focusing on being HEALTHY and centered and listening to what my body wants has made all the difference and is WORKING. What doesn’t work: diets. Beating yourself up. Focusing on what you don’t like instead of what you do like about yourself, your body, your life, and what you want MORE of. i can see you already do that sometimes, like when you got your new pretty dresses!
If you can, check out the book: “I Can Make You Thin” by Paul McKenna. It looks a little hokey from the cover picture & title but it’s amazing and may change how you think about dieting. Both the hardcover and paperback come with an audio CD that’s worth its weight in gold.
Also, Abernathy’s STM is mostest fabulous. The more of it you do (i.e., writing exercises, reading suggestions), the more you’ll get out of it. We’ve been through it twice and got a lot more out of it the second time.