Here we are on a Monday where I might actually do a Mediation Monday. It’s been a long time so here’s what normally happens. I talk about something about my dynamic or relationship that might be interesting to others. I do try to get questions from people for these, but I’m going to have to wing it this week 
I got up on time today but with a killer migraine. I’m still living with it right now, but it’s not nearly as bad as it was. I got all of my household chores done by noon and went off to the store. I really need to learn not to go hungry because everything looked so darn good! I stuck to my list though… mostly.
Part of my new service has been finding greener ways to live, and the first thing I did was buy the reusable bags for groceries. I feel so much better using those and by gosh I use half the number of bags this way! They are huge enough for 8 liters of water and more items on top! I just feel good about using them and can’t explain it. Now that I have that going for me I’m working on recycling. Milk jugs first since that’s easy and then perhaps I’ll do tin cans. They require some prep work before I can return those, but I think I can do it. Milk jugs was the big thing right now. I’ll turn in what I have this week sometime.
I have a roast in the oven, usually I roast something on Sunday, but we had a lazy day and had fast food. So, mmm, roast. I’m going to try turnips today for the first time ever in my mashed potatoes. If I like them I also read that I can make them in the roasted veggies I like (zucchini, yellow squash, peppers, onions, potatoes). I’m tempted to try parsnips next. Master already has informed me he doesn’t like turnips, parsnips or swede (rutabaga) so I’ll be eating these on my own if I find I like them.
Now on to Meditation Monday!
I thought I’d talk about my size today and how we’ve adjusted how it impacts my life with Master. If you haven’t figured out from the picture up top, and I know it’s hard to guess, I am morbidly obese. This means I am well over 100 lbs over the suggested weight I should be for my height. In fact I’m closer to 150 lbs overweight. I don’t want to stay this way forever, but until I can really go crazy with life changes and exercise I’m having to adjust my life as it is. I’ve always been fat. That’s not going to change.
So, one of the things that I’d love to do more of, but am limited is kneeling, sitting on the floor and crawling. All of these things hurt in different ways. I can kneel up for about 5 mins, but I can’t rest back on my heels, there’s just too much in the way. I can be on all fours for quite awhile though if I have support under my belly. I sit on the floor occasionally. We planned for weekly but that’s not a habit yet. I have a pillow or two that I sit on, but the pressure of my belly apron on my upper thighs (and the veins there) cause my legs to go to sleep. That’s just not comfortable. Master lets me shift and move when I need to though. Crawling is killer for me knees on the hard floors, but I can do it for awhile on carpets. He hasn’t really asked me to do this ever, but I have done it myself to tease him seductively!
Other things I’ve had to deal with are fetish clothing I can’t wear, the amount of rope has to use for anything decorative on me and shaving problems.
That’s right I said shaving problems. If you aren’t a little bit overweight you wouldn’t really now, but I’ve not seen my pussy directly in over 10 years. To shave is more a feel and scrape approach. It’s not perfect, I cut myself a lot and all those recommended methods that show up on submissive forums all the time, just don’t work. I can’t see what I’m doing! Oh well. Master can and he loves it just fine. I must do a decent job then.
–luna
[mm]
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I'm a large, curvy, lustful submissive learning the ropes in a full time D/s relationship. My explorations with love and life and BDSM have brought me closer to the edge of pain and pleasure, deep desires for rope bondage and debauchery but moreso a desire to delve deeper into submission and service to my Master 
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I’m not sure if you read my blog, but awhile ago I talked about how hard shaving was for me, because I can’t see pussy either. When I haven’t shaved in awhile I use bikini nair, which Master puts on, it works really well, but I haven’t found a method to do when there is no hair, in order to keep no hair. Master is afraid of shaving me, so I will keep trying to figure out ways to shave.
I love the idea of using the cloth grocery bags, we just haven’t invested in them yet, maybe soon.
Kari
Kari Renees recent blog post..Variety of Questions
I totally know how it goes to try to keep your puss smooth when you can’t see it!
As for the cloth bags we didn’t splurge all at once, I bought one at a time ($1-1.50 a bag) each time I went shopping. I’m up to 6 now, which is how many I needed this time to do a full week’s shopping so I don’t think I buy more.
Using reusable cloth bags is a great idea – I use them, but sometimes also still get plastic to scoop the cat litter into. It’s a compromise.
Reading your attitude towards your own body makes me so sad. While it’s true that I haven’t been overweight my own life, I’m currently obese, too. But I refuse to give up hope – I’ve stopped looking at it like I have to give things up to be thinner/healthier. I look at it like an entire lifestyle change towards something I really want, and it’s no different than saving up for something I want to buy. Just takes patience and lots of willpower. Eep, I hope I don’t sounds preachy going on and on – this is just something that I’ve found myself getting very passionate about.
Have you considered trying yoga? CatalinaLoves recommended it to me when I first started wanting to live healthier, and I found that putting my body through the slow rhythmic motion made me feel better, made me feel more capable, and made me more flexible and stronger – that really helped with rope bondage and stuff. These days I Tivo yoga on the Fit Channel so I can workout when I want to, and I do the Wii Fit daily – love that thing.
And if you need support, a friend, or someone to help you over the humps that inevitably appear in the road….I’m a good listener.
Thursday’s Childs recent blog post..The Bee’s Knees
Thanks TC,
If and when I go back to dieting I will certainly be looking for support of some type. I’ve wanted to do yoga for awhile now, I’ll have to look for a cheap DVD to try. Thanks for the suggestion.
I was very touched by your ability to share your thoughts about your own body. I am obese as well and although I have recently lost 57 lbs, I have a long way to go. Kudos to you for your inner support……hang in there it will happen for you. I wanted to share what I use for shaving my privates……….AVON has the best hair removal cream, its in their Skin-So-Soft line. It is not that expensive and it takes only 4 minutes…..I love it. It does not burn like nair on me. And it gives you a silky smooth finish, which all Masters love. Try it, at times it is on sale.
Good luck with the dieting, I have just been diagnoised with cancer, so I have little to no appetite…..not an easy way to lose either. You can do it, you are so very beautiful. I enjoy reading your blog, thanks for sharing! smiles, diana his cunt
Thank you so much for words. I am completely honest on my blog so sharing my body image is part and parcel. I will have to give Avon a try at some point I’m sure. I am always looking for easier ways to take care of hair removal.