The Aftermath

Yesterday was a horrible day in my life. I only have me to blame for it since I could have not done any internet surfing and I wouldn’t be in this situation. I think that no matter what websites I was looking at I would have been fired for violating their internet policy. I’m not arguing it. I left without saying a word.

I cried a lot last night, I feel guilt, loss, anxiety, paranoia and fear. I must have cried in my sleep because I woke up with sticky eyelids and a wet pillow. This morning, the friends and contacts I had made will find out that I am no longer there.

I feel vengeful too. I want the contract to fail, I want them to realize how hard they have it now that I’m gone. I want the contacts to hate the new person and beg for my return. I want them to screw up so bad with the new person, or the billing, or realize that I left with so much information not written down and they can’t figure out how I did something. I’ve been assured that this feeling is normal.

This morning I got up and made Master’s coffee. Last night we went over the 2 website business ventures that I can be working on while I look for work. If they seem promising I could go into business for myself. Master will increase his hours to full time and make more than we did together when I was working. We will be fine for money.

However, the first thing to go last night was Shibaricon dreams. We canceled the registrations and hotel reservations. It’s just not feasible to not have me working for extra money and try to save it at the same time. It would put too much stress on Master. Maybe next year. There will be rope pleasure though, as the second Two Knotty Boys book, Two Knotty Boys Back on the Ropes will arrive tomorrow. I can’t wait for Master to tie me up again!

So now I figure out a new routine, filed for unemployment, look for a job, work on my websites and try to get some income off of them. (BTW if you are interested in advertising or donations for Submissive Guide, please contact me)

We’ll survive. I have a wonderful Master that keeps saying we’ll be fine and he’ll take care of me because that’s what he wants to do. One day I hope to say it myself. Right now, it’s just a holding pattern.

–luna

Possibly related posts:

1. Monday is Here
2. Friday Update
3. 10:30
4. Countdown to finals
5. Disappointment