Comments on: When Master is Too Lenient http://lunakm.me/2008/09/when-master-is-too-lenient/ luna's personal adventures into BDSM, submission, service and love Sun, 25 Jul 2010 02:48:24 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Greenwoman http://lunakm.me/2008/09/when-master-is-too-lenient/comment-page-1/#comment-7437 Greenwoman Sun, 21 Sep 2008 14:43:07 +0000 http://blog.the-iron-gate.com/?p=1894#comment-7437 The use of force in submission or sensuality is a dangerous road for many survivors. It can lead to some serious panic and emotional turmoil/dysfunction. I have always had an agreement with myself that I would focus on one thing that he likes that I am afraid of each time we are intimate. And each time I would do something toward conquering my emotions about it. For me, one of the biggest triggers was always blow jobs. Like you, I experienced abuse and it was through forced oral sex. For many years it was emotionally painful for me to perform, but I didn't want my man to yearn for something and wish he had a woman who would do that for him. I would push right up to the fear and just stand on it for as long as I could without pushing into dangerous emotional territory. There were times when other things in my life were so emotionally challenging that it was just too much to work on any of these sexual matters. I was already on my emotional edges...and so we'd take a break from this work together. And we felt that was simple good mental health care. When I was working on the sexual service though, sometimes I could only manage a kiss on his phallus. Other times it was a full oral experience, with ejaculation. Sometimes it was only caressing him with my face near it. I wanted to give him this, so I did what I could when I could. But there were also times when I was pissed off at him and didn't want to work on it. Usually that was the reason that I didn't want to offer him oral service. Because I was mad about something; sometimes I wasn't even aware that I was angry, but he eventually got wise to that emotional pattern and called me on it. That's a whole other story though and this is a long enough comment already. I am rather sure that you'll figure out what's best for you both. Blessings!! Greenwomans last blog post..<a href="http://rootsdown.wordpress.com/2008/09/21/hubby-humor/" rel="nofollow">Hubby Humor</a> The use of force in submission or sensuality is a dangerous road for many survivors. It can lead to some serious panic and emotional turmoil/dysfunction. I have always had an agreement with myself that I would focus on one thing that he likes that I am afraid of each time we are intimate. And each time I would do something toward conquering my emotions about it. For me, one of the biggest triggers was always blow jobs. Like you, I experienced abuse and it was through forced oral sex. For many years it was emotionally painful for me to perform, but I didn’t want my man to yearn for something and wish he had a woman who would do that for him. I would push right up to the fear and just stand on it for as long as I could without pushing into dangerous emotional territory.

There were times when other things in my life were so emotionally challenging that it was just too much to work on any of these sexual matters. I was already on my emotional edges…and so we’d take a break from this work together. And we felt that was simple good mental health care.

When I was working on the sexual service though, sometimes I could only manage a kiss on his phallus. Other times it was a full oral experience, with ejaculation. Sometimes it was only caressing him with my face near it. I wanted to give him this, so I did what I could when I could.

But there were also times when I was pissed off at him and didn’t want to work on it. Usually that was the reason that I didn’t want to offer him oral service. Because I was mad about something; sometimes I wasn’t even aware that I was angry, but he eventually got wise to that emotional pattern and called me on it. That’s a whole other story though and this is a long enough comment already. I am rather sure that you’ll figure out what’s best for you both. Blessings!!

Greenwomans last blog post..Hubby Humor

]]> By: mara1066 http://lunakm.me/2008/09/when-master-is-too-lenient/comment-page-1/#comment-7431 mara1066 Sat, 20 Sep 2008 23:29:28 +0000 http://blog.the-iron-gate.com/?p=1894#comment-7431 You know, Master and I are dealing with this same issue. He's so nice and considerate. How mean and cruel do I want him to be? It's a very fine line to tread. You know, Master and I are dealing with this same issue. He’s so nice and considerate. How mean and cruel do I want him to be? It’s a very fine line to tread.

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