In this lesson I get to learn all about the risks I bring with me into the training program. These are all a part or growth and development.
First, relationships…
Rate your responses to the following statements. Use a scale of 1-10 where 1 means ‘never’ or ‘absolutely not’ and 10 means ‘always’ or most definitely.’
- I am most comfortable when in a monogamous relationship. 10
- I enjoy feeling helpless or ‘out of control’ sometimes. 4
- I am attracted to members of my own gender. 5
- I am uncomfortable if I don’t know what my partner is thinking. 8
- My family knows about my interest in D/s and they’re all right with it. 5
- My friends know about my interest in D/s and their supportive of my choices. 8
- If my neighbors found out about my interest in D/s, it wouldn’t bother them in the least. 6
- My therapist is comfortable discussing my interest in D/s and seems to know something about consensual BDSM. 0 – I don’t have a therapist.
Work…
Describe your current job. In what ways do you imagine slavehood might affect your work? If your employer or co-workers found out about your interest in D/s, what would most likely be the outcome?
If you quit your job today, where would you stand financially?
In my current job I manage and perform customer service for a company’s printer/copier/scanner fleet. I interact with users through all sorts of medium and help them with printing and copying issues, make sure the printers have basic maintenance and call service on ones I can not repair. I also provide reporting to managers on the printing volumes and use of the machines.
Slavehood affects my work only in how I have learned to interact with people. I’m far more polite than I used to be, I’m more patient with people who are upset and I can think ahead in situations that might require solutions.
If my employer or co-workers found out about my interest in BDSM I think I may be fired. I’m not really sure. It’s not something I want to explore in much depth. My boss thinks he knows me quite well so perhaps I could be okay as long as it ‘didn’t interrupt my work’. I have had co-workers notice my triskeli hanging in my car and came out to tell me they knew what it meant. Quite interesting.
If I quit my job today we’d be struggling to stay afloat somewhat. Master would begin working 40 hour weeks, which he isn’t now and I’d be looking for ways to make money and stay happy in the mean time. I don’t know how I would cope with not working, as I feel a bit helpless when I’m not working.
Lastly, health…
Activity: Acquire a copy of your medical history. Make a list of medications that you use. Date the list and add it to your medical history file. Be sure to update the list as needed.
I need to do this yet. I go back to the Dr in February. I will see if I can get a copy then.
Activity 2: If you have not had a thorough physical for more than 3 years, schedule one.
I had one in June.
Exercise: Answer the following questions in detail and be scrupulously honest. It is vital that your trainer have this information to help maintain your personal safety. If you are without a trainer, consider the implications of your answers. Would a lifestyle change or professional assistance make it easier for you to serve?
- Do you have any allergies? Yes, I’m allergic to ivory soap, evergreen and some deodorants, detergents and washing liquids. I’m also allergic to codeine and oxycodone.
- Do you have any dietary restrictions? Are you vegetarian or vegan? No, I don’t.
- Do you have any chronic illnesses or injuries that trouble you? What sort of treatment do you use? I’m currently battling depression and I have hypothyroidism that causes me to have a drain of energy with even the most basic tasks right now. I’m on synthroid to start to balance that out. I also have a tense left shoulder that restricts how long it can be put under tension.
- Do you wear eyeglasses or contact lens? A hearing aid? I wear eyeglasses all the time.
- Do you use any drugs (including alcohol and tobacco) recreationally? What and how often? No. I’ve never used anything.
- Are you currently struggling with an addiction? No.
- Are you aware of any body image issues that trouble you? Of course. I’m quite obese and feel constantly aware of what other people see when they look at me. I hate the discomfort I’m always in when sitting and don’t like to look like I’m stuggling at things that should be easy. I’ll generally ignore my body’s warning and do it anyway to keep from being embarrassed.
- Are you clean and/or sober? For how long? Clean.
- Are you in recovery from an addiction other than alcohol or drugs? For how long? N/a
- Did you suffer any abuse (physical, verbal, psychological, sexual, spiritual..) as a child? Yes, my parents were great at verbal and emotional abuse. My father was physical with me. I grew up with it constantly.
- Have you suffered such abuse as an adult? No.
- How have you learned to heal these wounds? I’ve conciously erased much of my childhood. I try to recall things and can’t remember much. Pretty much like shutting the door and never looking back.
- If you have a history of abuse, can you identify any ‘triggers’ (words, sounds, objects, situations) that might cause you trauma now? Yes, belts, quick sudden unexpected movements, raised voices.
- Do you have any history of abusing others? If so, what steps have you taken to change this pattern? No.
