I’d hate to think that it’s inevitable, but sooner or later we may have to encounter law enforcement at our door due to nosey neighbors or medical personnel because of a mishap when playing. Knowing what to say to these authorities could keep you safe, protected and make sure that they have some understanding as to your bedroom proclivities.

I’ve read in other places that you should say nothing and share nothing. Also that questions should not be answered without a lawyer. I tend to disagree. I’m not saying that you have to completely disclose everything you do, but if it has bearing on the reason for their visit. The more information you provide the easier it will be for everyone involved.

So, what should you do in a medical emergency and the Ambulance personnel are asking questions as to what happened in order to establish a baseline, I’d be straightforward and honest so that they can have all the information possible.

“We engage in kinky sex and I had tied him/her up by the wrists/ankles like this (show pose). We were enjoying ourselves immensely when s/he stopped breathing and I couldn’t wake him/her up.” This gives the personnel much more information as to the state of the person prior to the incident than just saying they stopped breathing and you didn’t know what happened. What if they had poor blood circulation and the bondage caused them to faint of lose consciousness? This information would be vital to have. Hiding could mean you have something more to hide…. like non-consensual play.

Police officers have another reason to be there. Typically there has been a disturbance call or a concern for someone’s welfare at the location. Thankfully there is a Tips and FAQs provided by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom that should help you in case the police are at your door. Be polite and respectful. If you were in the middle of play, make sure that everyone is attended to (if someone is tied up, let them know you would like to get them down). You do not have to volunteer information to the officer. If they intend to arrest you, ask for a lawyer immediately. Don’t resist. Anything volunteered before a lawyer could affect your case later, especially if you are innocent.

I actually spoke to the Sheriff when I first started engaging in BDSM play since he lives 5 houses away and I’m in an apartment. I shared with him the Law Enforcement Field Guide, also from the NCSF so that if he had questions, he could be better informed. He thanked me for letting him know and he would keep that in mind if he got calls for our apartment. I know that was daring of me but I wanted to be up front with them before they started knocking on the door for screams and loud impact sounds.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure you are comfortable before the emergency arises. The NCSF has wallet cards that you can get with the tips and quick guide for if the police are at your door and can be requested from their website. I carry one with me also, just in case.

–luna